Based on a True Story/Transcript

Opening

A blank studio-like room is shown; Arthur walks in.

Arthur Read: Hi! Today I want to introduce you to a new friend of mine. Her name is...

Ladonna Compson appears from the bottom of the screen, covering Arthur.

Ladonna Compson: Hey! Ladonna Compson here. Nice to meet you!

Arthur moves over and appears unhappy.

Ladonna: Today's show has everything in it. Adventures, jokes, alligators...

The camera flips to show the other direction, and is behind Arthur.

Ladonna: ...dinosaurs, tigers...

Arthur (cutting Ladonna off): Wait a minute. There are no tigers in this show.

Ladonna: Oh, yeah? What do you call this?

Ladonna is wearing a tiger puppet on her right hand. She roars like a tiger.

Arthur: A hand puppet?

Ladonna: (takes off tiger puppet) Well, okay. You got me there. But there is the world's smartest, most handsome white rat named General Higgins! See?

A white rat appears on Ladonna's shoulder and hops off. Pal is seen sniffing.

Arthur: Come to think of it, there aren't any dinosaurs in this story, either.

Ladonna: Are so! (holds out her right pinky) Want to pinky bet?

Ladonna and Arthur link their right pinkies.

Arthur: Winner gets to wrap up the show.

Ladonna: You're on! See you at the end of the show.

Arthur (to audience): Don't count on it.

A cracking sound is heard.

Arthur: Ow! How do you get such strong pinkies?

Part One

Muffy (reading the title): Based on a True Story.

The scene fades to a camper truck honking its horn. Ladonna is in the front yard of her house, but she is about to move to a new place.

Ladonna: Coming! (hugs the biggest tree in the front yard, with the letter "L" carved into its trunk) Bye, Oaksie! You were the best tree in the whole yard. Sorry I carved an "L" into you. (looking in the other direction) Goodbye, rusty rake! Goodbye, mossy rock! Goodbye, tree that looks like a scarecrow! Goodbye, gopher hole! (runs to the camper truck)

Bud Compson (peeking out a window on the RV): I get to sit by the window and so does Rapty, and you have to help me practice the harmonica because Daddy said so.

Ladonna: (opens camper truck window and sighs) Hello, 16-hour drive.

The camper truck starts moving. It travels along a rural road alongside farm fields, through a city-center street, near a suspension bridge with a city skyline in the background, through the countryside at night, then the camper enters Elwood City. It travels along a central Elwood City street (where it is winter), passing by Brain's Ice Cream Shop, then the Sugar Bowl, before finally arriving at a house. A Fallon & Son Movers moving van arrived at the house before the camper.

Later, Arthur and D.W. are walking down the street with a gift for the new residents.

D.W. Read: They live right down the block, and we want them to like us, so you better let me do the talking.

Arthur and D.W. walk up to the front door of the house where the new residents moved in. The doorbell sounds; Ladonna answers the door.

D.W.: Hi! I'm D.W., your four-houses-down-the-block neighbor. Pleased to meet you! Do you have a little sister?

Ladonna: I'm Ladonna! Nice to meet you, too.

Ladonna invites Arthur and D.W. in; she closes the door.

Ladonna: No younger sisters, but there's Bud. He's about your age.

Ladonna (yelling upstairs): Bud, get down here! We've got company!

Arthur: Hi. I'm Arthur. Welcome to the neighborhood.

Ladonna: (accepts gift) Thanks! Is it a cake? I love cake. My favorite kind of cake is king cake. It's got cinnamon and icing and a little baby inside! Not a real one, of course. A plastic one.

D.W. quietly gasps as Ladonna mentions the plastic baby.

Ladonna: Once my brother Gussie bit into a slice and chipped a molar on it. (giggles) Cross my heart. But I've never seen king cake outside Louisiana.

Arthur: It's a pie. Rhubarb, I think. My dad made it.

Ladonna: (sniffs the box) Smells amazing! (yelling into the distance) Hey, Mom! Someone named Arthur and D.W. just brought us a rhubarb pie.

