Play it Again, D.W./Transcript

Intro

Arthur lies on his bed looking annoyed.

Arthur: It's no big surprise when my sister D.W. does something annoying. Like the one time in her life she beat me at checkers.

Flashback: Arthur and D.W. play checkers in the treehouse.

D.W.: I won! I beat you! Haha! Yeah, Momma! In your face! Sweet victory! You loser!

She jumps up and down while Arthur looks annoyed.

Flashback: Arthur, his mom and D.W. walk into the Sugar Bowl where most of Arthur’s friends are.

D.W.: I beat Arthur! Imagine that! A little kid like me beat Arthur.

Arthur: (groans) He blushes.

Flashback: It is summer. Arthur and D.W. sit in a paddling pool in the yard. Mrs. Reads holds Kate’s feet into the water.

D.W.: You should have been there, Kate. I jumped his king and won the game!

Flashback: It is fall. D.W. talks to Grandma Thora while Arthur and his dad rake leaves.

D.W.: He didn't even see it coming. What a pushover!

Arthur holds his ears and shakes his head.

Flashback: It is winter: D.W. talks to her parents who are building a snowman while Arthur pulls Pal and Kate on a toboggan.

D.W.: I was checker champ and Arthur was checker chump!

The flashbacks end. Arthur sits up on the bed.

Arthur: But nothing ever in the entire history of my whole life has ever been as bad as this!

D.W. stands in the door holding a CD player.

Joe Fallon (on CD): [sings] “Crazy bus, crazy bus, riding on the crazy bus. Riding up, riding down, and driven by a funny clown…”

Arthur: (groans)

He holds a pillow over his head and lets out his usual scream.

~~~

Episode

~~~

A bird sings outside. Arthur wakes up and gets out of bed. He and Pal go to the window and look at the birds.

Arthur: It's a perfect morning! He hears music from the next room. That song. It's that song again!

~~~

Arthur, now in his day clothes, makes a check mark on a flipboard in the living room. There are now 200 marks on that page

Joe Fallon (on CD): “Crazy bus, crazy bus, riding on the crazy bus. Riding up, riding down, and driven by a funny clown…”

Arthur counts through several flipboard pages.

Arthur: 532! She's played it 532 times this week.

~~~

Arthur eats cereal at the breakfast table. D.W. comes in with the CD player.

Joe Fallon (on CD): “Crazy bus, crazy bus, riding on the crazy bus…”

Arthur’s cereal and juice start vibrating.

Arthur: What happened to the headphones I gave you?

Joe Fallon (on CD): “Riding up, riding down, and driven by a funny clown…”

D.W. puts the radio on the table.

D.W.: They broke! Don't you just live this part?

She dances through the kitchen. Mrs. Read comes in.

Joe Fallon (on CD): “Wacky goony, goofy, spoony, high as a plane or a balloon-y. Crazy bus, come with us, as we ride, ride, ride, ride, ride…”

Mrs. Read: D.W., can you turn that off during breakfast, honey?

D.W. turns it off.

D.W.: You should listen to it more. You'll learn to like it.

Arthur shakes his head. D.W. pours herself cereal.

D.W.: (hums “Crazy Bus”)

Arthur: Mom! Now she's humming it!

~~~

Later, Arthur practices throwing hoops in front of the garage while D.W. and the Tibbles play in the sandbox.

Timmy: (makes truck noises)

Arthur: Finally, quiet.

He throws the ball. While trying to get the rebound, “Crazy Bus” starts playing and the ball falls on Arthur’s head.

Arthur: (grunts)

Joe Fallon (on CD): “Crazy bus, crazy bus, riding on the crazy bus…”

Timmy: I can sing louder than you.

Tommy: No, you can't!

Timmy: (sings:) “Slappy, pappy, goofy, goofy…”

Tommy: (sings:) “Slappy, goofy, a balloony, driving, biding, crazy, crazy…”

Timmy+Tommy: (sing:) Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy...

Arthur talks to his dad who is cleaning the garage.

Arthur: How can you stand it?

Mr. Read pulls out earplugs.

Mr. Read: Excuse me?

~~~

Later, Arthur reads a comic book in his room with Pal lying beside him. D.W. comes.

D.W.: Arthur, know what I have? She holds some tickets. Tickets to Crazy Bus live!

Arthur: Who would go to that?

D.W.: You would. We're all going! Just like when we all went to… "Bionic Bunny on Ice"!

She points to a poster on Arthur’s wall. Then she dances out of the room.

Arthur: (groans.)

~~~

A large, inflatable Crazy Bus flies over the Elwood City Arena. The Reads drive on to the parking lot.

David Read: Last stop. Everybody out.

Arthur comes out of the car wearing a boater and a fake elephant’s trunk.

Mrs. Read: Arthur?

Arthur: Shh! If any of my friends' little brothers and sisters recognize me, I'll never live it down. Call me "Steve".

Mrs. Read hides a smile.

~~~

The Reads sit inside the arena. D.W. is wearing a Crazy Bus shirt and hat. Arthur grits his teeth. Mr. Read eats popcorn.

D.W.: Yippee!

