Messy Dress Mess/Transcript

Arthur stands in his room and puts on his jacket.

Arthur: There are some things you really don't want once someone else has used them.

Flashback: The Tibbles ring the Reads’ doorbell. D.W. answers.

Tommy: We brought you a present.

D.W.: Thanks.       

She takes a coloring book from Timmy.

Timmy+Tommy: (laugh)      

They run away. D.W. opens the book and finds that every page has been scrawled over.

D.W.: Hh!

Arthur (narrator): Like coloring books...

D.W.: ...for nothing!    

She goes back inside.

Flashback: Arthur walks into the bathroom wearing pajamas.

Arthur (narrator): Or...

Arthur: Hh!

Buster: Oh! Sorry, I forgot my toothbrush, so I'm borrowing yours.

Arthur (narrator): ...toothbrushes, or...

Flashback: In the locker room, Arthur, Buster and Binky are changing into gym clothes.

Arthur: Aw, I forgot my gym socks.

Binky: I have extras.       

He hands Arthur two smelly socks.

Arthur: Eww!

Arthur (narrator): Gym socks.

The flashback ends. Arthur picks up a newspaper in the hallway that Pal is chewing on. It now has a large hole.

Arthur: Or the newspaper - after Pal used it as a chew toy.

Ladonna suddenly stands in the hallway.

Ladonna: You think that's bad? I'd rather have any of those used things than what I got. Wait till you hear this story...

Arthur: Hey! Since when do you get to open the show?        

Ladonna shrugs.

~~~

Title Card: Ladonna dances on a cloud

~~~

In the park, Ladonna sings and dances for her mom and Bud.

Ladonna: (sings:) “And the world seemed to smile all around / so it wouldn't be proper / if made of silk were another, / my sweet little Alice blue gown.”    

Her mom and Bud clap.

Mrs. Compson: That sounded real sweet, Ladonna.        

They start leaving.

Bud: Mama, I want that hippo!    

He points to a hippo-shaped spring rocker.

Mrs. Compson: Bud, you already have a hippo. It's about this big and you use it in the bath, remember?

Ladonna: I'm the only person in Merry Magicals with a solo. No one else has one, just me. So… I can't be looking like something the cat dragged in.

Bud: We don't have a cat. Hey, let's get a cat, so it can drag Ladonna. I'd like to see that.

Mrs. Compson: She's just pulling your leg, Buddy.     

They walk over a zebra crossing and enter a shopping street.

Ladonna: Mama, you're not listening.

Mrs. Compson: I'm sorry, sugar. Go on.

Ladonna: What I'm trying to say is, I should have a new dress, something pretty, something special, something...   Hh! Something like that!             

She looks at a dress in a shop window. In her imagination, she is wearing the dress and dances on a cloud beneath a rainbow.

Mrs. Compson: You're right.

Ladonna: I am?

Mrs. Compson: You do need a new dress.      

Ladonna looks delighted.

~~~

Ladonna stands on a chair in the Compsons’ kitchen looking a lot less delighted. She is wearing an oversized dress (possibly Madison’s) which her mom is adjusting to her size.

Mrs. Compson: There. Now, isn't that pretty?    

Ladonna looks dejected.   

Mrs. Compson: Stand up straight, so I can get this hem done.

Ladonna: But this dress isn't new!       

Madison gets a pitcher of juice from the fridge.

Madison: It's new to you, sassafras.      

Ladonna gives her an angry look. Mrs. Compson continues working.

~~~

Later, Ladonna walks into her room with the new (for her) dress.

Ladonna: Arr!    (sighs dramatically)    

She slumps on the bed. Bud pops out from under it.

Bud: Hey, Ladonna. Have you seen my hippo?

Ladonna: I hate being the middle child. Just once, I'd like to be the first one to wear a new dress. This one's been passed around more than a worn penny. It's probably been in the family as far back as anyone can remember.

Ladonna imagines herself in a classical roman building, wearing the dress as a toga. The Canadian national motto “A mari usque ad mare” is written on the wall.

Ladonna (narrator): I bet the Romans had it first... Then it was handed down...

Ladonna stands in front of a mirror wearing the dress and a hairdo reminiscent of Elizabeth I of England.

