So Long, Spanky/Transcript

Introduction

Arthur stands in front of a cage with a parakeet in D.W.'s room.

Arthur: This is D.W.'s parakeet, Spanky. Shh! Quiet! I don't want to wake him up.

Flashback: Arthur and D.W. stand in front of a cage in a pet store.

Arthur (narrator): From the moment we first met, Spanky and I have never been best friends.

Spanky pecks Arthur’s finger.

Arthur: Ouch!

D.W.: I want that one.

Flashback: Arthur lies reading on the bed. Spanky steals his shoelace.

Arthur (narrator): Some days, I wish he'd go south for the winter and stay there.

Flashback: D.W. puts a doll’s dress, bonnet, and umbrella on Spanky.

Arthur (narrator): Other times, I feel sorry for him. It’s bad enough being D.W.'s brother. Imagine what it’s like being her pet!

The flashbacks end.

Arthur: (sighs) I guess I’ve grown used to him. In fact, I sort of like him. Spanky starts squawking. With his beak closed, that is!

Title Card: D.W. Chases Frog

Birds are singing in the tree in the Reads’ yard. Inside D.W.’s room, Spanky squawks sadly.

D.W.: Spanky, you sound sick. No school for you today. She feels the bird’s forehead. Hm, no fever. Still, you should stay warm. Now, how about a nice cup of tea?

Spanky: Chirp.

D.W.: Wait here, and don't talk.

D.W. runs out of the room. But while she does that, Spanky closes his eyes. D.W. soon returns soon after with a mug of tea.

D.W.: This should do the trick! Mom made it with honey, and I put in a cough drop, just in case.

***

Downstairs, Mr. Read opens the oven and takes out some pastries. D.W. comes holding Spanky who does not move.

D.W.: Dad! Dad! Dad, why won't Spanky wake up?

Mr. Read: Oh, um... I think he's dead, honey.

D.W.: Dead? Well, when is he gonna stop being dead? He has to drink his tea.

Arthur comes in.

Arthur: Is something dead?

D.W.: Spanky's sleeping, and he won't wake up.

Arthur: Oh.

D.W.: Will he ever wake up, Dad?

Mr. Read: I'm afraid not, honey. Spanky's gone, now. But we could give him a nice funeral.

D.W. starts crying. Mr. Read hugs her.

D.W.: But I don't want Spanky to be dead, Daddy.

***

The birds are still singing, when the Reads stand around a freshly dug grave under the tree. Each Read is holding a flower.

Mr. Read: Spanky, I'll never forget the time you got loose in my kitchen, and you didn't eat a single poppyseed. Thanks.

He puts down his flower.

Mrs. Read: I'll always remember your beautiful song, Spanky.

She bows down and Kate puts down her flower.

Kate: Ga.

Arthur: Gee, Spanky, I'm sorry I told you to shut up so much. And the time when you poked holes in my Bionic Bunny coloring book, I wasn't really angry. I was just pretending to be angry, because Buster was there, and when you...

Mr. Read: Ahem!

Arthur: Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm gonna miss you, Spanky.

He puts down his flower.

D.W.: I think, I'd like to be alone with Spanky for a moment.

The others walk to the house. Arthur looks back, then hides behind a tree. D.W. picks up the flowers and a can that is lying around. When she puts the flowers in the can and the can on the grave, the flowers start moving.

D.W.: What the... Get out, whoever you are! This is Spanky's can now! A toad jumps out. Yuck! Oh, Spanky, I'll never have another friend like you! You were the sweetest, prettiest... The toad jumps over to her. Would you get out of here, you ugly toad!

She chases the toad away. Arthur walks over.

Arthur: Don't be sad, D.W. You'll see, there'll be other fish in the sea... or birds in the air. Come on, I have an idea.

He leads D.W. away. The toad looks after them. D.W. turns and gives it an angry look.

***

Arthur and D.W. stand in a pet store looking at parakeets.

Arthur: How about this one, D.W.?

D.W.: It looks just like Spanky.

She turns away sadly.

Arthur: Wow! How about a parrot! It wouldn't remind you of Spanky.

Parrot: Squawk! Spanky! Spanky!

D.W.: No.

