Prunella's Special Edition/Transcript

Prunella's Special Edition

Introduction

Prunella comes up a stone staircase wearing wizard’s robes and carrying a torch and a piece of parchment.

Prunella: ...97, 98, 99, 100. “One hundred steps to begin your quest.” Now what?    She sees lots of bookshelves and walks up to one.   Wow! “The Raven” by Poe, “The Seagull” by Chekov, “The Wild Duck” by Ibsen. Hey. All these titles have something in common!    The books come to life. They fly up squawking and attack Prunella.   Aaah! Get off!   Prunella draws a wand.    Snickety snappety sugary smore, magic wand, show me the door!    A door appears out of thin air.    Hh!    She runs through the door.     Whoa, that was close.    She steps on a trapdoor and falls down a long tunnel.   A-a-a-a-h!    She grabs hold of a ledge. Her wand keeps falling.   Hng...must...reach rug.   She takes a rolled-up rug out of her robes and loosens the string with her teeth. The rug unrolls, she jumps on it and flies along a tunnel past eyes looking out of holes. She ends up in a richly furnished room. On a lectern is a book with a large “P”.    The book! I found it! And it's all mine!   She opens it.   But the pages are blank! They’re all blank.    Arthur, Francine, Brain, Buster and Muffy look down from a painting.

Kids: (laughs)

Prunella: No-o-o-o!

Title Card: Fortune Teller

A long line has formed outside of a bookstore at midnight. Arthur, Buster and Brain are near the beginning.

Arthur: Only three more minutes till midnight. I wish they'd open already.

Brain: Me too. I'm so excited, I’ll probably read “Henry Skreever and The Cabbage Of Mayhem” in one day.

Arthur: Why isn’t Prunella here? She's been first in line ever since book two came out.

Buster: Maybe an ice-cream truck crashed in front of her house.

Arthur: Maybe she already got the book!   The clock strikes twelve.   Oh, tell me she didn't already get the book. I wanted to finish it first this time.    The door of the store opens. The children start walking in, except Brain.

Brain: The chances that Prunella has acquired an advance copy of the…   Wait for me!

#

Prunella stands in front of a mirror in her room wearing wizard’s robes. She paints a green key on her forehead. She hangs up stars on her ceiling and nails something to the staircase. Rubella hears the noise in her room.

Rubella: What's going on up there?   She comes up the stairs. Prunella is hiding inside a “Fat Lady” costume. OK, Pruny, what's the deal?

Prunella: What's the password?

Rubella: Let me guess. "Whatever"?

Prunella: Wrong. (chuckles) I am so ready. Only one more day.

#

Prunella stands in front of the school.

Prunella: Only five hours and…   looks at watch   …forty-six minutes to go.   She waves a wand.   “Hicklety picklety, pocklety pea. Lakewood School, I transform thee.”

In her imagination Lakewood Elementary turns into “Pigblisters School of Charms, Tricks & Spells”. A winged pig grazes outside, held on a leash by Mr. Morris. Mr. Ratburn’s car gets caught by a tree.

Mr. Ratburn: Mr. Morris! The Mangling Maple needs trimming again. It’s getting wild.

Arthur sticks his head into the picture. The fantasy ends.

Arthur: So, Prunella, how far did you get in Henry Skreever last night?   Arthur, Francine and Brain are all holding Henry Skreever books.

Francine: Yeah, you like on page a million?

Prunella: Er, no. I don't even have a copy yet.

Arthur+Francine: What??

Prunella: I've ordered a monogrammed, limited edition coming all the way from England.

Francine: I don't care how fancy my copy is, I just wanna finish the story first.

Prunella: Fat chance, Francine. My book’s coming today and even with your head start, I’m still gonna beat all of you.    She walks away.

#

In the school cafeteria Muffy shows three copies of Henry Skreever.

Muffy: Of course I have three. This one is for reading in the morning and this one is for reading at night.

Sue Ellen: What's the third one for?

Muffy: Everyone knows that in fifty years, this book will be worth thousands of dollars. I'm gonna sell it on that show “Antiques Jackpot”.   Prunella sits down beside her.    I also have the “Cabbage Of Mayhem”-watch. Isn't the artistry divine?   The watch shows Henry with braces. Muffy presses a button.

Watch: “I'm Henry Skreever. I'm on your wrist. We're friends.”

Prunella: Pff! It's a fake. Henry had his braces removed by the Oracle Of Orthodonture in Book One, “The Brick of Wonders”.

