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Prunella Packs it In/Transcript
Prunella Packs It In[edit]
Introduction[edit]
In her fantasy Prunella walks through a stone hall carrying a torch.
Prunella: Grizelda the Fearless knew that the magic chalice lay hidden nearby but first, she had to sneak past the dreaded three-headed dog of Doogenkirk. Luckily, it was asleep. So all Grizelda had to do was tiptoe by in utter silence. Prunella sneaks past the dog and up a stairway. A small stone falls down. Oops! The stone hits a shield on a wall with a loud gong. The dog wakes up and chases Prunella up a spiral staircase. On the upper floor she bangs on a door. Lady Pinfore, Lady Pinfore, let me in! I beseech thee!
The fantasy ends. Rubella opens the door holding a book. Prunella’s torch is a plunger and the three headed dog is a stuffed toy dog.
Rubella: What?!
Prunella: Your Ladyship, you must grant me shelter. The three-headed dog of Doogenkirk is right behind me!
Rubella: I can't play right now, I'm studying for a test.
Prunella: How could the threat of a mere test compare with being savaged by the...?
Rubella: It's not just a test, Pruny, it's the college exam, and it's much much scarier than any three-headed dog, so keep it down. She closes the door. Prunella picks up the dog.
Prunella: Don't worry, boy. I still think you're terrifying.
Title Card: Fortune Teller[edit]
Brain serves Muffy in his parents’ ice-cream shop. Prunella comes in.
Prunella: Hey, Brain. One Magical Mystery Sundae, please. to Muffy: Do you want to come over and fight the three-headed dog of Doogenkirk with me?
Muffy: Sorry, I have tap class. Besides, isn’t hat something you do with Rubella?
Prunella: She's too busy studying for some silly test. Brain hands Muffy two ice-cream cones.
Brain: You mean the college exam? That is a big test. It's what colleges look at when they decide whether or not to take you.
Prunella: There’s a single exam that gets you into college?
Muffy: If there is, Daddy must have gotten an A+. He went to Ivy University, and that's the best college there is.
Brain: The college exam isn't graded with a letter, Muffy. They’re graded with numbers.
Muffy: Oh. Then I guess he got a million.
Prunella: But what if you don't do well on exams?
Brain: Colleges also look at your grades. So, if you're a good student, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.
Prunella: What if you're an okay student?
Muffy: Don't worry. There are a zillion colleges out there. I'm sure there’s at least one that will take you. She walks out. Brain serves Prunella her sundae.
Brain: Do you want gummy newts in that?
Prunella: Actually...I've lost my appetite. She walks out. Brain drops the newt on the sundae.
#
Prunella lies in bed at night. She hears Muffy’s voice.
Muffy: 'There are a zillion colleges out there. I'm sure there’s at least one that will take you. ...will take you...'
In her dream attends a college graduation ceremony with her mother and Mr. Haney. She gets up
Dean Pickles: Prunella Deegan, for successfully completing four years of pie-throwing and batball, I, Dean Pickles, of the Whoop-Dee-Doo College for clowns, present you this non-refundable diploma. Congratulations. He gives Prunella a diploma and shakes her hand with a hand buzzer.
Prunella: Argh!
Audience: (laugh) Prunella wakes up.
Prunella: Augh!!
#
In the library Prunella brings a large pile of books to the checkout counter. Muffy arrives with Bailey.
Muffy: You’re not checking out all the Henry Skreever books, are you? I've reserved “The Chalice Of Malice”.
Prunella: These are text books. Quantum physics, surrealist poetry, the Crimean War...
Muffy: Since when are you interested in that stuff?
Prunella: Since I decided I don't want to go to Clown College.
Muffy: Are you still worried about that? Look, there are other ways to get in besides good grades and tests. They also want people who are well-rounded.
Prunella: But I'm thin as a rail!
Muffy: No, silly. Well-rounded means having lots of fascinating interests and activities.
Prunella: Does being a Henry Skreever fan count?
Muffy: Uh...no. They have to be things that make you seem exciting, like playing the ukulele or delivering turkeys to orphans.
Prunella: What do you do?
Muffy: I folk dance, play the okarina, and I come here every week and read to little kids. A group of preschoolers is waiting.
Prunella: How do you have time to do all that?
