Elwood City: A Report

"Elwood City: A Report" is Track 9 of the album Arthur's Really Rockin' Music Mix. It concerns Buster giving a report on the history of Elwood City for Mr. Ratburn's class, which he presents in the form of a song.

Lyrics

Buster

Elwood City is the town I live in. It has a population of 60,000, not counting pets. But if you really wanna know about Elwood City, the important stuff isn't in the encyclopedia. You need someone like me to show you around. Here's some of the stuff you won't find in books.

The mall's real cool

It's all built on silt

Just go to the sales

And watch the place tilt

You wanna hang out?

The Sugar Bowl is cool

It's right by Arthur's, in back of the school

Downtown there's a statue under a tree

I'm not really sure who it's supposed to be

He won a big war or blazed an old trail

Or maybe someone just bought him on sale

Backing Vocalists

My report on Elwood City

Buster

It was founded in something-03

Backing Vocalists

Buster's tour of Elwood City

Buster

Elwood City, it's home to me!

Across from the statue, there's a big dome

I think that it might be the President's home

You can walk in the park and see historic oaks

Or cross to Jack's for hysterical jokes

He's got the best flies and stinkbombs and fake ice

You lookin' for vomit? Can't beat his price!

The chattering teeth, a spider you can wear

A special cushion for somebody's chair

Backing Vocalists

My report on Elwood City

Buster

It was founded in something-03

Backing Vocalists

Buster's tour of Elwood City

Buster

Elwood City, it's home to me!

Those are the places I like the best

But one other place is not like the rest

You can't run around

You can't play bumper pool

Of course you know that I'm referring to school

And just when you're hoping that it's all done

They give you some homework like, say, a ton

Some problems in math or sometimes they'll assign

An oral report like this one of mine

Backing Vocalists

My report on Elwood City

Buster

It was founded in something-03

Backing Vocalists

Let me show you Elwood City

Buster

Elwood City, it's home to me!

Backing Vocalists

That's my tour of Elwood City

Buster

Won't ya' please just give me a C?

Backing Vocalists

Say goodbye to Elwood City

Elwood City, it's home to me!

Mr. Ratburn

That was an interesting report, Buster. I'm giving you a C. But for singing... you get an A.

Buster

Really?! Can I do another one? I'll stay after and work on it. Can you guys stay too?

Backing Vocalists

Uh, uh, um, I don't know, uh... no.