Ladonna (to Arthur and D.W.): What's rhubarb anyway? A root? A berry? A tuber? I'm sure I'll like it, whatever it is. My daddy says I'm a garbage disposal with legs. I eat everything. Except beets, I can't stand beets. If I even look at a beet, my stomach starts jumping like a toad on a pogo stick. (giggles) Want to come in and have some sweet tea?

Ladonna (yelling into the distance): Madison, make some sweet tea!

Arthur and D.W. hesitate a little.

Ladonna: Well, you gonna come in? Or we could go outside! I love exploring in the woods. Are there any woods to explore around here?

Arthur: Huh? Oh, yeah! Plenty of them. But we were on our way to my grandma's. Maybe later?

Ladonna: Oh, okay. Sure. Well, don't be a stranger, four-houses-down neighbors. (opens front door to let Arthur and D.W. out) Thanks for the pie.

Ladonna closes the door to find Bud suddenly standing next to her. She gasps in a surprised manner.

Bud: You talked too much and scared 'em away, didn't you?

Ladonna: What?! No, I didn't.

Bud: Did so. (points to a particular location) I was spying right over there, and your mouth didn't stop moving once.

Ladonna (annoyed): You shouldn't spy. It's against the law.

Ladonna walks away.

Bud: Well, it was Rapty's idea, so it's only half my fault.

Bud (to Rapty, his stuffed dinosaur): Bad dinosaur! You're going to jail.

In the kitchen, Ladonna takes her pet white rat out of its glass-box home and gently puts the rat on her left shoulder.

Ladonna: Anyway, they seemed nice. I hope they did like me.

Bud walks into the kitchen.

Ladonna (worried): We're going to need some new friends here.

Bud: Don't worry about me. Everyone likes me 'cause I'm cute, funny, and can make good animal noises. But you might want to try and be just a little less... Ladonna-ish. Just until they get used to you.

Ladonna sighs. The scene cuts to Mr. Haney introducing Ladonna to her classmates.

Mr. Haney: I'd like you to meet your new classmate, Ladonna Compson.

In Mr. Ratburn's class, most kids just stare at Ladonna, making Ladonna feel nervous. Arthur is nicer than that, though.

Arthur (in the distance): Hey! Over here!

Arthur shows Ladonna a seat he saved for her.

Arthur: I saved you a seat.

Ladonna smiles and walks toward the seat. The scene cuts to the kids having lunch in the cafeteria. Arthur, Buster, and Francine sit with Ladonna.

Francine: You have a really cool accent. Where are you from?

Ladonna: Louisiana.

Buster: "Ladonna". Is that short for something?

Ladonna: Nope.

Francine: Do you play basketball? We could really use someone your height on our team.

Ladonna: I'm not very good.

Buster: Do you like Dark Bunny?

Ladonna: I haven't met him yet. Is he in our class?

Arthur: He's a superhero on TV.

Ladonna: Oh, we don't have a TV.

Buster is so surprised at Ladonna having no TV that he chokes on his food, but quickly recovers with Arthur helping him.

Ladonna: Well, we did have one once, but we gave it away to the alligator sanctuary.

Francine: Alligator sanctuary?

Ladonna: Yeah. It's where they rescue alligators and other lizards that have been abandoned. My brother Gussie was working there one summer, and there was this one gator named Penny, and she was kind of grumpy, and no one could figure out why. But TV really calmed her down, so my daddy... This is really boring, isn't it?

Arthur, Buster, and Francine all disagree that is is boring; replying with a cacophony of "What?", "Come on", and "No way!"

Ladonna: Well, they put the TV right outside Penny's enclosure.

A flashback begins; the scene cuts to Gussie, Ladonna's older brother, sitting just outside the alligator enclosure, where an alligator is watching TV.

Ladonna (narrating): Turned out that she really liked this one soap opera.

Man in TV: I have something to confess to you. I'm not Sheldon.

Woman in TV: You're not?

Man: I'm Shelby, Sheldon's twin. I should have told you sooner, Karen.

Woman: I'm not Karen, I'm Kara.

Gussie changes the channel. A Crosswire Motors commercial with Mr. Crosswire dressed in a duck costume is seen. Penny roars, causing Gussie to fiddle with the remote and change the channel back to the soap opera.

