Grandpa Dave's Memory Album/Transcript

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Bubby: Hello, boys and girls. What a beautiful day this is! It makes you feel like singing. But don't worry, I won't, I'll spare you.
Ugh, look at this room. Hold on, I'll be right back. I know you all tuned in to see my granddaughter Francine and her friends, but first I want to talk to you a little about getting old. Getting old, kids, is wonderful. There are a few little annoyances. The knees don't work so well. When I was your age, I could jump over this table. Now, if I drop a cookie, it stays on the floor. Big deal, the dog will eat it.And my ears aren't so good. I don't hear half the things that people say to me. And the other half, you want to know?
I just ignore. Why? Because I've heard most of it before. "I'm fat, I'm broke, why isn't there anything good on TV?" Please! You are alive! Stop complaining! And then there's all those little aches and pains. Some days, this pinky—it hurts.
Other days, it's my tongue. Go figure. But there are great things, too. First of all, it's cheaper to ride the bus, yeah. And anytime can be naptime, especially if someone is boring you to tears. And you know the best part? You still make new friends.
Anyhow, I wanted to share with you the story of my new friend.
You are never going to guess who it is, so I'm just going to tell you. Okay, are you ready? My new friend is... What? We're out of time already? I was talking too much? Okay, fine. Children, darlings, it is time for the show. So you'll watch, you'll enjoy, goodbye for now.
Yeah, bye-bye. Will someone please tell me what was the rush? At this age I only have two speeds: Slow and stop. It's public television. Why don't we all just stop and smell the roses? Has anyone got a rose?

Bubby: Are you all right, darling? Why are you standing? All the blood will rush to your feet. Sit down. How many fingers do I have?
Arthur: Two.
Bubby: Actually, I have ten. Last time I checked. Anyhow, you seem okay, darling. A little thin. Gonna talk to your mother.
Francine : Hey, Arthur. You've met my Grandma Bubby, right?
Bubby: Sure, we're old friends. You had the pizza thing when Frankeleh was trying to fast for Yom Kippur, remember? Frankly, I still don't know why you didn't change the date. I mean, how hard could that have been?