Arthur's Substitute Teacher Trouble/Transcript

(Open on the episode, as the Lakewood Elementary School students leave the building. Arthur and Buster are each carrying a large stack of books.)

Arthur: Our homework for tonight is to read all there is to know about how clouds form. Miss Sweetwater's class is studying clouds too. But their homework is to just look at some clouds.

(Arthur and Buster glance down at Mary and 3rd Grade Male Dog lying on their backs, looking up at the clouds where one of them forms into a shape that looks like an animal.)

3rd Grade Male Dog: (pointing up at the sky, to Mary) It looks like a bunny.

Mary: Yes. It's so cute.

(Back to Arthur and Buster)

Arthur: (to the viewers) That's because our teacher, Mr. Ratburn, is the toughest teacher on Earth.

(Fade to a flashback at the Elwood City Zoo, where Mr. Ratburn and his class have gone on a field trip to.)

Arthur: He turns everything into schoolwork. Even a field trip to the zoo.

(Arthur, Francine, and Muffy are looking at an exhibit of a Galapagos Turtle when Mr. Ratburn walks up next to Francine.)

Mr. Ratburn: Francine, what is the average lifespan of a Galapagos Turtle?

(Francine looks at Muffy for help, but Muffy walks quickly away. Cut to Arthur, Buster, Brain and Mr. Ratburn looking at a rhinoceros.)

Mr. Ratburn: Arthur, what is a rhino's horn made of?

(Arthur looks at the screen, unsure of an answer. Cut to Buster holding an ice cream cone. As Mr. Ratburn walks up to him, Buster gets frightened.)

Mr. Ratburn: Buster, at what temperature does ice cream solidify?

(Buster holds out his ice cream for Arthur to take as he walks up.)

Buster: (to Arthur) Here, I'm suddenly not hungry.

(Fade back to the present, as Arthur and Buster continue to walk through the neighborhood with their stacks of books.)

Arthur: No tougher teacher has been discovered this side of the planet, Neptune.

(Arthur walks over a crack on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, for Buster, he steps into the crack, trips on it, drops his stack of books and slips and falls into a puddle of muddy water.)

Buster: Aw, sometimes I wish Mr. Ratburn would just disappear.

(Intertitle)

ARTHUR'S SUBSTITUTE TEACHER TROUBLE

Writer: Joe Fallon --- Storyboard by: Nadja Cozic

(Pal barks)

Arthur: Hi.

(Come back to the story where we're in Mr. Ratburn's class. Each group of students has a globe at their desks. Mr. Ratburn has one at his desk.)

Mr. Ratburn: Now class... (clears throat) Excuse me, I have a tickle in my throat. Plot to the latitude and longitude of Ulan Bator (clears throat again).

(Arthur looks through the window toward Miss Sweetwater's class.)

Miss Sweetwater: Everyone, close your eyes.

(Her students do so.)

Miss Sweetwater: Now, find your nose.

(Each of her students put their fore-finger up to edge of their nose. Arthur turns back and grabs his forehead, shaking his head. Mr. Ratburn walks up to him.)

Mr. Ratburn: (croaky) Ahem... Arthur, do you have a headache?

Arthur: Do I? (straightens up suddenly) I mean, no.

(The school bell rings and the class begins to leave.)

Mr. Ratburn: After lunch, we'll review last night's math... (clears throat) homework. (He waves the students away.)

(Cut to Mr. Ratburn walking into Mr. Haney's office.)

Mr. Ratburn: (hoarse voice) Mr. Haney, I ---.

Mr. Haney: What is it, man? Speak up.

Mr. Ratburn: I... I can't do... the class, I...

(Mr. Haney turns to look to see three students watching through the open window. He goes to shut it and waves to the students to go away. Mr. Haney returns back to his desk.)

Mr. Haney: Now, what did you say?

(Mr. Ratburn points to his throat as he tries to clear it.)

Mr. Haney: Ratburn, I hate to tell this, but I think you're losing your voice.

(Mr. Ratburn tries to clear his throat once more.)

Mr. Haney: Whatever you wanted to tell me, we'll just have to wait until you're feeling better.

(Cut to Mr. Haney leading Mr. Ratburn's class into the classroom and walks up to the teacher's desk to make an announcement.)

Mr. Haney: Children, I have some bad news.

Buster: (whispering to Arthur) He says we're going to have to go to school all summer, I know it!

Mr. Haney: Mr. Ratburn is ill and will be out for the rest of the week.

(As Mr. Haney begins to leave the classroom, the students fall silent. When Mr. Haney closes the door behind him the students begin to cheer loudly.)

Students: YAY!!!!

(Everything happens in a split-second: Mr. Haney quickly comes back to open the door and gives the class a suspicious look, but they all quickly go silent and have their eyes closed as the look down at their books.)

Mr. Haney: You may use this time to do homework while I arrange for a substitute teacher.

(Mr. Haney leaves the classroom and closes the door again. Binky has drawn a picture of a square-shaped monster with claw-like fingers that is roaring.)

Binky: (growling) RAWWRR!!

Francine: (whispering to Arthur) Do you think the substitute will be Mr. Elkin again?

Arthur: I hope not!

(Flashback)

Arthur: Mr. Elkin, is this right?

Buster Baxter: (the substitute's antlers knock him down) Whoa!

Mr. Elkin: Oh, sorry.

Francine: Ugh.

Buster: (V.O.) Mr. Elkin wasn't as bad as Mrs. Bofini.

(Flashback 2)

Mrs. Bofini: Spell leather.

(The students try to spell leather, but they can't 'cause their substitute teacher is chewing with her mouth open and talking while eating)

Arthur: (V.O.) The WORST substitute teacher was Ms. Tremello!

Buster: Who mumbled everything.

(Flashback 3)

Ms. Tremello: (mumbles)

Buster: What did she say?

Arthur: I dunno. Your ears are bigger than mine.

(Flashback ends)

Arthur: The best of all was Ms. Blank.

Buster: Who?

Francine: Don't you remember Ms. Blank?

(Flashback 4)

Miss Sweetwater: Your substitute teacher, Ms. Blank, is unable to come in, so have fun coloring today. I'll be by later with some snacks.

(End of flashback)

Buster: Ah, Ms. Blank.

(The principal returns)

Buster: Who's our substitute? Ms. Blank?

Mr. Haney: Good news. Your substitute will be Mr. Ratburn's own sister, Miss Ratburn!