Muffy: Well, yeah but...

Prunella: I don’t know, Muffy, maybe you should be reading something easier like “Pretty Rainbow, Pretty Colors”. I still have mine from when I was little, if you want to borrow it.   She walks away.

Muffy: Crosswires do not borrow! We lend

#

Prunella and some other kids are playing soccer.

Prunella: “Houncery trouncery, victory splash, make me the star of a Soupitch match.”

In her imagination she is on a playing field with levitating vegetables and players riding flying carpets. Prunella flies by a tower with two old wizards while she gathers vegetables and drops them in a cauldron.

Wizard: Look at that fancy rug work, folks. The real challenge of course is to catch that hopping bouillon cube. Prunella's got to have complete control of her carpet. She's gone wall-to-wall.    Prunella dives with her carpet and catches the cube. Some other kids have loaded a catapult with large tomatoes. They shoot.    Uh-oh! Here comes a beefsteak tomato.

Prunella: Hh!    The tomato knocks Prunella off her carpet. She lies on the field with the cube hopping around her.

The fantasy ends. Prunella lies on the soccer field. She gets up.

Brain: Are you okay? It looked like you tripped twice.

Prunella: Huh?

#

Prunella sits in class looking at her watch.

Prunella: Hickery tickery dickery dum, Henry Skreever, here I come.      She runs out of the classroom.

#

Prunella come into her house.

Prunella: Mom! Mom!         Rubella carries a packet.

Rubella: She's not home, but there’s a pack…     Prunella grabs it from her and runs up to her room.

Prunella: Oooh! All the way from England.    She sits on her bed and unwraps a box. It contains a large book. She opens the book and finds the pages are printed in braille.    Oh!  What?? What is this?!   She finds a note in the box printed in braille and normal letters.  "Dear Friend, We hope you or your blind loved one will enjoy this special, monogrammed, limited, Braille edition of “Henry Skreever And The Cabbage Of Mayhem”, all the way from England. Sincerely, Neeka and Caldra Books, Speciality Division. She runs out.

#

Prunella is sitting at a table downstairs with a notebook and the phone. Dora Yonkers is on the other end doing her nails.

Dora Yonkers: Neeka and Caldra Books, New York office. Dora Yonkers speaking.

Prunella: I’m calling because I ordered a special monogrammed limited edition…

Dora Yonkers: And you got sent a Braille copy of the book instead? You're not alone, hon. You'll have your printed copy lickety split.

Prunella: Great! How soon?

Dora Yonkers: In about… three weeks    Prunella slumps on the table.    Hello, hello!

#

Prunella rides her bike past three kids reading Henry Skreever. She chains her bike in front of “Trident Books” as Muffy and Francine come out. Both are wearing fan articles.

Muffy: I finished chapter five last night. It was totally marvellicious.

Francine: Me too. Now I understand why Henry has cucumbers growing out of his nose.   Muffy holds up a lunchbox on which Henry has a cucumber on his nose.

Prunella: What?!

Muffy: Yeah, or this picture where he’s dusting off his grandmother's piano and a genie named Alfredo comes out.     The other side of the lunchbox shows just that.

Prunella: Stop! Please!

Francine: What’s the matter? Hasn't your super-rare, fancy-pants edition come yet?

Prunella: Muffy, you have three copies of the book. Please can I borrow one? I'll do anything.

Muffy: Sorry, I need them. If you need something to read, you can have my copy of “Pretty Rainbow, Pretty Colors”!   

Francine+Muffy: (laugh)  They walk away. Prunella sees a “Sold Out” sign in the bookstore’s window.

Prunella: Hh!

#

Prunella rides her bike past Arthur and Buster who are reading the same copy of Henry Skreever.

Arthur+Buster: (laugh)

#

At the library Miss Turner checks her computer. Prunella stands in front of her desk.

Miss Turner: I'm sorry. All thirty-two copies are out.   Prunella slumps.   Wait, here's something. “Coleslaw Recipes Of The Stars”. Interested?    Prunella walks away.

Prunella walks past kids discussing Henry Skreever.

Girl: Did you hear what happened to Henry?

Beulah: Oh, I couldn’t believe it when I read over that part.

Prunella: Oh! It's hopeless. Everybody knows what’s going on but me. I’m as lost as Perse-PHONE in “The Tweezers of Woe”.

Mr. Ratburn: I believe it’s pronounced Per-SE-pho-nee.    Mr. Ratburn is reading a newspaper.

Prunella: Huh?

