Tales from the Crib/Transcript

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The intro spoofs “MTV Cribs”.

Announcer: Baby Cribz - the show that dares to take you where no one else will go - behind bars!

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(Title Card)

Tales from the Crib

Written by: Jonathan Greenberg --- Storyboard by: Julian Harris and Robert Yap

Francine Frensky: (voice-over) Tales from the Crib.

(Back to the story)

D.W. Read: Oops! I just pulled the head off your Snowboard Kristi Doll. Sorry.

Vicita Molina: That's okay. I have a Secret Agent Kristi Doll upstairs.

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D.W. tells the story of how she got her first big girl bed.

D.W.: So I told my parents, no more of this baby stuff. I want my bed and I want it now.

Tommy: That was dumb.

Timmy: Yeah, I'd never sleep in a bed.

D.W.: Why not?

Tommy+Timmy: Arachnar... lord of the spider people!

D.W.: Who?

Timmy: He's half-man, half-spider and he eats children.

Tommy: He can't reach his tentacles through the bars of a crib, but kids in beds are easy picking. He climbs up the side and crawls under the sheets!

D.W.: Wait a sec! If he's half-man, half-spider, why does he have tentacles?

Timmy: Uh...he's half-octopus too.

Tommy: And half-Tyrannosaurus Rex.

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Vicita: Yikes, that sounds scary.

D.W.: Oh, Vicita. They were just trying to scare me! Arachnar's just an Irving Legend. [urban legend]

Vicita: A what?

D.W.: An Irving legend. It's the kind of story your uncle Irving tells. It's' really scary, but it never actually happened.

Vicita: I don't have an Uncle Irving.

D.W.: There is no Uncle Irving, Vicita, he's an Irving legend too!

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In another flashback, little D.W. climbs into her parents’ bed.

Mrs. Read: Sure is nice how easily D.W. took to her new bed.

Mr. Read: Oh, what a relief, huh?

D.W.: You said it.      Mr. Read stares.

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Vicita: Weren't you scared, DW? Getting out of bed like that? What if the robbers got you?

D.W.: Vicita, there were no robbers. That was just Arthur being a scaredy-cat.

Vicita: Well, what if Uncle Irving got you?

D.W.: There IS no Uncle Irving!

Vicita: I bet that's because the robbers got him.