Arthur: A hamster, now that would be cool!

D.W.: Does it sing?

Arthur: No. That's what's so cool about it. A group of kids rushes past them. Hey, what's going on back there?

Rat Boy: They're about to feed the boa constrictor. It eats bird eggs whole!

Arthur looks at D.W. who looks horrified.

D.W.: Don't even think of asking me!

***

The next morning, D.W. sits by Spanky’s grave with her backpack on her back. She holds some more flowers.

D.W.: Spanky, you'll be happy to hear that I didn't get another pet. Some of them were cute, but none of them were as cute as you. Not even the parrot, although he did speak English pretty well. She picks up the can. Hey, I thought I told you to stay out of that can, you toady-wartface! The toad jumps out. There are plenty of cans out there just as good as this one. Go away and find another one. The toad jumps back into the can. D.W. shakes it out. Hey, this is Spanky's can! Understand? Spanky's can, not toad's! You're just gotta go find yourself a new home!

As she leaves, the toad jumps into her backpack.

***

D.W. arrives at preschool and puts her lunchbag in a shelf. Two boys whisper and sneak up to her. They hold up a spider, but before D.W. even notices it, the toad’s tongue snatches it away. The boys look startled.

D.W.: Oh, hi, Billy and Bobby.

Billy+Bobby: W..w... w-w-waaah!

They run away.

***

Later, the preschoolers sit in a circle.

Miss Morgan: Thank you for sharing that very pretty beach glass with us, Maryann. Now, does anyone have anything else for Show and Tell?

D.W.: I do, Mrs. Morgan!

Miss Morgan: Splendid, D.W.

D.W. walks to the front with a box.

D.W.: In this box are Spanky's things. He died, but he left this stuff behind. I don't think he'd mind if I showed it to you.

When she open the box, the toad jumps out and floats down holding a paper umbrella.

Kids: Aaaahh!

D.W.: Get your disgusting hands off of that umbrella!

The toad lands on a chair and jumps on Maryann’s head.

Maryann: Augh! The boy next to her tries to catch the toad. (cries)

Miss Morgan: Now, everyone, try to remain calm! The toad jumps on her head. Augh!

The toad jumps on D.W.’s shoulder and stays there.

Kyle: Wow! How do you get him to stay on your shoulder like that?

D.W.: Easy. I just tell him to get lost. Any more questions?

After preschool, D.W. walks home with her mom. She holds the box and a small purse.

D.W.: And then, Billy Biddles gave me a bite of his avocado sandwich. He's a vegetable-tarian.

Mrs. Read: Vegetarian.

D.W.: Right, and it sort of tasted like a broccoli pudding. And then Amanda showed me her bottle cap collection. It wasn't that interesting. She drops the purse which fall into a gutter. And I told her she should get something more colorful, like pen caps, or candy wrappers, or leftover crayons, or ribbons off presents, or papers from the toys, or colored beads, or maybe straws from all over the world, or the things you pull off the sticky parts of bandages...

The toad jumps into the gutter and come out of another gutter holding the purse.

D.W.: You again! Hey, how did you get my purse? You know pickpocketing is against the law, and if you don't watch you step, I'll call the cops on you! She picks up the purse. Ooah! I wonder if they dry-clean plastic? Hmph!

She walks on. The toad follows.

***

Mr. Read tucks D.W. in.

D.W.: Dad, If I always pick up my socks and eat all my salad and brush my teeth without being asked, will Spanky come back?

Mr. Read: No, honey. But you know what, you have all those fun times you had with Spanky in your head. And whenever you miss him, you can remember one of those times. It'll make you feel better.

D.W.: Okay.

He kisses her.

Mr. Read: Goodnight, pumpkin.

He turns off the light and goes out.

D.W.: Let's see. I remember the time I found that tiny top hat that fitted you just right? Oh, it's just not the same. She hears a noise. Huh? She sees a shadow in the birdcage. Spanky, it's you! I knew you'd come back! I knew it!

She turns on the light and realizes that the shadow is the toad.

D.W.: That's it!! Stealing a purse is one thing, but trespassing on Spanky's property...that's bad!

She throws herself on the birdcage, but the Toad jumps away. D.W. falls to the ground.