Mr. Ratburn: Persephone. Taken from Greek Mythology. She was the daughter of Demeter, the goddess of the harvest.

Prunella: She's also a character in the new Henry Skreever book, which I'll never read because every single copy has been taken out or bought.

Mr. Ratburn: Come now, there must be some way to get, er, the Cabbage Of Mohair. I’m sure if you put your mind to it, something will click.

Prunella: Click! That's it!

#

At home Prunella types in "http:\\www.askfrank.net" on her computer.

Prunella: (types:)  Where can I get a copy of “Henry Skreever And The Cabbage Of Mayhem”?  (reads:)  “Cabbage Of Mayhem Collectibles? No. “Cabbage of Mayhem Fan Club?” No. “Let's go bowling with cabbages”?! This is ridiculous!

Computer: “You've just received an instant e-mail.”

Prunella: (reads:) “Prunella, I just finished reading chapter twelve, Arthur. P.S.: Henry turns himself into a kumquat.”   Bird’s eye view of the house.    Aughh!!

Meanwhile in the Reads’ living room Arthur and Buster sit at the computer.

Buster: I thought you were on chapter six.

Arthur: Actually, I haven’t even finished chapter three yet.

Buster: Wow. I gotta go!

Arthur: Why?

Buster: I’m on chapter four. I wanna keep my lead.    He runs out.

#

Prunella gets an E-Mail from Arthur.

Prunella: (reads:) “Prunella, I just finished reading chapter twelve, Arthur. P.S.: Henry turns himself into a kumquat.”       Aughh!!

Buster: I thought you were on chapter six.

Arthur: Actually I haven’t even finished chapter three yet.

Buster: Wow. I gotta go!

Arthur: Why?

Buster: I’m on chapter four. I wanna keep my lead.

#

Prunella looks at a bookshelf in the library.

Prunella: (sighs) I've got no other choice. Boy Scouts Manual, Braiding Rope... Ah, here it is! “How To Read Braille”.

A while later she sits at a library table with the book in front of her.

Prunella: (snores)   She slumps over the book.

Sue Ellen: Hey, Prunella! I heard you were learning Braille. How's it going?

Prunella: I can recognize the letter... X.

Sue Ellen: I know a little Braille. I could help you.

Prunella: Really?

Sue Ellen: Sure, just not now. I only have two more chapters to go.   She holds up Henry Skreever and leaves.

Prunella stands up with her Henry Skreever copy.

Prunella: I guess I could use it as a paperweight.

She bumps into Marina. Both girls fall down.

Marina: Oh.

Prunella: Oh.     Marina feels for her cane.

Marina: In bowling I think that’s called a strike.   They get up.     My name’s Marina.

Prunella: Oh, hello. I’m Prunella.    Marina picks up Henry Skreever.

Marina: Is this one mine?   Whoa, this is the new Henry Skreever.

Prunella: You read Braille?

Marina: Ya, don’t you?

Prunella: Oh, er… no. I’m not, um…

Marina: Blind? (chuckles) It’s all right to say it. How did you get your hands on a Braille copy of “The Cabbage of Mayhem”? I’ve been trying to get one for weeks.

Prunella: So you haven’t read it yet either?

Marina: Nope.   She feels the first page.    Oh, gosh, this is really cool.  Hey, Prunella, I know we just met and all, but since Braille’s not you thing, can I borrow it?

Prunella: You can have it.

Marina: Oh, I couldn’t take it for good. This one has your name on it.

Prunella: It does?

Marina: Here, give me your hand. It says:   Marina moves Prunella’s hand over the book cover.    "This book belongs to Prunella". If you want it I could read it to you.

Prunella: Oh, um, I kind of wanted to read it myself. I do all the voices out loud. But you can still borrow it.

Marina: Great. I’ll meet you’re here next Saturday to give it back.    She sits down at a table. Prunella walks away.    Oh, so soon, too. Henry Skreever, you don’t waste a second.    Prunella comes back.

Prunella: Wait, wait! What happened? Tell me!     She sits down at the table.

Marina: Okay then. From the top. “Henry awoke to the sound of a creaking, croaking voice. His enchanted dresser was talking again, and it had a strange tale to tell."

#

Marina reads to Prunella at Prunella’s home.

Marina: (reads:) "Chapter twelve: Henry and the Kumquat."

Prunella: Hey, Marina. You know, you do Persephone’s voice perfectly.

Marina: Without you I’d still be saying Perse-PHONE.   Both laugh.   Would you pass the pumpkin juice please.