World Girls (episode)/Transcript

World Girls

Introduction

Fifi, the French World Girl doll, stands on a model of the Eiffel Tower.

Fifi: Another day without being bought. I must say, I am relieved.   Greta, the Scandinavian doll, stands in a Viking longboat in a canal nearby.

Greta: How can you say that? I long for the adventure of a new world.    

Fifi: But what if those who purchase me are uncouth? I shudder at the thought and would rather stay here.     On the other side of the canal Ying Li, the Chinese doll, is painting on an easel.

Ying Li: I just want whatever girl who buys me to really care about my beautiful culture and heritage.

Fifi: It is my culture and heritage that has the true beauty. Everybody knows that.

Greta: There can be more than one culture with beauty.

Ying Li: But none as ancient as mine.

Fifi: No culture compares to the French!    She puts cheese on a slice of bread and eats it.

Greta: Not this argument again, you two. Besides, we can't control who buys us. Either they will or they won't care about our cultures and histories. That just adds to the wild adventure.

Ying Li: But...   A loud sound is heard. The dolls are in the window of World Girl World and the shutters are coming up. Outside are girls and their mothers.

Girls: (shout)     The first customers walk into the store.

Introduction: Slot Machine: Muffy

Sue Ellen park her bike in front of the Crosswire’s entrance. Muffy holds the door open for her.

Muffy: I'm so glad you're into World Girl dolls, too, Sue Ellen. Francine doesn't care about them all.   They walk up the staircase

Sue Ellen: I didn't say "dolls," I said "doll." I only have one World Girl, Pema from Tibet.

Muffy: You're going to die when you see what I've done with my closet. I made it into a true World Girl world.    They run the rest of the way. Muffy’s large closet if full of dolls and their accessories.   Ta-da!

Sue Ellen: Hh!  Ying-Li is from China. Pyramids are Egyptian. You've arranged this all wrong. She picks up the Chinese doll that sat beside a model pyramid.

Muffy: World Girl isn't about right and wrong. It's about collecting. And what a collection it is!

Sue Ellen: This hula skirt doesn't belong on Greta. And what's Cleopatra doing in a convertible? Don't you read the World Girl books?    She takes the Cleopatra doll out of the toy car.

Muffy: I have hundreds of them in these humidity-controlled cases.

Sue Ellen: But do you read them? If you did, you might have some respect for historical accuracy.

Muffy: Sue Ellen, are you just jealous because I have so many World Girl dolls and you only have Puma?

Sue Ellen: Pema. Her name's Pema. And how could I be jealous when you don't even know the point of Word Girl?

Muffy: Collecting, that is the point.

Sue Ellen: The point is connecting, connecting to cultures.

Muffy: Where's the fun in that?    There is a knock on the door. Bailey comes in with an old-fashioned corded phone.

Bailey: Francine, Miss Muffy.

Francine is at home bouncing a soccer ball on her knee while watching a World Girl commercial on TV.

Muffy: Hello?

Francine: Are you watching TV? Your World Girl thing is getting totally out of control. There's a commercial for a Word Girl World on TV and...

Muffy: World Girl World! Quick, Sue Ellen, turn on the TV!

Sue Ellen jumps on the bed and turns on the TV in Muffy’s room.

Francine: It's ridiculous. I mean, a whole world devoted to dumb dolls?

Commercial: With a World Girl World opening near you, you no longer have to shop by catalog for your favorite doll. Imagine a place certified just for you and your World Girl, where you can bring all her worldly splendors back to your very own home. Come to the grand opening in Elwood City this weekend.

Muffy+Sue Ellen: That was amazing!

Francine: You're kidding, right? That was disgusting!

Muffy: We're going to opening day, all three of us. World Girl World this weekend!

Muffy and Sue Ellen jump on the bed. Muffy holds the handset while Bailey still holds the rest of the phone.

Sue Ellen: I can't wait to visit Little Tibet! I can get Pema's yak weaving loom. I've saved up fifteen dollars.

Muffy: Fifteen dollars? Sue Ellen, fifteen dollars won't even pay for a miniature yak hairbrush.

Francine: See what I'm talking about? It's all a giant rip-off. No way am I going. Bye.   She hangs up.

#

Muffy and Francine are eating lunch on the jungle gym.

Francine: For the last time, you can count me out. I don't play with dolls, remember?

Muffy: World Girl isn't about playing.

Francine: I know, I know, it's about collecting. But I'd rather spend my time and money on real things.

Muffy: I'll buy you the World Girl of your choice if you come.

Francine: No, thanks.   She slides down the slide.

