Muffy and the Big Bad Blog/Transcript

Arthur Read: Have you ever been with someone who...

Muffy Crosswire: Wait! Wait! Slow down!  Arthur is saying, "Have you ever been with someone who..."  OK, you can keep going!

Arthur: ..someone who has to write down everything that happens?

Muffy: "Someone who has to write down everything that happens?"

Arthur: Stop!  I'm TRYING to play tennis!

Muffy: Arthur misses the shot.  Your backhand needs some work.

[ARTHUR GRUNTS]

Muffy: Arthur grunts when he serves.

Arthur: What?! No, I don't!

Muffy: Now Arthur is losing his cool.

Arthur: I am not losing my cool!  I just don't like you writing down every single thing I do!  Argh!

Muffy: Arthur, I think you would do a lot better if you pay more attention to the game.  Ohh!

Muffy: Excuse me! Excuse me! I have an announcement!  This holiday weekend, I will be going to Costa Rica!  If you want to learn more about my exciting adventures, you can visit my new blog.

Mr. Ratburn: Thank you, Muffy. I'll try to swing by. Can I bring anything?

Brain: Blog is short for weblog.  When you blog, you write your thoughts in a computer file and post them on a website for others to read.

Mr. Ratburn: Fascinating. I have to write this down.

Muffy: As I was saying, even though none of you can afford to come with me, don't feel bad - just read the Muffington Post!

Trip: Hey, hey, I'm Trip. Can I help you find something?  A USB port, peripherals, MP3s?

Mr. Ratburn: I'm looking to get a new computer.  One that can connect me to...the... internet.

Trip: They all do that. What kind of connection do you have now?

Mr. Ratburn: Er...none, actually. I do have a telephone.

Trip: A newcomer like you should start with our most...user-friendly version.  It's pricey, but well worth the expense.

Mr. Ratburn: All right, class.  Your next project will involve research on a favourite author.  Now...

Muffy: I'm back!

Arthur: How was Costa Rica?

Buster: Was it rainy?

Binky: Was it as great as you said in your blog?

Brain: How did you get to blog so much?

Muffy: Now, now. I know you have lots of questions about my trip, and I promise to answer them all later - on my blog.

Binky: Did you need to learn Costa Rican?

Muffy: Binky! They speak Spanish there. I think.  Anyway, just post your questions on my blog.  Even though I'll only have time to respond to the best ones.

Buster: "The response to my blog was overwhelming.  Many of you commented that my blog could change the face of blogging."

Arthur: Now she's blogging about...blogging?!

Mr. Ratburn: Where are those instructions?  This is it?  But there's no writing on it.  Ah, I probably have to put it in the computer.  But how do I turn the computer on without reading what's on this silver disc?  It's a paradox!

Muffy: And with the MySmartphoney, I can connect to the internet anywhere!

Francine: Cool! Can you get on the internet now?

Muffy: I've been on since I got up. In fact, I should write about this right now in my blog.

Francine: What are you writing?

Muffy: You'll just have to wait and see!

Francine: Hm.

Muffy: Hey! Where'd they go? Probably running home to read my blog.

Muffy: [GASPS] But...I was in the middle of a post!

Mr. Ratburn: You can have this...calculator back at the end of class.

[BELL RINGS]

Mr. Ratburn: This is indeed a fascinating device.  But it's now allowed in the classroom.  And you need to do other things in life besides blogging.

Muffy: That's true!  If I don't do other things, I won't have anything to blog about! Thanks!

Francine: Can we PLEASE do something else?

Muffy: Hold on! I missed a lot of post today when Mr Ratburn took my phone.

Francine: But I came over to your house to do something together!

Muffy: OK! Let's read my next post together!

Francine: I'd rather just talk to you.

Muffy: Oh, Francine. Talking is so 20th century!

Francine: [SIGHS]

Mr. Ratburn: All right. Booting up, and...Huzzah! I'm connected to the internet!  Computer: 'You have 17 new messages.'

Mr. Ratburn: My, that was fast.  "Earn money from home without doing any work"?  Now THERE'S an idea!

Muffy: So, has everyone read my blog today?

Francine, Buster and Binky: [SIGH]

Muffy: Why not? I wrote about the colours I'm thinking of for the new curtains in my room.

Buster: Muffy, your blog is getting a little...boring.

