D.W., Dancing Queen/Transcript

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Arthur: What about Binky. I wonder what kind of teacher he’d be.    

Fantasy of Binky teaching.

Binky: Seventeen times twelve is… d’oh… d’oh… Oh forget it! Everybody knows I’d be a lousy teacher. Even in a fantasy.

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As part of a project day, the preschoolers are in Lakewood Elementary.

Binky: Oh no, I remember it from last year. I think it’s one of the reasons I’m still in third grade.

Arthur: Well, at least you didn't have a little sister around to embarrass you!   

D.W. is talking to a group of preschoolers and elementary students.

D.W.: And then Arthur kept having nightmares about his underwear!

Arthur: Hh!

Buster: Cheer up. At least it can't get any worse.

D.W.: Look, I brought a visual aid.    She takes out a pair of Arthur’s underpants.

Kids: (laugh)

Arthur: Aaaaa.

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Binky: Em. So, what kind of things do you like?

D.W.: Unicorns. Pink ones.

Binky: Uh-huh. Do you also like professional wrestling?

D.W.: I like ponies.

Binky: What about Hannibal the Head Masher?

D.W.: Ponies with pretty manes you can brush.

Binky: Brutus the Bone Crusher? He's my favorite.

D.W.: Did I mention rainbows? Love rainbows.

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D.W.: You have to do what I want or you'll get an F!

Binky: Oh yeah? Well, if you don’t do what I want YOU'LL get an F!

D.W.: I'm in preschool! We don't have grades!

In his imagination, Binky is dressed as a unicorn and D.W. rides him.

D.W.: Giddy-up, Mr. Daffodil! We're late for the Strawberry Parade! Faster, boy!

Kids: (laugh)   

Fantasy ends.

Binky: Forget it! I'll take the F!

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Binky shows up at the Read house dressed as a teacher. D.W. opens the door.

Binky: You’re late, Miss Read.

D.W.: How can I be late? This is my house!

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Binky Barnes: Nice pirouette, but try fixing your eyes on one spot. It helps with the dizziness. Like this. (he demonstrates, but then he falls on the floor and hurts his ankle)

Binky: Oh, my ankle!

D.W. Read: What's wrong?

Binky: I think I may have twisted it!

D.W.: What? But our project is tomorrow! What are we gonna do?!

(on stage)

Tommy Tibble: And then the monster trucks crush the puny little cars!

(he and Timmy crash into Arthur and Buster)

Older Boys: (groan in pain) Ouch.

Binky: Just remember what we've practiced. You'll do fine.

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Binky: Always remember, kid - dancing comes from inside you. You gotta listen to your heart. Listen to the beat. Listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street.

D.W.: Okay. I will. Hey, did you just make that up?

Binky: No, I heard it somewhere. But I can’t remember where.