D.W.: Oof. The toad sits on the nightstand. (roars)

D.W. jumps at the toad again and knocks down the lamp.

D.W.: If I ever catch you in here again, I'm gonna...! The alarm clock rings. Huh. D.W. sees a ball out of the closet. Grrrr...

D.W. starts throwing things out of the closet. A mitten falls on the toad and it hops away. D.W. comes out of the closet wearing a funny hat and a scarf and holding a golf club. She sees the toad hop into a laundry basket.

D.W.: Now I've got you!

D.W. jumps into the basket and starts throwing out clothes.

D.W.: (sighs) I give up. Well, you've won for now, Toadie. She gets into bed. But I'll be ready in the morning. And then there's gonna be trouble! (yawns) Big trouble.

***

The next morning, D.W. wakes up and looks around the room. The mitten is on Kate’s changing table.

D.W.: Really, I expected something a little more sneaky!

She sneaks up to the mitten and grabs it. It is empty.

D.W.: Hm... Oh, I know!

She pretends to leave the room, then jumps in again.

D.W.: Hi-yah! She sees nothing. Toadie?

***

D.W. walks to Spanky’s grave in her pajamas.

D.W.: Toad, you'd better not be in that can! Come on. I know you're in there! She picks up the can and yells into it. Come out, come out, wherever you...! Toad is not in the can. I hope I didn't hurt him!

***

Arthur is playing with a castle made of building blocks in the living room when he hears D.W. searching the house.

D.W.: Toadie! Yoo-hoo! Toa-dieee!

D.W. jumps on the couch and throws the pillows across the room.

Arthur: Hey, watch it!

D.W.: Here, Toadie! Here, boy! (whistles)

She runs out.

***

Mrs. Read puts laundry in the washing machine. She turns it on as D.W. comes down.

D.W.: Mom, have you seen a small toad anywhere? He's all gray, he bounces about this high, and he's all warty.

Mrs. Read: Why would there be a toad in the house?

D.W.: Well, he followed me every place yesterday, and last night I chased him into a pile of dirty... Oh, no! You're washing my clothes!

Mrs. Read: Yes! And speaking of which, they were thrown all over the room!

D.W. hangs onto the washing machine and cries.

D.W.: I'm sorry, Toadie! I didn't mean to be so mean to you! First Spanky and now you! I'm a pet killer! I should be thrown in jail! (sobs)

Mrs. Read: What on earth?! Don't cry, D.W. Toadie jumps out of the laundry basket on her shoulder. Huh?

D.W.: Toadie!

Mrs. Read: (gasps)

Toadie hops away.

D.W.: Wait! Come back!

She runs after the toad.

***

In the kitchen, Mr. Read puts chocolate icing on pastries.

Mr. Read: (hums) Toadie jumps into the icing and further on. Huh?

D.W.: Did you...? Mr. Read points. Thanks, Dad!

***

In the living room, Arthur plays with the castle and a knight figure.

Arthur: A-hahaha! Evil Lord Konak, you'll never catch us now. We're safe within the castle. Toadie jumps through the castle and knocks it down. Unless, of course, a giant toad destroys it. D.W. runs through the castle and knocks down the remaining blocks. Hey!

Toadie jumps out of the window. D.W. runs out of the house.

D.W.: Wait! Come back, Toady! I'll be nice. I promise!

In the yard next door, Mr. Sipple is mowing his lawn.

D.W.: Stop the machine! You're going to mow my toad!

Mr. Sipple: What?? Your toe?

D.W.: My pet! You're going to kill my pet!

Toadie stops in front of the lawn mower as Mr. Sipple turns it off. She jumps back and into D.W.’s arms.

D.W.: Toadie, you're safe! Don't you ever scare me like that again!

She hugs the toad.

***

D.W. and Toadie sit on the bed and talk to Mr. and Mrs. Read.

D.W.: Can I keep him? Can I?

Mrs. Read: Well, I suppose. But we'll have to go to the library to find out how to take care of him. Toadie snatches a passing fly. Yuck!

D.W. picks up Toadie.

D.W.: Well, maybe you don't sing, but you're pretty cute for a toady-wartface.

Toadie smiles.