Kara: Karen's my undercover name.

Ladonna (narrating): Then Penny had all these alligator babies, and they really liked the soap, too.

The scene transitions to Penny watching the soap opera with her alligator babies.

Ladonna (narrating): But my younger brother Bud was upset, 'cause we didn't have a TV, and everyone else did. So he made my daddy take it back.

The camera slides over to the left, showing that the TV is gone. The scene then cuts to Ladonna's old house in Louisiana.

Ladonna (narrating): But then Madison was home sick one day, and there was nothing to watch.

Inside the living room of Ladonna's old house, Madison, Ladonna's older sister, is lying down on the couch in front of the TV.

Ladonna (narrating): So she started watching that soap, and she had it on really loud, because her ears were stuffy, and when it was over, she discovered that she wasn't alone...

Madison picks up what she thinks is the TV remote, but is in fact a baby alligator. She presses on it, thinking that she is pressing TV remote buttons, and discovers the baby alligator. This causes Madison to drop the alligator in panic, scream, and run out of the house while screaming. The flashback ends; Jenna, Binky, Muffy, George, and the Brain are all near Ladonna, to hear the story.

Ladonna: After that, we gave the TV to the alligator sanctuary for good.

Brain: You had a carnivorous reptile in your house?

Buster: Brain, it was an alligator. Haven't you been listening?

Muffy gasps; the camera zooms out to see Mr. Ratburn waiting for the kids to finish their story.

Muffy: Did you keep him? You know, alligator oil is a fabulous moisturizer.

Mr. Ratburn: (clears throat while looking at his watch) I believe History follows lunch. Not story time.

The scene fades to the kids leaving the cafeteria to return to class. Kids fight for Ladonna's attention.

Francine: (giggles) I have an older sister, too. Do you guys have to share a room?

Muffy: After school, you and me. The mall. Big sale on glitter headbands.

Buster: Don't tell anyone, but I have a coupon for Gregerson's all-you-can-eat buffet. We can have thirds! Fourths! They can't stop us!

Ladonna smiles as she returns to class. The scene cuts to Brain's Ice Cream Shop, where Ladonna is telling a story to the friends from Mr. Ratburn's class.

Ladonna: But the largest crab I ever caught was as big as a pizza. Cross my heart.

The scene fades to Ladonna telling a story to the Tough Customers.

Ladonna: And he had a hook instead of a hand, but he could do anything with it, even thread a needle.

Ladonna is standing next to Arthur, who is preparing a snowball, when a snowball hits Arthur. Buster and Francine laugh. Muffy, who is behind Buster, stuffs a snowball in Buster's hood, causing him to scream in shock. The scene fades back to the Ice Cream Shop, where Ladonna, Buster, and Francine are sitting at the counter seats. Ladonna is telling a story.

Ladonna: And my mama played in that band til she was 25, but got so broke she had to sell her trumpet. But then this soldier bought it back, and that was my daddy, Captain Rufus Tucker Compson.

Buster licks his partially-melted ice cream. Ladonna is now seen riding in Muffy's limousine with the windows open, and the wind blowing Muffy and Ladonna's hair while the two are laughing. The scene fades to Bud making a strange sound in his house.

D.W.: What was that?

Bud: A whale!

D.W.: Really? It sounded like our car just before it died. Listen to this.

D.W. makes a "cock-a-doodle-doo" rooster sound.

Bud: That's the best rooster I've ever heard.

D.W.: Thanks! Keep practicing. (opens door to leave) See ya!

D.W. closes the door; the scene transitions to the Compsons' kitchen.

Bud (disappointed): She didn't like my whale. Didn't like my pig sound, either. Said it was too oinky, not like a real pig.

Ladonna: These things take time, Bud. We've only been here a week. You can't expect to have friends overnight.

Bud: Why not? You've got friends already. You're not paying them, are you?

Ladonna: Of course not! They like me because I tell great stories.

Bud: Well, what happens when you run out of stories?

Ladonna: (giggles) Me? Run out of stories?! Please! The Atlantic Ocean will dry up before that ever happens!