Muffy: And after the grand opening we'll have a sleepover, you, me and Sue Ellen, and we'll do whatever activity you want.

Francine: A sleepover? Okay, I'll go. But only to prove it's a scan to sell useless stuff.

Muffy: Yippee! I'll go tell Sue Ellen.     She slides down the slide.

Francine: But there's no way buying a doll. Never.

#

The Crosswire limousine stops in front of World Girl World. The girls get out. Many other people are already there.

Mother: We had to take a second mortgage to come here. Oh, but it's worth it just to see the girls so happy.

Francine: Did you hear that? This place has duped even the parents.   Muffy grabs Francine’s and Sue Ellen’s arms and drags them forward.

Muffy: Hurry! Hurry! Lines are forming. My goal is to complete my collection of every doll and every accessory by the end of the day.

#

The inside of World Girl World looks like a mall with a small train carrying people.

Sue Ellen: I'm going to find Little Tibet, you guys. I got an advance on my allowance so I can buy the yak weaving loom.    She walks off.

Francine: An advance on your allowance? Oh, brother.

Muffy: Meet at the model UN for lunch, okay? Twelve-thiry!    Sue Ellen waves from the escalator.

#

A girl takes a number ticket from a machine, then stands in a long queue for the Specialized Accessories Area. Sue Ellen is standing in the same line. She nudges the lady in front of her.

Sue Ellen: Excuse me, ma'am, do you have a ticket?

Mother: Yep, we're 124. Only thirty-five people ahead of us.   She points at a sign saying “now serving 89”.

Sue Ellen: (groans)

#

Muffy and Francine walk in another part of the store. Muffy is now wearing an African dress and holding a doll wearing the same dress.

Francine: Okay. Look at this. A stick with two small water buckets: $49.99. Who would pay that?

Muffy: I don't have this yet? Here, Bailey.    She gives the stick to Bailey who is pushing an already full shopping cart.

P.A. Announcer: Greetings, shoppers, Little Antarctica is now open. Come meet our new World Girl, Spinny, and her team of sled dogs.

Francine: (loudly:)  So you can spend even more of your money on more things you didn't even know you wanted!

Muffy: to Bailey:  We have to split up. You take the cart to the Mozambique register while I go to Antarctica. There's going to be a run on Spinny dolls, I just know it.   Bailey leaves.

Francine: (loudly:)  And the second you buy up all the Antartic collection, they'll open up a whole new continent and...

Muffy: Ah, listen, Francine. You're kind of slowing me down.   She hands Francine money.   Why don't you take this and go to the Sports Hall of Fame. Maybe you'll like it there.    

Francine: Fine. I'd like to see what a sham it is. But don't expect me to spend a cent of this.    She leaves. Muffy smiles.

#

Francine gets off the train at the Sports Hall of Fame. In it are dolls doing various sports. There is one doing high-diving, one standing on the winner’s podium, and one playing golf.

Francine: Babe Didrikson Zaharias.   She presses a button. A screen next to the golfer doll shows a film.

Film Announcer: Called by many the greatest female athlete of all time, excelled at baseball, basketball, track and field, and especially golf.   Francine takes the doll. A store assistant arrives.

Female Assistant: She's the most flexible of the Sports World Girl series. And, she comes with her own background dossier.    She holds up a book labelled “Babe – Sports”.

Francine: Dossier?

Female Assistant: All World Girl dolls have their own books, but this one also has a history of golf and the introduction of women into the game. Which was all due to Babe.    Francine takes the book.

Francine: It was?

Store Assistant: Sure. She was the first to play in the PGA.

#

Muffy walks through the Antarctica section wearing winter clothes. Bailey follows with an overflowing shopping cart.

Muffy: We're a little behind schedule, but if we cut across the South Pole...

P.A. Announcer: For those of you who own Fifi, the French World Girl, a new hair salon has just opened on the Rive Gauche.  

Muffy: We have to go to France. Right now.     She runs back.

Bailey: (sighs)

#

Sue Ellen has finally reached the counter at the Specialized Accessories Area.

Sue Ellen: Discontinued? But Pema was my favorite doll.

Male Assistant: They got rid of the whole country. Now there's no Tibet in World Girl World.    He drinks through a straw.

Sue Ellen: But why?

Male Assistant: It's a Buddhist country. It didn't generate enough accessories.  He types on his computer.    I could get you a Turkish rug loom, it's almost the same thing.    Sue Ellen sadly walks away.

Sue Ellen: No, thanks.

#

Francine is standing by the escalators reading the Babe dossier. The Babe doll stands beside her.

Muffy: Francine! Help!    Muffy is carrying a load of bags. Bailey pushes the cart. Francine takes two of Muffy’s bags.     Thanks.

