Poor Muffy/Transcript

Poor Muffy

Writer: Ken Scarborough

Storyboard Artist: Gerry Capelle

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Mrs. Crosswire tests her daughter for allergies. She holds a wad of cash in front of her nose.

Mr. Crosswire: Not funny, Millicent! No Crosswire was ever allergic to money.

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Muffy has moved into Francine’s room. She makes Francine push a wardrobe.

Muffy: No, a little more to the left. That's perfect. Now let's go back to the statue.

Francine: Muffy!

Muffy: What?

Francine: I’m not your servant, you know!

Muffy: I’m sorry, Francine. I just wanted your room to look perfect. Can you ever forgive me?

Francine: Sure. Sorry, I yelled.

Muffy: Me too. Now just move the statue a little to the left.      Francine looks furious.

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Mrs. Frensky: Sure, kiddo. It’s called leftovers.

Muffy: I call it vomitrocious.

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Muffy: There’s something wrong with your TV. You only get three channels.

Francine: Yeah. We can get one more, but you have to put the antenna on your head and dance around. Want to give it a try?

They walk out of the house.

Muffy: No VCR, no video games. I think we studied this period in school. Pretty soon we invent the wheel, right?

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While Francine is in the bathtub, Muffy talks to Mr. Frensky.

Muffy: Mr. Frensky, I’ve been thinking. Why doesn’t your family have as much money as my family does?

Mr. Frensky: That’s a good question. All I know is there are some perfectly nice people who are rich and some equally nice people who aren’t. Besides, what would I do with money. Could I buy a better family.

Muffy: No, but you can get more TV channels.

Mr. Frensky: Well, I think I could live without that. I’d rather spend my time with Francine and her friends.   Francine jumps him from behind. He falls on Muffy’s bed.     You got me!

Muffy: This is all very heartwarming, but you're hurting my feet.

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Muffy has Bailey describe the events of a TV show over the phone.

Bailey: And now the little girl jumps on the pony's back... and now the pony has begun to fly... and now there's a rainbow...

Muffy: Give it a rest, Bailey. It's just not the same.

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Muffy has resolved to leave. Francine is doing her homework.

Mr. Frensky: I guess we were just too much for Muffy.

Francine: Don’t call her that. If you have to talk about her, her name is Muff-rotten-stinkweed-cross-wired-spit.

Mr. Frensky: Wow, strangely enough rotten-stinkweed-spit is my own middle name. Do you think we could be related?

Francine: Daddy, please.      

The telephone rings. Francine picks it up. The call is from Muffy’s cell phone, though Muffy is only a few feet away.

Muffy: Hello, I just want to tell you I’m leaving, and if I die sneezing I hope you’re happy.

Mr. Frensky: May I speak to her? Hello? Muffy? Look, if you leave, who’s gonna play football with us.

Francine: Oh please!

Muffy: Tell Francine I heard that.

Mr. Frensky: I just wish you’d reconsider.

Muffy: Oh, okay. I’ll stay.

Francine: Whoa, whoa, whoa, aren’t you gonna ask me if you can stay?

Muffy: Excuse me, Mr. Frensky, someone wants to talk to me. Okay, Francine, am I allowed to stay?

Francine: No! You aren’t!   For the first time, Muffy looks genuinely shocked.   You’ve been rude and selfish, Muffy Crosswire!

Muffy: W-what?

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Later Francine is in bed. Mr. Frensky sits by her.

Francine: Maybe I shouldn’t have been so mean to Muffy, but she didn’t care about anybody but herself.

Mr. Frensky: Maybe it seemed that way, honey, but maybe Muffy’s just not used to living in a house with different rules. It might be a good thing for you two to talk about it in school tomorrow.

Francine: I hope she doesn’t sneeze to death before then.

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Francine: I know, Muffy can stay at my house.

Muffy: What happened to the electricity?!

(the lights keep flickering as Muffy is running too many electronics and appliances at once in the bathroom, and then everything dims a bit as Muffy looks surprised, and then the power goes out and the screen goes completely black)

Muffy: Aaaaah!

Francine: Muffy!

Muffy: Francine, I wanted to tell you, I'm sorry I was so rude. I really did like staying at your house.

Muffy: I even started to miss leftovers. The hotel wouldn't make for me.