Francine Redecorates/Transcript

Francine Frensky: Everyone has their own tastes. Everyone likes something different.

D.W. Read: (singing to Crazy Bus) High as a plane or balloony, slappy, sloopy, gloopy, gloopy...

Muffy Crosswire: Dresses in blue, pink, or lavender. No orange, ever.

Sue Ellen Armstrong: A notebook is useless unless you personalize it!

D.W.: (singing) Happy, hibey, hoopy, whoopy, doopy, doofy, screwy, bluey!

Binky Barnes: Hmmm. Can you come back to me?

D.W.: (singing) Goey, gooey, chewy, flooey!

Binky: Uh... this is hard!

Arthur Read: A few good-

Muffy: (interrupting Arthur) Shoes, shoes, shoes! As many as possible!

Francine: Muffy, you had your turn.

Muffy: (runs toward screen) No! Wait!

D.W.: Fuzzy, wuzzy, busalooney, crazy, glazey, crazy, lazy bus!

Binky: Okay, I got it, I got it! Macaroni and cheese.

Francine: What do I like? That's for me to know, and you to find out.

(Intertitle)

Binky: (V.O.) Francine Redecorates.

Arthur: Will people really buy this stuff?

David Read: That's the beauty of a yard sale, Arthur — one person's trash is another person's treasure.

Arthur: (notices a figure of a clown holding a fish) Ugh! Maybe we should make this buried treasure.

D.W.: Here's more stuff. These things are gonna make us a lot of money.

Arthur: Where'd you get that?

D.W.: Storage.

Arthur: Hey, these are mine! Dad, she's trying to sell stuff from my room.

D.W.: It's worth big money. Besides, you won't even miss it.

Arthur: Put this stuff back right now!

Francine: Cool, a yard sale! Got anything good for 50 cents?

D.W.: Fish finder six, with improved graphics!

Arthur: D.W.!

Jane Read: I'll put this out, but I don't think anyone will be crazy enough to buy it.

David: Hey, our favorite, never-used wedding present.

D.W.: Blegh!

Francine: Wow! It's beautiful! How much is it?

Catherine Frensky: Hi, Fran... (shrieks) What is that?

Francine: An ottoman with build-in foot warmer and TV tray. Arthur's parents were having a yard sale and let me have it for free.

Catherine: No, no, no, no, no, no! This is the last straw! You are not bringing any more revolting junk into this room. First, it was that lamp you got when Tastee Cone went out of business. Then it was that ugly lava alarm clock. And that... reptile! This madness must stop!

Francine: What about your things? Lacy curtains. Lacy, ugly cats. Lacy pillows. Lacy lace!

Catherine: So what if my half is lace-driven? It has a unified theme.

Francine: Yeah, nauseating — that's the theme.

Catherine: You are so ignorant.

Francine: Just wait 'til your feet get cold. Then you'll be sorry.

(In the living room)

Francine: Mom, look! Arthur's parents didn't want this. Can you imagine?

Laverne Frensky: Uh... possibly.

Catherine: I might as well hang a sign on our door: "Toxic taste dump"!

Laverne: Well, what do you think about this? Your room's due for a paint job. New colors will really liven it up!

Francine: Red and purple!

Catherine: Mauve and gray!

Laverne: Everything goes with white.

Francine and Catherine: White?

Laverne: That way, the focus will be on your interior design. If you both come up with ideas, we'll hear them at the family meeting.

(At Muffy's house)

Francine: I figure studying my friends' rooms will give me lots of design ideas. You have a lot of stuff, Muffy...

(In Francine's imagination, she is standing in a room filled with giant furniture.)

Imaginary Francine: Where's my bed?

Francine: (to Muffy) I don't think I could ever make my room look like this.

(At Sue Ellen's house)

Sue Ellen: ...And that's a sacred messenger rock from the Amazon!

Francine: Wow!

(Francine imagines swinging across a vine, shouting like Tarzan. She lands on a rock bed.)

Imaginary Francine: Oof. Ow!

Francine: (to Sue Ellen) The exotic look really isn't me.

(At Fern's house)

Francine: This just isn't my style, Fern.

Fern Walters: It's not my style, either. It's my mom's style. (she grabs a book and shows Francine a page. The page shows a room that is very dark and gloomy.) This is my style.

(Francine imagines walking in and sitting in a chair while ominous music plays. She lets out a relaxing sigh.)

(At Francine's apartment)

Oliver Frensky: We will now hear ideas for the Frensky Room Redecorating Project. Francine?

Francine: (places a paper on the table) Ta-da! (the paper reads "Francine's room." The room pictured has two bats, a spider lamp, a bed, and a basketball hoop.)