Francine: What are you wearing?    Muffy is wearing a fur-lined coat over a Greek tunic.

Muffy: Uh, I'm not sure. One minute I was in Ancient Greece, then somehow I wound up in Siberia. Why aren't there any benches in this place?   She sees the Babe doll.   What's this one? I don't have this one.     They both sit on the floor.

Francine: That's Babe Didrikson Zaharias, one of the first female professional golfers.

Muffy: You bought her?

Francine: I had to get the book she came with. And, well, she looks so cute.

Muffy: I'm so happy for you. (breathes heavily)

Francine: You look terrible.

Muffy: I just need to get my third wind. Bailey, how many more countries do we have left?

Bailey: Ten, Miss Muffy.

Muffy: Ohh. I'll have to skip lunch.    Sue Ellen joins them.

Francine: Did you find your yak weaving loom?

Sue Ellen: Pema was discontinued. In fact, they've done away with Little Tibet altogether.   She sits down.   I'll never get that loom now.

Francine: There's get to be at least one in this place.

Muffy: On my way to Little Switzerland I passed a doll hospital. They might have some leftover accessories.

Francine: That's a great idea. Come on.   She helps the others stand up.

Muffy: But-but what about the ten countries I have left?

Bailey: I'll do as many as I can, Miss Muffy, and meet you in, say, one hour?    The girls run off.

Muffy: Okay.

Bailey: (sighs)   He leans against the railing and starts reading the Scandinavian World Girl book with a smile.

#

Muffy, Francine and Sue Ellen sit in the Doll Hospital’s reception area.

P.A. Announcer: Paging Dr. Bauman, in Trauma Room One.

Sue Ellen: This place is kind of creepy.

A doctor hands a girl a Hawaiian doll with a bandaged left arm.

Francine: Quick, there's the doctor. Let's see if he has any looms.   They follow the doctor through a door.

Sue Ellen: What.. is this place?     They are standing in a huge warehouse.

Muffy: It doesn't look like any country on the information map.

Francine: Hh!  Look.     There are rows of tall shelves, each with a country’s name on it.

Muffy: There must be thousands of dolls. And they're all different.   She picks up a box. "Ludmila the Estonian Girl"? Where's Estonia? I've never heard of it.

Sue Ellen: Guys. Look at this.

At the back of the warehouse is a conveyor belt with doll bodies. Robot arms are assembling them.

Sue Ellen: They make them so quickly.

Francine: One right after another.

Muffy: How will I keep up? I'll... I'll need more closet space.

Francine: Closet space? You'll need a whole new house.

Muffy: It's too much. Oh, it's just too much. I can't take it anymore.

Sue Ellen: Come on, let's get out of here. The loom's not that important.    She and Francine take Muffy by the arms and lead her away. The machine continues making dolls.

#

The crosswire mansion in the rain. Muffy is throwing dolls into a box. Francine and Sue Ellen sit on another box.

Sue Ellen: I don't believe it. You're really going to give away half your collection to charity?

Muffy: Yep. I'm only keeping the ones I really, really like.  She holds up a Tibetan doll with a green loom.   I don't even remember buying this one.

Sue Ellen: That's Pema. And, look, she's holding the yak weaving loom.

Muffy: It's yours.    She gives doll and loom to Sue Ellen.

Sue Ellen: Wait, this loom is green. Hers is supposed to be brown. Are you sure this belongs with Pema?

Muffy: I've never touched that doll. That's exactly how she was when she came out of the box.

Francine: See what color it is in the book that came with her. They're loaded with information.   Sue Ellen takes a book out of Muffy’s book collection. She flips through it.

Sue Ellen: Yeah, look. It's brown here. They made a mistake. All this time, I've been searching for an accessory that wasn't even accurate.

Francine: So, let's make it accurate.

#

The girls sit on Muffy’s bed in their pajamas. Sue Ellen paints the loom brown. Francine builds a putting green. Muffy sews a doll’s dress.

Sue Ellen: Ta-da! One perfect Tibetan loom. And it didn't cost me a cent.

Francine: Check out Babe's new putting green.

Muffy: That's amazing, Francine. You know, I've been thinking. We could charge a fortune for these accessories. In fact, we could even make the dolls ourselves. We'll call them Universe Girls.

Francine: to Sue Ellen:  There's only one thing to do when Muffy gets an idea like that.    She hands Sue Ellen a pillow.   Pillow fight!    The girls start a pillow fight.

Girls: (laugh)

Sue Ellen: Take that.

Muffy: Hey! Don't mess my hair.