The Feud/Transcript

Introduction

The Reads are driving down a road and listening to electronic music on the car radio.

Arthur: Mom, can you change the station?

D.W.: Hey, I like this music!

Arthur: It sounds like noise. (Addressing the viewers) Sometimes it seems like people can argue about anything.

He is shown picking up a bottle of ranch salad dressing in the kitchen of his house.

Arthur: What happened to the blue cheese dressing?

D.W.: We got ranch instead. It's better.

Arthur: Ranch is gross!

D.W. Blue cheese is icky!

Arthur: And of course, eventually, no one will care what the argument was even about. Or will they?

In his imagination, Arthur is an elderly man sitting at the kitchen table of his house with an elderly D.W.

Elderly Arthur: Not ranch dressing again! Even my droid thinks it's gross.

He points to his droid, which is holding a bottle of ranch.

Arthur's droid: (beeps angrily)

Elderly D.W.: Oh, yeah? Well, my droid thinks this.

She points to her droid, which is holding a jug containing water and ice cubes.

D.W.'s droid: (beeps angrily)

Elderly D.W.: That's droid for "icky."

Elderly Arthur: (sighs)

Title Card: Arthur and Buster arguing

At Buster's Condo, Arthur and Buster are playing a Dark Bunny video game together.

Buster: Got you now, Dr. Aardvarkian!

The screen of the TV the video game is being played on is shown, where Dr. Aardvarkian (Arthur's player character) and Dark Bunny (Buster's player character) are racing each other on hoverbikes.

Buster: Aha!

Buster crashes Dark Bunny's hoverbike into the side of Dr. Aardvarkian's, causing him to fly into the window of a building, but this doesn't stop him.

Arthur: Woohoo! Nice try.

Buster: You'll never stop me!

Arthur: Oh, yeah? How about that?

Suddenly, the video game glitches and freezes.

Buster: Hey! What did you just do?

Arthur: The machine froze.

Buster: Nothing's happening.

Buster tries to adjust a cable plugged into the TV.

Arthur: Careful! Don't unplug it!

The TV screen shuts off.

Buster: Huh?

Arthur: Did you do that on purpose?

Buster: You think I would do that on purpose?

Arthur: I just thought since I was winning.

Buster: (scoffs) You were winning?

Arthur: Yeah, I had more bonus points.

Buster: I still hadn't used my mega-leap. That's why you froze the screen on purpose.

Arthur: I wouldn't even know how to do that if I wanted to.

Buster sticks up his nose.

Arthur: I'm leaving!

Arthur is outside walking away from Buster's Condo, and it has stared snowing. He is wearing his winter clothes. He arrives at Lakewood Elementary School, where he sees Buster, as well as Francine, Muffy, George, and Ladonna. Arthur and Buster slowly walk towards each other and then stop to stare angrily at each other.

Muffy: Is that what he told you?

Francine+Muffy+George+Ladonna: (gasps)

They turn to look at Arthur and Buster staring each other down.

Arthur: (exhales determinedly)

Arthur and Buster walk towards each other again, this time until they are staring right into each other's eyes.

Arthur: You froze that on purpose!

Buster: I did not!

Arthur: You knew I was going to win!

Buster: Ha! You couldn't beat me even if you were on level four.

Arthur: I even gave you a better control set.

Buster: You lost!

Arthur: I didn't lose!

Arthur+Buster: Forget it, there's no point talking to you!

They angrily walk towards the school doors.

Muffy: What was that all about?

Arthur is in class, sitting next to Muffy.

Arthur: Buster knew that I had the inside track and that there was no way he could pass me.

The scene shifts to Buster in art class with Francine.

Buster: We've played 100 times, and Arthur's never beaten me.

The scene shifts back to Arthur's class.

Arthur: So guess what he did? He reset the game. On purpose!

Muffy: No!

The scene shifts back to Buster's class.

Buster: He froze the game. On purpose!

Francine: I can't believe it.

The scene shifts to Arthur's class again.

Muffy: (sighs) Some people do things like that when they're losing. Don't worry, Arthur. I'm on your side.

The scene shifts back to Buster's class again, where Francine puts a hand on Buster's shoulder.

Francine: Don't worry, Buster, I've got your back.

Francine and Muffy are in gym class playing basketball.

Muffy: So Buster unplugged the machine so he wouldn't lose.

Francine: That's not what happened. Arthur jammed the machine and then blamed Buster.

Muffy: I don't believe believe that for a second.

Francine: It's just like you to choose sides without hearing the full story.

Francine passes a basketball to Muffy, and it hits her in the stomach.

Muffy: Oomph.

Sue Ellen and Fern are at the library.

Sue Ellen: Can you believe Muffy? She just leapt to conclusions and sided with Arthur.

Fern: What? Francine's the one who leapt to conclusions.

Muffy is walking down a school hallway with Ladonna and Fern.

Muffy: Arthur's been such a good friend to Buster. He really deserves better.

The scene changes to Francine walking the same hallway in the opposite direction with Brain and Sue Ellen.