Muffy: When you really care about stuff, Prunella, you just find the time. Muffy takes an “I Ching, You Ching” magazine and sits down on a couch. Bailey starts reading to the preschoolers.
Bailey: “Chapter One. A funny face peered at me through the gate. It was none other than my pet goat." Miss Turner has checked out all the books and put them in abox.
Prunella: I don’t think I’m gonna need these, Miss Turner.
#
Prunella lies on her bed and reads the Cultural Center’s catalogue. Marina sits beside her and does string figures.
Prunella: Oh, this one sounds great. "Kendo, the ancient art of Japanese sword fighting”.
Marina: You're only nine! You don’t have to worry about college yet.
Prunella: Easy for you to say, you get straight A's. Oh! How about "Artisanal cheese making?" Do you think colleges would like that?
Marina: But you don't even like cheese.
Prunella: Yeah, but this is cheese making, not cheese eating. What about, "Assembling your own V8 engine"? I bet there are no other nine-year-olds taking that.
Marina: I think they should at least be things you actually want to do.
Prunella: Well, unfortunately, the Cultural Center isn't offering any classes in Fortune Telling. "How to speak useful Czech." That sounds... useful. Now all I have to do is get my mum to sign me up. This is going to be great.
#
Prunella is sitting cross-legged with other students in a room in the Elwood City Cultural Center. She is the only child.
Sensei: Now breathe into your core. Feel the air. Hold it... and release. Once again... breathe in. Prunella looks around and addresses the man next to her.
Prunella: Excuse me. I thought this was Japanese sword fighting? Where are the swords?
Man: We don't get swords till week five. Until then, it's just breathing. Prunella walks out the door.
Sensei: ...Expelling...
#
In the Cultural Center corridor Prunella meets Bailey who is dressed as a cook.
Prunella: Hi, Bailey. What are you doing here?
Bailey: Miss Muffy and I are enrolled in a puff pastry seminar. He puts on his chef’s hat.
Prunella: Do you know where room three-twelve is? I'm late for my “Useful Czech Language” class.
Bailey: Straight down the hall, on the left. They part ways.
#
Prunella opens a door to a room in which a teacher is writing a Czech sentence on the blackboard using phonetic spelling. There is only one student.
Czech Teacher: „Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém trhu.“ "Our product is selling very well in the U.S. market."
Czech Student: „Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém...“ Prunella closes the door from the outside.
#
Prunella sits on a bench in the park. Marina juggles a soccer ball with a bell inside, so she can hear it.
Prunella: And the cheese making course made me nauseous so I had to quit that, too. But I’m not giving up. I signed up for three more classes. Do you think colleges want students who know how to yodel?
Marina: Beats me. What about volunteer work? If you're gonna run around doing things you don't like you might as well be helping someone.
Prunella: That’s a great idea!
Marina: My dad helps out at the Elwood City Wildlife Center. I could ask if he knows of anything.
Prunella: Perfect! I love animals.
Marina: So can we play some soccer now? Prunella gets up. Marina passes the ball to her.
Prunella: Can’t. I’m late for scuba. Call me. She walks away.
#
Prunella stands on the sidewalk by the park dressed as a grebe and holding up an “I love grebes” sign. People ignore her.
Prunella: Save the pie-billed grebe! Donate now and get a "I Honk for Grebes" bumper sticker! Oh...! She sits down on a bench and drinks some water. She throws the empty bottle in the trash.
Somebody: Hey, Grebe! That goes in recycling!
Prunella: Oh... Sorry! As she takes the bottle back out she is attacked by a pigeon. Argh! Get away! Ugh, get away! Get away!
#
Prunella leans against her locker at school and sleeps.
Prunella: (snores) Mr. Ratburn comes.
Mr. Ratburn: Prunella? Prunella does flamenco moves.
Prunella: Olé! Arriba! Chico! Oh, sorry...I thought I was in flamenco class for a second.
Mr. Ratburn: I was wondering if you'd be willing to help paint the set of the school play? You did such a wonderful job last year.
Prunella: Sure! That was so much fun!
Mr. Ratburn: We're doing Chekhov's “The Cherry Orchard” and I’m thinking of creating an entire forest as a backdrop.
Prunella: Oh, with tons of cherry blossoms and... Oh, wait... Would it take a lot of time?
Mr. Ratburn: Just an hour after school, and maybe a few hours on the weekend.