Ladonna (narrator): ...and handed down...

Ladonna imagines herself in a speakeasy wearing a 1920s version of the dress. She starts dancing the Charleston.

Ladonna (narrator): ...and handed down...

Ladonna imagines herself floating outside a space station, wearing the dress as part of her spacesuit.

Ladonna (narrator): …and it'll keep getting handed down way into the future.    

Space Ladonna watches her reflection on a solar panel.

Ladonna: I never get anything new.

The fantasies end.

Ladonna: I can't be singing a solo wearing this old thing.      

She drops the dress to the ground. Bud picks it up.

Bud: Hey, careful with that. Someday it might be mine.

Ladonna: I'm not going to sing wearing that mess, and that's final. They'll just have to get someone to replace me.

~~~

Ladonna talks to Muffy, Jenna and Francine at her locker.

Muffy: Replace you? Why?

Ladonna: I don't have anything to wear.

Muffy: Hh! Is that all? Relax, I'll lend you something. I've been dying to give you a makeover since you came here.        

She pulls Ladonna away.

~~~

In her room, Muffy opens the door to her walk-in closet.

Muffy: Step into my office.

Ladonna: Wow!        

She looks at the great selection of clothes. Muffy pulls out her cell phone.

Muffy: We'll use my new Capri di Vapida clothing app.   

She takes a picture of Ladonna.   

Muffy: All we have to do is enter your skin tone, hair color, eyes, and it will pick out the perfect match for you. It's loading… it's loading...it's loading... it's loading...

Ladonna: Hh! I want that one!       

She points at a dress that looks exactly like the one in the store.

Muffy: That one? But... it's so new. Bailey hasn't even entered it into my database yet.    

Ladonna’s ears droop.     

Muffy: Never mind. It's for a good cause. One has to help those without style whenever one can.    

She brings Ladonna the dress.

Ladonna: Muffy, thank you so much! I'll be extra-special careful with it. I won't touch it, or wear it... I won't even look at it until the concert tomorrow night. It's going straight home and into my closet.     

She walks home with it.

~~~

At home, Ladonna hangs the dress in her closet. It seems to glow and sparkle.

Ladonna: Oh... Maybe I can try it on, just once. After all, I have to see if it fits.

~~~

Meanwhile, Bud finds a toy hippopotamus in a puddle in a flower bed.

Bud: There you are, Hippy. I should've known you'd be hiding in the mud.

~~~Ladonna stands admires herself in the mirror, wearing the dress.

Ladonna: (sings:) “And in every shop window I primped, passing by...”

Bud: Hey, Ladonna! Heads up! Hippy's coming to say hi!    

He throws the muddy hippo at Ladonna.

Ladonna: Augh!    

She picks a teddy bear off Madison’s bed and deflects the hippo. Then she dodges Bud’s muddy hands.

Ladonna: Get away!

Bud: I'm sorry!

Ladonna: You're filthy!

Bud: It was Hippy's fault.

~~~

When Ladonna runs downstairs, Madison is just getting juice from the frigde.

Ladonna: Ah!     

She slides on her knees under the pitcher and runs out of the house. She stops by the trashcans.

Ladonna: Phew...     

The Tibbles walk into the yard carrying mud.

Timmy+Tommy: (laugh)

Tommy: Hey, Ladonna. Want a mud pie?         

Ladonna picks up two trashcan lids and deflects the mud pies. She turns and deflects water from a car driving through a puddle. Then she turns again and deflects two more mud pies.

Tommy: Drat. We need more mud. Be right back.

Timmy+Tommy: (laugh)        

They leave. Ladonna puts the lids back and sees that the dress is still clean.

Ladonna: (relieved sigh)      

She sits down on a bench right in front of the house. Madison comes out with a glass of juice.

Madison: Careful, rutabaga! That bench was just painted.

Ladonna: (gasps)    

She jumps up and turns to see that there are paint stripes on the back of her dress.   

Ladonna: Noooo!       

She hangs her head.

~~~

Shortly afterwards, Ladonna paces in her room wearing her usual clothes.

Ladonna: Okay, Ladonna. You've got to tell Muffy the truth. Treat it just like ripping off a bandage. No do-si-doing around. Just fess up and take your licks.