Oliver: Excellent! You can shoot hoops from your bed.

Catherine: Disgusting! It's disgusting! And where's my bed?

Francine: (points to a small block outside the pictured room) Right here.

Laverne: What have you got, Catherine?

Catherine: Well, I have something we can all live with. Volia! (her paper shows a room covered in plants and flowers, with a grandfather clock against the wall.)

Francine: Where's my bed?

Catherine: (points to the clock) This converts to a cot.

Francine: I can't sleep in a clock! I guess it doesn't matter; those ugly flowers will keep me up all night!

Oliver: Wait a minute, I've got it! I have a brilliant idea! You girls take all your ideas and put them together into one fantastic room?

Catherine: (points to Francine) Lower myself to her level? (sarcastically) Please!

Francine: All my other friends have their own rooms. No one has to share with some crazy frillanoid!

Catherine: You think I like it any more than you do? I'd move in a minute!

Francine: So would I! I'll move!

Catherine: I said it first! I'm moving!

Laverne: Where?

(Catherine gets her own area of the living room. It is behind a curtain. She has a bed, a chair, a desk, and two pillows.)

Catherine: I love it! It's like having a loft!

(Francine sighs.)

Laverne: Honey, you can't live in the living room if your bedtime is at nine.

Oliver: And now you have the bedroom all to yourself!

(Catherine puts a small lace tablecloth on the table.)

Laverne: Catherine, the table isn't part of your room.

Catherine: It's shared space, mother. It needs a unifying theme!

Francine: See? She's like bacteria from a space meteorite! She spreads everywhere! (zombie-like) "Lace! I need lace!" (Francine enters her own room. It is nearly empty.) Hello! (Her "Hello" echoes. Francine moves her furniture around the room, but can't find a way to make it look right. She groans. Cut to her playing basketball in Arthur's yard.)

Arthur: Wow, your own bedroom? It's like your sister's out of the house.

D.W.: You guys are lucky, I still have to share my room.

(Fade in to D.W.'s imagination.)

Jane: Turning the garage into your bedroom is an excellent idea, D.W.!

David: Now Kate won't bother you.

D.W.: Finally, I have room for all my friends to come visit. (Two ponies, Walter, and Mary Moo Cow are in her room.) Door! (She runs to a device with a screen, and tunes it.) What do you want, Arthur?

Arthur: Do you have any cake?

D.W.: No, now go away!

(Arthur screams as he falls down a trap door. Fade back in to Arthur's yard.)

Francine: But the room doesn't look right. It seems kind of empty.

Arthur: Maybe you just need more stuff.

(At the dump)

Oliver: If you see anything you like, call me and I'll give you a hand.

(Francine pulls out a crooked picture frame and holds it in front of her face. She finds a white teapot with a flower pattern.)

Francine: Great. All I find is something Catherine would like! There's nothing that's "me"! Wait a minute... (she pulls out a ring with fake bats attached to strings) Wow!

(At Francine's apartment)

Catherine: What on Earth is that?

Francine: Uh, it's a bat mobile.

Catherine: I am so glad I don't have to deal with this anymore. I am going to my room. (she pulls the curtain) Ah, privacy.

(Francine is in bed, watching her bat mobile spin. She turns off the light and falls asleep. In her dream, the bats form different patterns.)

Dream Francine: They're so talented! (A bat swoops down at her. She hides under her covers and screams.) Catherine! A bat! Help!

Bat: I'm so glad you don't share a room, Francine. (It laughs. Francine screams, and then wakes up.)

Francine: (panting) It was just a nightmare! (Francine and Catherine are carrying bags. They bump into each other.)

Francine and Catherine: Oh!

Catherine: I know your room's kind of empty, so I brought you something.    

Francine: (holding the figure of a clown holding a fish that was at Arthur's garage sale) This is super.  I got something for you, too.

Catherine: (holding the teapot from the dump) Oh, this is beautiful! I'll have to put it... somewhere.

Francine: Maybe you could put it in your room... um, your real room.

Catherine: You mean it?

Francine: Having my own room isn't as fun as I thought it would be.

Catherine: Well, to be honest, a loft isn't as glamorous as I thought it would be. The walls are so thin.

Francine: Want to do some moving?

Oliver and Laverne: What?

Catherine: We combined our decorative resources.

Francine: Too bad you didn't think of that.

(Francine's friends are in her room)

Sue Ellen: What a great room, Francine.

Muffy: Catherine has such neat stuff.

Fern: I wish I had an older sister, too. You're so lucky, Francine.

Francine: Yeah, I am.

Catherine: (in distance) Feet off the furniture!

(Fern, Sue Ellen, Muffy, and Francine laugh. The episode ends.)