D.W. Blows the Whistle/Transcript

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A fantasy shows Arthur and Brain racing a rallye car against Francine and Muffy. A policeman on a motorbike stops them right before the finish, while the girls’ car rushes past. The cop turns out to be D.W.

D.W.: No turn signals, license plate not visible and these big numbers create a distraction.

Arthur: But this is a race course!     

Cut to Arthur and Brain in a cell.

D.W.: And obstructing justice!          She walks away. Brain looks at a skeleton in the cell.

Brain: I never knew your sister was so strict.

Arthur: Sometimes D.W. gets a little carried away.

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Mrs. Read: How’s the car coming?

Arthur: Almost done.

Brain: It’s been designed for maximum speed and calibrated for low wind resistance and surface friction.

D.W.: You call that a car? It looks more like a pile of junk on wheels.

Arthur: Who asked you??

Mrs. Read: Arthur, D.W., please.   D.W. blows her whistle.

D.W.: Mom, that car is not safe. It doesn’t have any seatbelts.

Arthur: What??

Mrs. Read: I hate to say it, Arthur, but D.W. has a point. It would probably be safer if you put some seat belts in it.

Arthur: But… we’re almost done!

Brain: She’s right. The design probably could benefit from some sort of additional biomechanical restraint system.

D.W.: Better safe than sorry. That’s what I always say.

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Arthur is in the bathtub. He hears D.W. blowing her whistle and criticizing the general lack of safety measures.

D.W.: Arthur! Pal just went down the stairs without holding on to the handrail.

Arthur: How could Pal use the handrail?? He doesn’t even have hands!   D.W. comes in.     Hey!

D.W.: Mom! Dad! Arthur is taking a bath without using a personal flotation device!

Mr.+Mrs. Read: D.W.!

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(It's the day of the soapbox car race)

Muffy Crosswire: What is she doing here?

Francine Frensky: Are you nuts? She'll ruin everything!

Arthur Read: Mom and Dad made me bring her!

Francine: Well, if I hear that whistle, she's going to be one sorry little tattletale!

D.W. Read: Wow! That hill's kinda steep!

Arthur: D.W., just go over there and sit down and stay out of our way!

D.W.: You're not the boss of me, Arthur Read! I can do whatever I want!

(Ratburn walks up on the podium)

Nigel Ratburn: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Ratburn Rally! It looks like we have quite a few creative cars here today, so without further ado, let the races begin!

(crowd cheering)

Mr. Ratburn: Will the first two racers please approach the starting line?

D.W.: I can't see! How can I tell if people are safe if they can't see? (she climbs a tall pine tree; the race begins)

Whoa-aaah!

(A wheel comes off a soapbox plane, and the crowd gasps. Up in the tree, D.W. drops her whistle.)

D.W.: ARTHUR, HELP!

Francine: Arthur, look! It's your sister!

Arthur: D.W.?!

D.W.: HELP! I CAN'T GET DOWN!

Arthur: Hang on, D.W.!

Muffy: I'll go get Mr. Ratburn!

D.W.: ARTHUR, I'M SCARED!

Arthur: Don't worry! We'll get you down! Muffy's gone for help. Just hang on. Don't move!

Officer Safety: You're quite a talented climber. What do you say we get you down to safety now?

(crowd cheering)

Arthur: D.W., are you all right?

Officer Safety: You didn't by any chance drop this, did you?

D.W.: My whistle!

Officer Safety: Be safe now!

Dad: Hey guys, what's all this commotion about?

Arthur: Oh, some girl got stuck up in the tree. It was no big deal.

Mom: I hope she's all right!

D.W.: (whimpering) IT WAS ME! I WAS THE ONE IN THE TREE. I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE CLIMBED THAT HIGH, BUT I DID! I'M SORRY.

Mom: Oh, D.W., are you okay? Why did you ever do something so dangerous?

Arthur: Well, it was my fault, too. I told her to go away.

Mom: You both know better. Thank goodness you're all right.

Mr. Ratburn: Next up, Arthur and the Brain vs. Muffy and Francine!

Arthur: Uh-oh. I'm up.

D.W.: (gasping) ARTHUR! (she whispers in his ear)

Arthur: Thanks! I almost forgot!

(the race begins again)