Francine: If Arthur had just admitted he was wrong, it never would have gotten so out of control.

The two groups pass by each other in the hallway.

Francine+Muffy: (grunt angrily at each other)

Outside the school, the kids are playing in the snow, and Buster walks by them.

Francine: Buster! Over here. This is Team Buster. That's Team Arthur over there.

Francine points to Arthur, Ladonna, Fern, and Muffy.

Buster: Team Arthur?

Francine grabs Buster by the arm and drags him closer to Team Buster.

Francine: Oh, don't worry. Team Buster is just as big. And we're right.

Buster: But why is everyone divided into Team Arthur and Team Buster?

Francine: Well, Arthur cheated when you were playing the Dark Bunny video game, and we all think cheating is wrong. Unlike some people.

Muffy glares angrily at Francine.

Francine: Now, come on!

Muffy: Stay away from our fort!

Francine: You stay away from our fort.

Fern: We were here first.

Francine: That's it! We're building a barricade. Right here.

Francine makes a line in the snow with her foot.

Muffy: Oh, no, you're not! Cause we're building a barricade and we thought of it first.

Muffy makes a line in the snow with her foot inside the line that Francine already made. Francine, Muffy, and Buster walk away from the playground, to Arthur's visible disappointment.

Binky comes into the school cafeteria.

Binky: Why is everyone at separate tables?

Francine: Where have you been?

Binky: I was absent yesterday.

Francine: We're all on Team Buster, because we think Buster won the video game. That's Team Arthur.

Brain: They all think Arthur won... Erroneously, I might add.

Binky: So you won't even have lunch together? Because of a game?

Muffy: You have to pick a side, Binky.

Francine: Muffy's right (for once in her life). Pick a side. Buster or Arthur?

Binky: Hmm... Heads means Buster, tails means Arthur.

Francine: No wait! We want tails.

Muffy: Not a chance. We're tails, and you can't change the rules.

Francine: (angrily) Hmm.

Binky: Just let me flip the coin.

Fern: Wait. The coin has to land on the table.

Sue Ellen: No, Binky has to catch it.

Binky: (groans angrily)

Binky flips the coin, and the other kids stare in anticipation. The coin bounces off the table, and then rolls until its momentum is stopped by Buster's lunchbox, showing heads.

Francine: Heads!

Muffy: It's not flat.

Francine: We won!

Muffy: Redo!

Binky picks the coin up off of the table.

Binky: It's decided. I'm joining... Team Binky.

He goes to sit at a vacant table.

In Arthur's imagination, Dark Bunny is fighting Dr. Aardvarkian.

Dark Bunny: (groans)

Dr. Aardvarkian: I'll finish you, Dark Bunny!

Dark Bunny: Not so fast!

Binky: Will you guys stop fighting? The Lobmonster is destroying the city!

Lobmonster: (roars)

The Lobmonster stomps through the city and destroys a water silo on a rooftop.

Dr. Aardvarkian: This calls for some backup! (whistles)

Supehero lookalikes of Muffy, Fern, and Ladonna show up next to Dr. Aardvarkian.

Dark Bunny: (laughs) Two can play at that game!

Dark Bunny presses a button on his utility belt, causing the emblem on it to light up and project a beam of light with the emblem in the center of it into the sky, summoning superhero lookalikes of Sue Ellen, Brain, and Francine next to him.

Muffy: Let's get 'em!

The superheroes begin fighting each other.

Binky: Guys, the more you fight, the bigger the Lobmonster gets.

Lobmonster: (roars)

The Lobmonster knocks off the top part of a building, sending two pieces of debris flying near Dark Bunny and Dr. Aardvarkian. The Lobmonster then throws a van off-screen.

Dr. Aardvarkian: Maybe he's right. This feud might be a bad idea. (gasps)

The Lobmonster's shadow is cast over Dr. Aardvarkian as it approaches him. It then slams the ground with its claws, sending Dr. Aardvarkian and Dark Bunny flying into space, where a UFO is shown flying by as they fly off-screen.

Dr. Aardvarkian+Dark Bunny: (screams until it fades when they fly off-screen)

Imagination sequence ends.

Arthur is making a window in his snow fortress, when he sees Buster coming.

Arthur: Hey, Buster.

Buster: (chuckles awkwardly) Oh, hey, Arthur. Which fort are we in? Team Arthur or Team Buster?

Arthur: I don't know. I really don't care.

Buster: Yeah, me neither.

He sits down on the wall of the snow fortress and it breaks from his weight, sending him falling backwards.

Buster: Whoa. Yikes, I broke the barricade! My team will be so upset.

Arthur: I think it's fixable.

Arthur puts a box marked with a recycling symbol down on the ground, and he and Buster make snowballs and put them in it.

Arthur and Buster walk into the school cafeteria.

Buster: If you get to level seven, the coins double in value.

Arthur: But how do you get to level seven without finding the burglars' safe?

Buster: Oh, no! I just realized. I don't have any lunch today.

Arthur: Did you leave it at home?

Buster: Nah, I ate it during snack time.

