The Curse of the Grebes/Transcript

The Curse of the Grebes

Introduction

In ancient Greece Sisiphus is pushing a boulder up a hill.

Sisyphus: (gruns, groans)      Arthur stands in front of the hill.

Arthur: This is Sisyphus, a character from Greek mythology. The Greek gods must not have liked him very much...    Sisyphus reaches the top of the hill.

Sisyphus: Made it. Phew!     The boulder rolls down again. Sisyphus runs after it   Oh, no! Not again!

Arthur: He had to spend eternity pushing that boulder up a hill, only to have it roll back down over and over again!     On another hill Buster is pushing up a huge baseball.    If Sisyphus had liked baseball, he would have been an Elwood City Grebes fan. Getting your hopes up year after year…   Buster reaches the top.

Buster: This time, we're gonna win. This time, it's gonna be different. Go Grebes!

Arthur:...only to have those hopes crushed at the end of every season.   The ball starts moving. Buster tries to stop it, then he runs down the hill with the ball rolling after him.

Title Card: Buster Roars (Chicken)

Arthur and Buster are throwing a baseball to each other in the Reads’ yard. Pal runs from one to the other.

Buster: You're acting like it's no big deal, but the Grebes are in the world championship.

Arthur: I just don't want to jinx it by getting my hopes up. That’s all.

Buster: We already won the first game. We just need to win three more.

Arthur: But we're up against the Crown City Kings. They've won the world championship twenty-five times.    Buster ignores the ball as it flies past him.

Buster: So what?

Arthur: So the Grebes haven't won a world championship since 1918.    Pal fetches the ball.

Buster: But don't you see? Our time has come.

Arthur: How can you be so sure?

#

Brain, Arthur and Buster climb up to the treehouse.

Brain: Baseball is a science, a game of numbers. This year we've got three factors that have changed the equation.

Arthur: What factors?     The treehouse is full of Grebes fan articles. Brain points to some pictures.

Brain: The new players: Winlin, Playmon and Batería.    He gets out a folder.    Last year, Playmon hit .375 with a .465 on-base percentage.

Buster: The Kings don't have a hitter like that.    Arthur looks at Brain’s chart.

Arthur: Yeah, and Batería is the best short stop in the league.

Brain: Not to mention Winlin, the best pitcher with 27 saves and a 2.1 E.R.A. 

Buster: Buster: Nobody can outpitch him

Brain: I've done a data comparison of the Kings and the Grebes and mapped it all onto this simple grid. The outcome is clear. Our team simply can't be beat.     Arthur and Buster smile.

#

Arthur, Buster, Brain and Francine are sitting in the Sugar Bowl. Francine is wearing a Grebe fan hat.

Francine: I figured out that this hat wards off the curse. Every time I wear it, the Grebes win!

Brain: There's no such thing as "the curse".

Francine: How can you say that? Things haven't been the same for the Grebes since that one game in 1918...  It was the Grebes versus Kings…

Flashback: The Grebes stadium in 1918.

Stadium Announcer: It's two on and two out for the Grebes with Ray “Woodpecker” Vance stepping up to the plate. Elwood City has their pennant hopes riding high on Vance. And he connects…  Vance hits the ball.   This could be it. This ball is going! Going...! Gone! The Grebes win ten to nine! They are the new wooorld champions!

Three boys are standing on a roof overlooking the stadium. The ball falls into the gutter of the building and rolls down the drainpipe. A boy climbs down the ladder, runs around the house and catches the ball as it comes out of the pipe.

The Kid: Got it!    A richly dressed man is standing behind him.

Mr. Crane: Ahem! I bet you're one of those urchins who sneaks into the park without paying! Give me that ball, you little thief!

The Kid: But, Mister, I chased it down fair and square.

Mr. Crane: My name is Horace P. Crane. I own the Grebes, I own the land you're standing on, and I own that ball.   The boy spits on the ball before handing it to Crane.

The Kid: Then with this ball I put a curse on your crummy team! You’ll never win another championship!

The fantasy ends.

Francine: And that started the longest championship-losing streak of any team in the history of the league.   Mr. Manino brings their orders.

Buster: Harry told me the curse of the kid was lifted this year.

Arthur: Really? How?