Muffy: [GASPS]

Binky: You can't just write that you had a salad for lunch.  Who wants to read that?!

Francine: A blog needs to have an angle. Something people CARE about.

Francine: Jules Verne began his career writing for Opera.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Muffy: Francine, I found an angle, just like you said!  Are you at your computer?

Francine: Yeah, but...

Muffy: Go to my blog!  It's important!

Francine: [SIGHS]

Francine: "Your humble blogger dissed by BFF. Take the poll - Was Francine right or wrong to refuse to read her best friend's blog? Vote now!"?!  Ooh! I can't believe her!  "Dear Muffy, you have no right to take a poll about whether I should read your silly blog."

Buster: I don't think there was anything wrong with your e-mail to Muffy - No matter what the polls say.

Francine: How do you know what was in my e-mail?

Buster: Muffy posted it on her blog.

Francine: She what?!

Muffy: Francine, that fight we had was great!  It generated the most traffic I've had in a week!

Francine: (That was just between you and me! Can't anything be private?!)

Muffy: That's a good topic for discussion! I'll post it!

Buster: My mom says, "Never put anything in an e-mail that you wouldn't want on the front page of a newspaper."

Francine: Newspaper! That's it!

Brain: Taking the Frensky Star online makes good business sense.  All set - the online edition is up and running.

Francine: "It has long been the policy of the Frensky Star to speak out against injustice.  Therefore, we must condemn a new bully of the blogosphere."

Brain: Aren't you supposed to cover news?

Francine: Our motto is "the latest in Elwood City news and opinion."

Brain: But that's ALL opinion. Where's the news?

Francine: I've got it!  "Breaking news - The Frensky Star is now online!"

Muffy: "Bully of the blogosphere"?!  Ha! "Some people aren't just bad friends.  They're also copycats.  How much of a copycat do you think Francine is?  Copycat-ish, very copycat-ish or extremely copycat-ish?  Vote now!"

Francine: The nerve!  "Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, The Muffington Post hits a new all-time low."

[PHONE BEEPS]

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

Arthur and Buster: [GASP]

Mr. Ratburn: "Dear N. Ratburn, Congratulations!  You have won a great deal to buy swamp land in Florida." Goody!  Close... No! Not more windows. Close! Close!

Arthur: Have you been following Francine and Muffy's feud on the Internet?

Buster: It's better than the time the bionic bunny battled Darth Bunny in the 7th dimension.

Arthur: Don't you feel bad that you're enjoying their fight so much?

Buster: I felt bad for enjoying Bionic Bunny's galactic exile, but that didn't stop me from watching it.

Francine: I did not. You started it.

Muffy: I was just blogging.

Francine: You wrote that I wasn't your best friend any more.

Muffy: You wrote that I betrayed your trust.

Francine: Well, you did!

Brain: Hey, guys! You've got to come look on the library computers.  There's a whole website devoted to Muffy and Francine's feud!

Both Francine and Muffy: What?

Brain: "And the funniest part is they're both doing the same thing they're accusing the other one of." Signed, Mr Chatterblog.

Muffy: He has no right to say those things about us.

Francine: Who is this Mr Chatterblog anyway?

Binky: So, do you like my blog?

Francine: You?

Muffy: You?

Binky: Hey, I call them as I see them. I already got 112 hits.

Muffy: We don't need to take this, do we, Francine?

Francine: No, we don't.  From now on, if I insult you it's going to be in private.

Muffy: Ditto!

Arthur: "Frensky Star and Muffington Post announce merger."

Muffy: That's right! We're pooling our resources.

Francine: And we're starting a new advice column called ‘She Said, She Said’.

Muffy: You send in your problem and get two opinions about what to do.

Mr. Ratburn: Muffy! You were completely ahead of the curve on this internet thing.  My new Boysenberry allows me to post from just about anywhere.

Francine: You're writing a blog, Mr Ratburn?

Mr. Ratburn: It's called The Rat's Nest. It's mainly devoted to correcting common solecisms and grammatical errors.  You should post your comments.

Francine: Er...maybe later, Mr Ratburn.

Muffy: Want to go to the park?

Francine: I thought you'd never ask.

Mr. Ratburn: There are also some delightful puns on my blog.  And word problems and photos from my trip to Reykjavik.