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Goldilocks and The Bears Trio as Told by Sue Ellen
Goldilocks and The Bears Trio as Told by Sue Ellen is a retelling of the traditional story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears featured on the album Arthur's Really Rockin' Music Mix, presented in the form of a play. It is not based any material from the TV series and is also the only track that is not a song, as Sue Ellen claims that she can't sing.
The Play[edit]
Arthur
What are you gonna sing, Sue Ellen?
Sue Ellen
I can't sing.
Francine
Hey, we finally found something Sue Ellen can't do!
Sue Ellen
But I've written a play in stereo (echoes). Here are your parts, I'm the narrator. Ahem. Once upon a time, there were three bears: Daddy Bear.
Arthur
That's me. Hi!
Sue Ellen
Big Mama Bear.
Francine
I love being married to Daddy Bear!
Arthur
Hey, that's not in the script. Aw, Francine!
Francine
Eugh!
Sue Ellen
And precious, adorable little Baby Bear.
Binky
What?! Why am I a baby?! I'm bigger than my parents here!
Sue Ellen
Binky! Nobody can see you. It's just sound.
Binky
I don't feel like a baby. Can't I be their (puts on a Southern accent) cousin from down south who's a professional race car driver?
Sue Ellen
No! The Bears were musicians. Daddy played his harpsichord, (flat harpsichord playing) but it was too flat. Momma played her viola, (sharp viola playing) but it was too sharp. Baby Bear played the cello, and it was just right.
Binky
This thing's kinda big for a baby to play.
Sue Ellen
Just play, Baby!
Binky
Okay, honey! (pleasant cello playing, which continues for a brief while as Sue Ellen narrates)
Sue Ellen
Mama and Daddy Bear decided to take a walk. While they were gone, a very beautiful little girl named Goldilocks came to their house and said....
Buster
My, what a very pretty house.
(loud giggling from everyone but Sue Ellen and Buster)
Sue Ellen
Buster?! What are you doing?! D.W. was supposed to be Goldilocks.
Buster
Well, she said the part wasn't big enough for her talent and left.
Sue Ellen
So sweet and pretty Goldilocks fluffed up her beautiful, pink flowery dress...
(laughter from the peanut gallery again)
Buster
This is embarrassing, skip ahead!
Sue Ellen
Suddenly there was knock on the door. It was the big, bad wolf! (sound of loud knocking)
Buster
(with German accent) Hello. I am Wolfgang!
Sue Ellen
(moans)
Francine
Hold it! You're Goldilocks!
Buster
Yeah, but I was the wolf first. Does this mean I have to chase myself?
Sue Ellen
Let's just jump to the end. The Bears come home and find Goldie and the wolf in their house. The Bears are not happy about this.
Baby Bear
Mama, Daddy, stand back! Let Baby Bear take care of this!
Sue Ellen
Stick to the script, Baby!
Binky
Okay, sugar!
Sue Ellen
Then Goldilocks said...
Buster
Wolfgang and I tuned your instruments, didn't we? (as Wolfgang) Ja, we did!
Sue Ellen
So the Bears played and their instruments sounded just right. (all play well)
Buster
(as Goldilocks) Hey, can we play too? (as Wolfgang) Ja! I brought mein tuba! (begins playing tuba)
Sue Ellen
Then the Bears chased Goldilocks and the wolf out of the house! (sounds of the Bears growling)
Buster
(as Goldilocks) Ahhh! (as Wolfgang) Ooh! (as Goldilocks) Ahhh! (as Wolfgang) Ooh!
Binky
Finally some action!
Sue Ellen
(beautiful music playing resumes) They locked the door and the Three Bears played happily. The moral of the story is, "It's fun to take a walk in the woods, but you should never try to play with the bears."