Buster: A descendant of Horace P Crane, his second cousin's nephew's niece, found the ball in her attic and finally laid it at the kid's tombstone.

Brain: Why do people believe these things?

Francine: Well, so far so good. But I'm not taking off this hat until the series is over.

#

The Grebes stadium in the evening. Buster and Harry Mills are in the audience.

Stadium announcer: The Kings are hoping to break the 3-3 deadlock, but it doesn't look very likely as their number nine hitter steps up to the plate.

Harry Mills: Don't worry, Buster. Look who's up at bat.

Buster: Mucky Flint. He’s got the lowest batting average of anybody in the league!

Harry Mills: He's no match for Winlin's cutter, that's for sure.     Winlin throws and Flint hits it.

Stadium announcer: He connects! This ball is... gone!     The Grebes lose.

#

After the game in the parking lot Bailey holds open the car door for Muffy and her dad. Both are wearing Kings fan clothes.

Mr. Crosswire: Who knew Mucky Flint could hit like that?

Muffy: I'm not surprised. We Kings always win.

Harry and Buster stand nearby.

Harry Mills: Just got lucky, I guess. We didn't come this far to give up now.

#

Francine and Muffy are sitting on Muffy’s bed. Francine is still wearing the fan hat.

Francine: I was worried when the Grebes lost that second game, but after we won games three and four, I knew the hat was still working.     Muffy turns on the TV.

Muffy: Look! It's Daddy's new commercial and I'm in it!

On the screen Mr. Crosswire is standing in front of his store wearing Grebes fan clothes.

Mr. Crosswire (on TV): Come on down to Crosswire Motors for a...

Francine: Is your dad wearing a Grebes hat?!

Mr. Crosswire (on TV): Remember, at Crosswire Motors, you'll always drive away a winner!    Muffy sits on a car waving a Grebes flag.

Mr. Crosswire+Muffy (on TV): Go Grebes!       Muffy turns off the TV.

Francine: That is so hypocritical! You and your dad have always been Kings fans.

Muffy: Yeah, but now the Grebes have three wins. It's much more fun to be on the winning side.   She leaves.

Francine: Anyone can root for a winning team. It takes character to stick with the underdogs.

#

Harry Mills and Buster sit down in the stadium for another game.

Harry Mills: Well, Buster, tonight's the night

Buster: Yeah, tomorrow the Grebes could be the world champions.     Buster notices Muffy and her dad sitting behind them in Grebes fan clothes.

Cut to the end of the game.

Stadium Announcer: And the Kings have taken game five, forcing a sixth game.   Buster has buried his face in his hands.

Harry Mills: Don't worry. We're still up three games to two.

Muffy: Oh, Daddy, this is terrible! What'll we do if they don't win the next one?

Mr. Crosswire: Don't worry, Muffin. We can always pull the new Grebes commercial off the air and replace it with the Kings one.

Buster looks worried

#

Francine, Buster and Arthur are pushing their bikes.

Francine: I just hope the curse hasn't kicked in.

Arthur: Are you going to the game with Harry tonight?

Buster: Yeah, and I really want to see us win. So far I've only been there when we lose.   Francine stops.

Francine: Oh, really? How interesting.

Buster: It's just... You know...now that I think about it.

Francine: A strange coincidence?

Buster: Okay, well, um, gotta go!   He rides off.

#

Buster has a fantasy in which he watches the game with Harry Mills.

Stadium Announcer: This could be it. The Grebes can finally win it all! Just one hour away from the world championship! Here's the pitch. It's an easy grounder... It went right through his legs! The Grebes just lost their best chance to win it all again!

The fantasy ends. Buster paces in his room in his pajamas.

Buster: When I show up, they lose. When I'm not there, they win.  He sits down on the bed.    Oh, I'm their biggest fan, but what if...? What if...?

In Buster’s imagination he is sitting alone in the stands. A group of Grebes fans including his friends appears on the field.

Francine: There he is! Get him!

Buster: Aaugh!      Buster runs away, the fans follow.

Francine: That way!

Just as Buster wants to run through a door, Winlin, Playmon and Batería block his way.

Winlin: Hey, hold it right there.

Playmon: s this that kid with the curse?

Batería: Sí, eso es.     [Yes, that’s him.]

Francine: You're the reason the Grebes are losing!

Buster: You don't think I'd curse the team I love, do you?

