The Good Sport (episode)/Transcript

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D.W.: Arthur, I think that's...   Hey, aren't you the girl who does that toothpaste commercial? (sings:) „It's not just for brushing, it's toothpaste you can eat. It's for...“

Michelle Kwan: No, sorry, I'm a figure skater.

D.W.: It figures. I never meet anybody famous.

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Francine: How could you?

Mr. Haney: Making choices is never easy, Miss Frensky.

Francine: Mr. Haney, I'm the captain of the softball team, the captain of the hockey team, the captain of my temple's basketball team, and the only person who can sit on Binky's head. I should have won that award.

Mr. Haney: You are a remarkable athlete, but Jenna excels at some of the sports you don't play.

Francine: What don't I play?

Mr. Haney: Well, Jenna's a very good skier. She's also the co-captain of the badmington team.

Francine: Badmington? That's for wusses.

Mr. Haney: Jenna also takes the time to help others. She coaches peewee soccer and manages the wheelchair basketball team, and the faculty unanimously decided that she was the...

Cut to Muffy's room where Francine is crying on the bed.

Francine: ...best representative of the athletic ideal.

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Francine: I just want to say that this honor is like the biggest award a person could get – or not get, if you know what I mean. A lot of people are saying „Gee, Francine, how come you didn't get it, because you're like the captain of everything“, but what I say is „Hey, Jenna does some sports stuff too, like she's pretty good at... what's that thing called? Oh yeah, Badmington.“ I don't wanna...

Mr. Ratburn: Thank you, Francine. I think we've had enough festivity for one morning, so I suggest we get down to our math.

Francine: I'm not finished.

Mr. Ratburn: Oh, I think you are. Page two-forty-three everybody.

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Arthur: You know, I'm not sure Jenna likes all this attention.

Francine: Well, she'd better learn to like it. She's athlete of the year, remember? Come on, Muffy.

Buster: Is it just me or is Francine getting nicer?

Arthur: It's you.

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Francine and Muffy are hanging up posters for a new party.

Jenna: Oh no.    Stop it! Stop giving me all these stupid parties!   She runs into the girls' room.

Muffy: Well, I'm going to give that girl a piece of my mind.

Muffy goes into the girls' room, leaving red paint footprints on the floor. Jenna is crying.

Muffy: You can hurt my feelings all you want, oh yes, I don't mind, but when it comes to Francine...

Jenna: Muffy, please, just...

Muffy: You should be grateful you got that award. It was Francine who deserved it.

Jenna: Don't you think I know that? Everyone thinks Francine should have won. Does she have to rub it in?   

Jenna runs out crying, passing Francine at the door.

Francine: Oh, sorry, I...    Muffy comes out of the girls' room.

Muffy: I certainly told her.

Francine: Oh, stuff it, Muffy!    She walks away.

Muffy:Well!

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Francine: (reading an autographed poster) "To Francine Frensky, the best hockey player at Lakewood Elementary. Love, Michelle Kwan." (to Jenna) Is this from you?

Jenna: Uh huh. I told Michelle all about you. How you're a really great athlete.

Francine: I forgot to say something to you. Congratulations. I may be a good athlete, but you're a great sport, although I still think badminton is kind of wussy.

Jenna: That's okay. I think hockey is kinda dumb.

(both giggle)

Buster: Jenna! I saw you on TV!

(students chattering)