Mr. Read: You want any popcorn, Arthu... uh... Steve?

Arthur holds his trunk up with one hand and eats popcorn with the other.

Kate: (laughs)

D.W.: Actually, that trunk is a big improvement!

Mrs. Read: A... er, Steve, isn't that Buster?

Buster walks up to them and waves at the Reads.

Arthur: Oh, no!

He freezes in his seat and tries to not be noticed.

Buster: Hi! Hey, great trunk, Arthur!

D.W.: He wants to be called "Steve".

Arthur: So you got stuck coming here with your little...? Wait! You don't have a little brother or sister.

Buster: That's right... "Steve".

Arthur: Then, what are you doing here?

Buster: Ever since I heard D.W. playing it, He puts on a Crazy Bus hat. …I'm crazy for Crazy Bus!

Arthur does his trademark gasp as his fake elephant trunk shoots up in shock.

Buster: Come to my house after the show. We could play the CD.

Arthur looks shocked.

In his fantasy, Arthur sits inside the Crazy Bus with his family, and classmates.

All: “…riding down, driven by a funny clown. Wacky goony, goofy, spoony, high as a plane or a balloon-y.”

Arthur screams and bangs at the back window.

Arthur: Help!

All: “Crazy bus, come with us, as we ride, ride, ride, ride, ride. It's a crazy bus, not a schmazy bus, don't make a fuss, just come with us...“

The fantasy ends.

~~~

Another day, D.W. dances with her teddy bear in her room.

Joe Fallon (on CD): “…gooey, chewy, fooey, dewey, absolutely bus-a-looey. Crazy, lazy, crazy, crazy bus.”

Arthur comes in with a book.

Arthur: D.W., I'm trying to do my homework! And there's no such word as busalooey. If you don't stop, I'm gonna wreck that C.D.!

D.W. grabs the CD player and runs out of the room.

D.W.: Mom!

~~~

Meanwhile In the living room, Mrs. Read searches through her CD collection. Mr. Read joins her.

Mr. Read: I wouldn't have promised to bring the music to the party if I had known I lost it.

Mrs. Read pulls out a CD called “1978 – Songs You Can’t Believe You Liked”.

Mrs. Read: Found it.

Mr. Read: Great!

D.W. runs in with her still running CD player.

D.W.: Mom! Arthur's gonna wreck my Crazy Bus.

Mrs. Read: Turn it off! I can't hear you!

Mr. Read covers his ears. D.W. turns off the music and takes out the CD.

Mr. Read: Arthur?

D.W.: Mom and Dad say if you touch it, then they'll adopt you to another country without TV!!

Mrs. Read: D.W., wash up for dinner.

D.W.: What were they thinking when they invented brothers? What a dopey idea.

~~~

Later, Arthur sits on his bed and holds Pal.

Arthur: And now I can't watch TV because I said I'd wreck her CD. So, I have to sit in here and listen to that song through the walls over and... It's quiet! What's that sound? It's the birds. Wow, I guess D.W.'s finally giving me a break.

D.W. stands in her room and screams.

D.W.: {screams}

The parents come to the foot of the stairs.

Mrs. Read: D.W., are you alright?

Mr. Read: What's wrong?

D.W. comes running down the stairs with the CD player.

D.W.: {screams} Crazy Bus is gone! I left it on the thing and it’s gone. Gone!

Mr. Read: Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.

D.W.: I know! Arthur took it.

D.W. and the parents stand in Arthur’s room.

Arthur: I didn't!

Mr. Read: Honestly, Arthur?

Arthur: I didn't take it, Dad. Really!

D.W.: Yeah, like you didn't take my snowball out of the freezer!

Arthur: Let's not start that again.

D.W. leans against her mom’s legs.

D.W.: (sobs) Life is so unfair!

~~~

At night, Mrs. Read walks into D.W.’s room.

D.W.: Mommy? I can't sleep because I'm starting to forget how the song goes.

~~~

Arthur, Buster, and Francine ride a row boat on the lake, while the rest of the Read family set up a picnic on the bank. D.W. keeps staring at Arthur.

Francine: She's giving me the creeps, Arthur. Why don't you just give her the CD back?

Arthur: I don't have it. Don't you believe me?

Francine: Mm-mmm.

Buster: I bet an ancient race of squid people took it to their hidden grotto far beneath the sea!

In his fantasy, two squids stand outside an underwater cave. One holds a top hat.

Squid 1: Hey Florence, you got a Crazy Bus CD?

Squid 2: No, but I sure wish I did.

Squid 1+2: “Absolutely bus-a-looney crazy crazy crazy crazy bus!”

Clams: Crazy bus! Crazy bus! Crazy bus!

~~~

In the evening, the parents say goodbye to Arthur, D.W. and Catherine who is babysitting.

Mr. Read: While we're out, I expect you to be on your best behavior for Catherine.

D.W.: (to Arthur) I know you have it!

Mr. Read: Okay?

Arthur+D.W.: Yes.

D.W. watches the parents leave through the window.

