Mind Your Manners/Transcript

Introduction

The phone rings in the Tibbles’ house. Mrs. Tibble answers it.

Mrs. Tibble: Hello?   Oh, hi, Thora.     The movies? Oh, I'd love to. Oh, but I'd have to find a sitter for the boys. The last one quit. I don't know why.  

Tommy and Timmy run by. Tommy is wearing spaghetti on his head.

Timmy: Come on, Tommy, it's my turn to wear the spaghetti.

Tommy: No!

Mrs. Tibble: Extreme Sitters? No, I've never heard of them. I'll look at their website and call you right back.   She hangs up the phone and picks up a laptop computer. She types “Extreme Sitters” on the WooHoo search page and gets a page with several pictures of sitters.    Hmm. Gus Grim, child trainer.   She clicks on his picture. A video starts of a man dressed like a lion tamer and holding a chair and a whip.

Gus Grim: Like all pack animals, children want to know who's in charge. That’s why I believe in setting the ground rules early on.

Mrs. Tibble: Oh my! That seems a little harsh. How about Shelley, the Singing Sitter?    She opens a video of a young woman in a hippie-style dress playing a guitar.

Shelley: (sings:) “If you're naughty and you know it you should stop!” Please? “If you're naughty and you know it you should stop!” Pretty please? “If you're naughty and you know it, you should really try to forego it. If you're naughty and you know it you should stop!” I'm asking nicely.  The twins look over their grandmother’s shoulder.

Tommy: Hey, is that our new baby sitter?

Timmy: I'd like to fill her shoes with putty.

Tommy: Me first.

Timmy: I'm going to get you!

Tommy: (laughs)

Timmy: Run for your life!        They chase each other. Mrs. Tibble picks up the phone.

Mrs. Tibble: Hi, Thora. I, er, think I'll be staying home tonight.    There is a loud smashing noise.    Thanks anyway.      She hangs up and looks disappointed.

#

The preschoolers have lunch. The Tibbles sit with D.W.

Tommy: She didn't want to go to a restaurant.

Timmy: I can’t figure out why.     He bites into his sandwich and drips red jam on his shirt. Tommy puts his finger in the jam and sucks on it.

D.W.: Probably because you two are slobs.

Tommy: No, we're not. Are we?

D.W.: You're the slobbiest slobs I've ever met. If you want to eat in a restaurant, you need table manners.   The Tibbles give each other blank looks.    You know, like eating with a fork and knife. Using a napkin. That sort of thing

Timmy: Okay. So teach us.

D.W.: Forget it, I'm done teaching Tibbles!     She walks away.

Tommy: Fine! We’ll just teach ourselves!