Arthur: My dad packed a gigantic sandwich. You can have half.

Arthur takes the sandwich out of his backpack, causing Francine, who is sitting at a nearby table, to be visibly amazed at its size.

Buster: Cool.

Buster takes the sandwich out of the plastic bag it's in and is about to take a bite out of it, which Brain, Sue Ellen, and Francine stare in awe at.

Francine+Muffy: (gasps)

Arthur and Buster walk past Francine's table, and Buster sits down next to her.

Francine: What are you doing? Accepting food from Arthur?

Arthur: What's wrong with that? He was hungry.

Muffy: Is that what he told you?

Francine: Next time, if you need a sandwich, come to someone on your own team.

Arthur: This feud has gone on too far when I can't offer my friend a grilled-vegetable with goat cheese sandwich.

Arthur sits up from Muffy's table and walks away, and Buster does the same with Francine. Both of them go to Binky's table.

Buster: This is crazy.

Binky: There's got to be something we can do. Guys, we need a plan.

Outside, Brain and Sue Ellen are pushing a large snowball up a snow slope.

Brain: We'll put a storage area here to stockpile snowballs.

Francine rolls a snowball near Muffy.

Muffy: Hey, you're on our side of the barricade!

Francine: I am not!

Arthur: Guys, guys, there's a contest for the best snow fort in Elwood City.

Buster: The mayor's touring all the playgrounds this afternoon.

Binky: The winners get milkshakes at the Sugar Bowl. Look!

He hands Fern a flyer advertising the contest.

Francine: Wow. All right, Team Buster, let's hop to it!

Fern and Francine go off to work on Team Buster's snow fort.

Muffy: No more dawdling, Team Arthur. We're going to win this contest!

Muffy goes off to work on Team Arthur's snow fort.

Arthur: I thought they were all going to work together.

Buster: So much for our plan.

Sue Ellen and Brain are working on Team Buster's fort, which Muffy is watching from Team Arthur's fort.

Muffy: They're building a gigantic row of columns. We need something better.

Meanwhile, Francine is watching the other team work from Team Buster's fort.

Francine: They're building a bridge. We can't let them beat us.

Francine and Sue Ellen make snowballs.

Muffy: You're using our snow!

Francine: You don't own the snow.

Muffy stomps her foot on the ground in anger, causing the ice below her to crack and Team Arthur's snow fort to crumble.

Francine+Sue Ellen+Muffy+Fern+Ladonna: (gasps)

Muffy: You did that on purpose. (angrily) Hmm.

Muffy kicks down one of the columns of Team Buster's snow fort.

Sue Ellen: Hey! What are you doing?

Brain pushes down the wall of Team Arthur's snow fort.

Brain: (grunts)

Fern+Ladonna: (gasps)

Sue Ellen kicks down one of the snow blocks of Team Buster's snow fort, and Ladonna pushes down the wall of the fort.

Ladonna: (grunts)

Muffy: Look what you did! There's no way we can win that contest now.

The camera zooms out to show the wrecked snow forts.

Francine: Well, we're out of the running too, thanks to you.

Brain: Unless we salvage what we can from each fort.

Fern: But that means...

Binky: We'd have to combine them.

Francine: You want us to work with them?

Muffy: That is not happening.

Arthur: It might be our only chance.

Buster: Two forts combined into one. Who knows? It's worth a shot.

Muffy and Francine look at each other and nod in agreement.

All the kids are building the combined fort together; Arthur, Buster, Sue Ellen, and Fern are building the barricades, Brain digs a tunnel while Ladonna is supervising, and they high-five once it's finished; and Francine is carrying Muffy on her back so she can place snow blocks high up. Afterwards, the kids all look at the finished snow fort.

Muffy: It's beautiful.

Francine: Nice arch work. So when is the mayor going to be here?

Buster+Binky+Arthur: Uh...

Brain is holding the contest flyer.

Brain: I might have an answer to that. "Mayor" is spelled incorrectly. And there's a doodle of a wrestler.

The camera zooms in on the flyer to show the misspelled word and the doodle of a wrestler.

Binky: I'm getting good at drawing wrestlers.

Arthur: There is no contest. We made it up.

Sue Ellen: Oh, no!

Muffy: What?

Buster: It was the only way to get you to stop feuding.

Francine: Maybe we got a little carried away.

Muffy: I didn't even want to eat lunch with you.

Francine: But now we've got this fort we all made.

Muffy: Even though it was Team Arthur that did all the hard work.

Francine: What?

Muffy: Kidding! Come on, let's build another archway over here.

Sue Ellen: How about an inside staircase?

Fern: Ooh, a secret room back by the tower.

A time skip of a few months occurs. A butterfly flutters by, and Arthur and Buster are eating an apple and a sandwich respectively, together outside their school in warmer weather.

Arthur: Remember that snow fort we all built here a few months ago when everyone was arguing?

Buster: Oh, yeah!

Both munch on their food.

Buster: Have you noticed how sometimes an argument is like a sandwich?

Arthur: Not really.

Buster: Yeah, me neither. That's why we're such good friends.