D.W.: Good! They're gone!

~~~

Arthur goes to the computer with a CD-ROM. D.W. pops out of a box.

Arthur: Augh!

D.W.: I caught you! Give it back.

Arthur: D.W.!

Both pull at the CD.

Arthur+D.W.: (struggle)

Catherine comes in. Arthur and D.W. freeze with D.W. hanging onto the CD with her feet off the ground.

Catherine: Time out! I'm trying to do my vocabulary homework. What's causing this vexation?

Arthur: Huh?

D.W.: We're not on vacation. We live here.

Catherine: Vexation, it means "trouble". What's the trouble?

D.W. loses her grip and falls to the ground.

D.W.: Oof. The trouble is that's mine!

Arthur: Is not! It's a game I borrowed from The Brain.

He puts the CD in the computer and starts the game.

Narrator (on computer): Captain Smudge vs. Drainboy! With 3-D drain clearing action!

Catherine: Phenomenal!

D.W.: (mumbles) I know he took it.

She leaves.

~~~

Arthur wants to put D.W.'s toy opossum in her closet. D.W. is waiting inside.

D.W.: I caught you! The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.

Arthur: You left your possum outside. I was putting it away.

He puts the possum on a shelf and closes the closet with D.W. inside.

D.W.: You're gonna make a mistake! And when you do, I'll catch you. Just you wait!

~~~

Arthur gets a drink from the refrigerator. He notices D.W. spying on him with a telescope. He goes to Catherine who is doing homework in a living room armchair.

Arthur: D.W.'s haunting me.

D.W. pops out from behind the armchair.

Catherine: (gasps)

D.W.: Maybe it's your guilty conscience that's bothering you.

Catherine: D.W., why don't you sit with me.

D.W. sits beside her.

~~~

Arthur goes to his room and finds it a complete mess.

Arthur: (screams)

He goes down to Catherine and D.W.

Arthur: D.W. tore my room apart! (wiggling angrily) She touched all my stuff! Tell her to stop touching my stuff.

D.W.: I was looking for my Crazy Bus!

Catherine: This calls for some Solomon-like wisdom.

~~~

Catherine has divided the staircase by sticking duct tape to the ground.

Catherine: (hums)

She does the same in the living room. Arthur and D.W. sit on opposite ends of the divided couch.

Catherine: D.W., you stay on that side. And Arthur, you stay on that side. No more bothering each other. (She leaves) Boy, I'm good.

Arthur reaches for his jacket which lies on D.W.’s end of the couch. D.W. tugs at it.

Arthur: Give me my jacket!

D.W.: It was on my side! Why do you want it so bad unless my Crazy Bus is in it?

Arthur: I don't have your stupid Bus!

D.W.: It's not Stupid Bus, it's Crazy Bus. Stupid Bus is a lame puppet show.

~~~

Meanwhile, the Reads are in someone’s living room with other adults. He puts a CD into a player.

Mr. Read: Here's the music I promised. The songs we danced to in high school.

He starts the CD and Crazy Bus starts playing. Everybody looks surprised.

Joe Fallon (on CD): “Crazy bus, crazy bus, riding on the crazy bus…”

Mr.+Mrs. Read: D.W.'s CD?

~~~

Back at the Read house, Arthur and D.W. both tug at the jacket. Pal helps by tugging at Arthur’s pants.

Arthur: Pal, stop it!

The phone rings. Catherine comes in with it.

Catherine: D.W., telephone!

D.W. lets go and Arthur is sent flying backwards into the hallway closet.

Arthur: Oof!

D.W. answers the phone.

D.W.: Hello? I can't hear you!

Mrs. Read is at the party. All the other grown-ups are dancing what looks like the Macarena to Crazy Bus.

Mrs. Read: We found your CD, your father accidentally took it!

She hangs up and covers her ears.

Catherine helps Arthur who is lying in the closet. D.W. dismantles the tape.

Arthur: What are you doing?

D.W.: Unlike you, I realized that the only way for two people to stop fighting is for one of them to say, "Stop." I'm forgiving you.

Arthur: This is a trick, I know that this is a trick!

He shakes his fist which has a boot on it.

Catherine: Aren't you happy that your Mom found your CD?

Arthur: (growls)

D.W. smiles.

~~~

Later that day, the Reads stand in D.W.’s room and Mrs. Read hands D.W. her CD.

Mrs. Read: You can enjoy your music, but it isn't right to annoy anyone else with it.

D.W.: I know. I don't even wanna play that CD anymore.

She walks out.

Arthur: Wow, That's amazing! D.W. must be growing up or something.

Arthur walks into the living room where D.W. puts a tape into the VCR.

D.W.: Arthur, look what Grandma Thora gave me!

She turns on the video. An animated Crazy Bus drives up to the screen.

Announcer (on video): Crazy Bus: The Motion Picture. Two full hours of your favorite wacky song. More fun than you can stand!

Joe Fallon (on video): “Crazy bus, crazy bus, riding on the crazy bus…”

Arthur: Mom!

He runs out. D.W. starts dancing.

Announcer (on video): Crazy Bus: The Motion Picture. More fun than a lighting fixture. Beginning, middle, and an end! See it more times than your friends. Play it again, and again, and then play it one more time again! It's crazy!