Playmon: You're bad luck

Batería: Get out of town, Baxter

Batería: Largate!        [Get lost!]   

Brain: You have done enough damage!

Buster: What are you doing here?? You don't even believe in the curse.

Brain: Of course not. But according to the quantum theory, the outcome of any experiment is partly determined by the presence of a particular observer.

Buster: What does that have to do with baseball?

Brain: Your very presence in the stands has a negative effect on the physics of baseball for the Grebes.

Playmon: In other words: you're the curse.

Buster: Nooo!

The fantasy ends.

Buster I can't go to the last game. I just can't

#

In the supermarket Buster looks at a fan hat.

Buster: sighs)

Mrs. Baxter: Do you want one of those to wear to the big game tomorrow?

Buster: Mom, I want you to take my ticket. I can watch the game on TV

Mrs. Baxter: Oh, that is so sweet of you, but you and Harry are diehard fans. You've got to be there for the final game of the world championship. We forgot the milk. Will you run and get it?

Buster: Sure.    He runs off.

While picking out a milk carton Buster notices Grebes player Playmon standing beside him.

Buster: Hh! Playmon?

Playmon: Hey, kid.

Buster: Wow! This is...! I'm a big fan.

Playmon: Nice to meet you.

Buster: Would you sign my milk carton?

Playmon: Sure. What's your name?

Buster: Buster Baxter.      Winlin and Batería join Playmon.

Winlin: Hey, Playmon, there's a special on apples.

Buster: Winlin?! Batería! You guys buy groceries too?

Playmon: This is Buster. How about signing this for him?    He hands the carton to Winlin.

Winlin: We really appreciate your support. We couldn't do it without fans like you.

Batería: You going to the big game?

Buster: Yes. I mean no. Trust me, you don't want me there.

Batería: Why not?

Buster: You know how you lost games two, five and six? It was my fault.

Winlin: Guess we're off the hook.

Buster: No, it's true. When I'm in the stands, you lose. When I'm not, you win. It's the curse. I bring the curse.      He walks away. The three players follow him.

Batería: No es verdad. It's not true.

Playmon: The curse is you not showing up for the game because you're afraid we lose.

Winlin: The curse is you thinking that we don't need you in the stands tomorrow because the fact is we do. Ever hear of Dickinson?

Buster: Shortstop?

Winlin: Poet. Lived in New England. Wrote a poem that goes ike this. “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul / and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.“

Playmon: Do you see what we're trying to say?

Buster: Not really.

Winlin: Tomorrow at the big game, hope is a green-tailed grebe. If we're gonna win...

Playmon: ...then we need all the fan support we can get.

Batería:  We need you, Buster, curse or no curse.

Winlin: Yeah, Buster, we need you.

#

In the stadium during the final match.

Stadium Announcer: It's the bottom of the ninth, the bases are loaded for the Grebes, but they're down ten to seven and have two outs against them

Harry Mills: I think it's time.    He and Buster put on Grebes hats.

Stadium Announcer: Playmon is up.    Buster waves from the stands.

Umpire: Strike one.     Arthur, Brain and Francine are watching in the Reads’ living room.

Francine: Come on, Playmon!    

Umpire: Strike two.   Muffy exchanges her Grebes hat for a Kings one. Buster is seen on the stadium screen.

Buster: "Hope is the thing with feathers!"  Woo-hoo!  He imitates a bird.

Francine: Oh, no! Buster's cracking.

Buster: Oh, I can't watch.

Stadium Announcer: Playmon connects! This ball is hit hard! It could be an out! Off the pole! It's there! Grebes have won!   The Grebes players crowd around Playmon. Arthur, Brain and Francine dance in front of the TV.

Francine: Playmon's the best!

Brain: The numbers were right!     Harry Mills picks up Buster.

Buster: Ho-ho-ho! We're the world champions And it only took 87 years!

Harry Mills: And you can tell your grandchildren you were there!

#

Many years later an old Buster sits down in a futuristic living room with two children.

Old Buster: The most amazing part was what happened to the ball after Playmon hit it. It went up and up and then it sprouted feathers.

Boy: Wings! Did anyone ever find that ball?

Old Buster: Oh, no. It flapped right out of the ball park, past the moon and right to the stars.

A baseball with wings flies through space.