Back at the playground, Ladonna is telling a story.

Ladonna: But Gussie's face was so red and swollen, he decided to wear a mask to school. That's how he became known as...

Buster (cutting off Ladonna): The Phantom of the Poison Ivy.

Ladonna: How'd you know that?

Arthur: You already told us that story.

Ladonna: Well, how 'bout this one? Once, I heard this mysterious sound coming from somewhere in our walls. First, I thought it was a ghost, but...

Arthur (cutting off Ladonna): It turned out a barn owl had made a nest in your chimney.

Buster: You told us that one twice. But I love it! Especially when the owl lays an egg in Madison's hat.

Arthur: (giggles while helping Buster up from his upside-down position) Hey, did you see Dark Bunny last night?

Buster: (gasps) Wasn't it amazing? I was so surprised by that ending.

Arthur: And who knew Bionic Bunny's real name is Sue?

Ladonna imagines a giant hand pulling out a bathtub drain in front of the Statue of Liberty; the surrounding water drains out.

Arthur: And then when that guy turned out to be a mutant...

Ladonna starts leaving; Arthur notices.

Arthur (to Ladonna): Hey! Where are you going? (Ladonna slides down the playground slide) There's still five minutes of recess left.

Ladonna: Huh? Oh, I, uh, just have to get my, my mittens. (showing her bare hands) Yeah. They're in my locker.

Arthur and Buster look concerned. Late at night, Ladonna imagines going up the cafeteria table where Arthur, Buster, Brain, and Francine are sitting. Francine nudges Brain, while Arthur and Buster turn around to see Ladonna coming towards their table.

Buster: Hey Ladonna! Got any stories for us today?

Ladonna (hesitantly): Um... no.

Ladonna tries to sit at the table, but Arthur stops her.

Arthur: Actually, it's a little crowded here. Why don't you sit over there?

Arthur points towards Ladonna's left (his right); she looks to her left to see a stool in the middle of a desert in a wind storm with tumbleweed blowing in the wind. A crow caws. Ladonna wakes up from her dream.

Ladonna turns on a light in her room, and she is seen writing on a notepad. The notes say, "Tell you the story of how we had a bear as a pet camping with Dad at Mt. Driscoll[sic]"; "Enormous grisly[sic] bear"; "Roaring"; "We thought we were goners"; and "Ran to edge of cliff".

She starts writing "We're trap..." as the scene cuts to Ladonna walking towards the cafeteria seating area, with the story written down on a piece of paper she is holding. Buster laughs, offscreen, as Ladonna makes her way towards her friends.

Ladonna: Did I ever tell you about the time we had a bear as a pet?

The friends talk over each other; Buster says something among the chatter.

Buster: You have to tell us!

Ladonna: Once, my daddy and I were alone on this camping trip around Mount Driskill in Louisiana, and we came across this ginormous grizzly bear, who was roarin' its lungs out like this: (roars) And we thought, we were goners for sure, but then...

Brain (cutting off Ladonna): Wait! There are no grizzly bears in Louisiana. The ursus arctos horribilis, or grizzly bear, lives out west in places like the Rockies and British Columbia.

Ladonna: Well, I... I guess this one just got lost. Anyway, Madison fed him some uh, some pizza, and...

Buster (cutting off Ladonna): I thought you said it was just you and your dad on the trip.

Ladonna: I did? No, no, no. She was there, too.

Francine (suspiciously): Is this story true?

Ladonna: Maybe I fibbed in a few parts, just to make it a little bit more exciting.

Francine: (crossing her arms) Which parts?

Ladonna: Well, the part about the bear, for one.

Buster: What about your other stories? (gets suspicious) Were they lies, too?

Ladonna: No, they weren't! Cross my heart!

Francine: I don't believe you! (leaves the table)

Buster: (leaving the table) I bet you don't even have mittens!

Brain also leaves the table.

Ladonna: Arthur, I just lied this one time! You believe me, don't you?

Arthur: I don't know what to think anymore.

Arthur leaves the table, leaving Ladonna by herself.

End of Part One.