Prunella: I don't think I can do it, Mr Ratburn. I just don't have time.
Mr. Ratburn: You don't have to make a decision right away. Why don't you think about it? He walks away.
Prunella: (sighs) She opens her locker and lots of sport equipment falls out. Argh! Grrr!
#
In her room Prunella checks her very thick appointment book.
Prunella: Okay, I have to be at the Senior Center at six to help with bingo, but Amish Quilt Design has moved to four-fifteen, so that means... I have a whole twenty minutes all to myself! Aah… She drops on her bed.
In her dream Prunella carries a backpack full of equipment.
Prunella: Must...get to...next appointment...
Sensei: You're not breathing right. Here's some extra air. He gives her a gas cylinder.
Prunella: Ugh!
Czech Teacher: Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém trhu. He puts a couple of books on top of the gas cylinder.
Prunella: No more! I can't carry it all! The kendo sensei, a cook with a cheese and several grebes come running at her.
Sensei: Breathe! Breathe!
Prunella: Aaah! She runs away. The others chase her.
Sensei: Breathe! Breathe! Breathe in!
Czech Teacher: Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém trhu!
Prunella runs into the Cultural Center. She blocks the door with the gas cylinder.
Prunella: Phew! Hh! She is now in a large room full of students sitting at desks. Rubella walks up to her.
Rubella: Pruny, you're late for the college exam!
Prunella: This isn't my bouzouki class?
Rubella: Face it, you were no good at all those other things, you’d better just hope you do well on this. She hands Prunella a stack of papers labelled “College Exam”. Prunella sits down at a desk.
Prunella: “Fish is to bicycle as fusilli is to 'blank'?!" Dean Pickles puts a balloon animal on her desk.
Dean Pickles: Don't worry, we'll always have a spot for you.
Prunella: No-o-o-o-o-o!
#
An alarm clock sounds the next morning. Prunella wakes up, still in her street clothes. She turns off the alarm.
Prunella: Hh! Eight in the morning! I slept through all my appointments! Argh! She lies back down.
#
Prunella and Marina sit in the Sugar Bowl.
Prunella: So I quit everything.
Marina: Everything?
Prunella: Yep. I guess I better get used to the idea of Clown College.
Marina: Look at the bright side. Now you have time to do things you really like.
Prunella: You're right. From now on, I'm just living for today. Marina stands up and raises her cane.
Marina: Then we must not tarry, o powerful wizard, the three-headed dog of Doogenkirk is still out there!
Prunella: And Lord Moldywart is growing more powerful. To the castle! Wait... Could we go to the castle a little later? There's something I wanna do first.
#
Mr. Ratburn watches Prunella and Muffy paint the backdrop for “The Cherry Orchard”. Fern, Binky, George and Sue Ellen are also helping.
Mr. Ratburn: Ah, these trees really give the sense of wistfulness that pervades “The Cherry Orchard”. Excellent work, Prunella.
Prunella: Thanks. Too bad painting sets won't get me into college.
Mr. Ratburn: Why not? Set design is a well-respected profession. There are entire schools devoted to it. Not that you should be worrying about college now. You're only in fourth grade. He leaves.
Muffy: Agh! I'm covered in paint!
Prunella: You didn't tell me this counts.
Muffy: Counts for what?
Prunella: College! Painting sets is a fascinating activity that makes me well-rounded.
Muffy: No, it doesn't.
Prunella: Does too! Mr. Crosswire comes in.
Mr. Crosswire: Hi, Muffin. Bailey had some sort of pastry class to go to so I'm your ride home today.
Muffy: Daddy, tell Prunella that painting is just a hobby and would never in a million years get you into Ivy University.
Mr. Crosswire: I wouldn't know. I never went to college.
Muffy: Hh! But you have that framed diploma in your office!
Mr. Crosswire: Oh, that's just an honorary degree. They gave it to me when I donated the library. Beautifu set! Well, come on, Pookums, the car's outside. He walks away.
Prunella: Don't worry, Muffy, there's a zillion colleges out there. I'm sure there must be at least one that’ll take you!
Muffy: Huh! She walks away.
Prunella: That tree could use more blossoms, George. Binky, put a few clouds up there. But use a sponge, it's a softer effect. Come on, people, let's make this forest come alive!