~~~

The next day, Ladonna practices her excuse at her locker. She does not notice Muffy standing behind her.

Ladonna: So, anyway, we got this pygmy hippo from this zoo going out of business and he's as cute as a button. Name's Fred, but, well... Fred's kind of messy and...

Muffy: Jenna! Come here! Wait till you see what Ladonna's wearing tonight. Cute, cute, cu-ute!   

Ladonna backs against the locker.

Jenna: Oh! Did you get a new dress?

Ladonna: Um, yeah... About the dress, it... sure is cute... (nervous giggle)

Muffy: I know. I gave it to her. Don't I have great taste? And just think, you're going to be the first to wear it.        

Muffy and Jenna walk off.

Ladonna: Yup, and the last.  

Arthur comes.

Arthur: Oh, hey there! I couldn't find the eraser I borrowed from you yesterday, so I bought you a new one.     

He gives her the eraser and leaves.

Ladonna: That's it! I'll just buy the same dress and replace it. Muffy will never know the difference.

~~~

In the clothes store, Ladonna stands at the cashier with the dress.

Cashier: With tax, the total comes to...       

She shows Ladonna her calculator.

Ladonna: (gasps)

She runs out of the store, looking horrified.

Ladonna: How can one little dress cost so much money? It'll take years to pay Muffy back!

Ladonna imagines walking up to the Crosswire Mansion as an old lady with a rollator. An old Bailey answers, then Muffy comes to the door, also walking with a rollator.

Old Ladonna: Here's this week's payment for your dress.        

She gives Muffy a nickel.

Muffy: Only one hundred more years and you'll be paid off in full.

The fantasy ends.

Ladonna: What am I gonna do?

~~~

On the night of the performance, Buster looks through the curtain into the audience. Binky uses breath spray. Ladonna is wearing an overcoat and looking sad. Jenna walks up to her.

Jenna: Hey, there. Ready for your big solo? Come on, let's see that dress.

Ladonna: Um, actually, I'd rather...

Jenna: Make a big entrance? I get it.      

She walks away.

Ladonna: (gulps)  Something like that.

Miss Krasny gives a sign and the curtain opens to reveal Jenna, Arthur, Sue Ellen, Binky, Muffy, Buster, Francine and Brain. The audience claps. Jenna sees Ladonna hiding in the wings. She gestures to her and Ladonna takes off the coat, revealing the changed dress.

Jenna: Oh, that is cute!      

Ladonna walks to the front. Her family are sitting in the first row. Mrs. Compson takes a picture. Miss Krasny starts conducting from the wings and Ladonna begins her solo while the others hum.

Ladonna: (sings:) “In my sweet little Alice blue gown / when I first wandered down into town / I was so proud inside as I felt every eye / and in every shop window I primped, passing by / a new manner of fashion I'd found, / and the world seemed to smile all round. / So it wouldn't be proper / if made of silk were another / my sweet little Alice blue gown.”

She starts shyly, but gains confidence when Bud waves at her.

~~~

When the kids walk offstage, Muffy is waiting for Ladonna.

Muffy: Well, you have got some explaining to do.

Ladonna: I know, I'm sorry, I ruined your dress. I just tried it on to see if it fit and then I got paint on it, so I went to the store...     

Muffy opens her jacket to reveal that she is wearing the dress from the store.

Muffy: You mean this one? I bought one just like it, so we could be matchies.

Jenna walks by.

Jenna: Oh, that one's nice, too.

Muffy: What you mean, "too"?

Ladonna: Muffy, I'll pay you back for the one I messed up, I promise. It'll take me a hundred years, but Mama always says we Compsons have longevity in our family. My great-grandma Lina lived to be a hundred…

Muffy: Oh, please! I couldn't have worn the dress I lent you, anyway. It was robin's egg blue, which really isn't my color. This one is cerulean warbler. I'm upset because you didn't ask me for help. You've seen my closet. I could have given you another cute outfit to wear, like this one.      

She shows Ladonna something on her cellphone.

Ladonna: Hm. That's awful nice of you, Muffy, but my house isn't safe for highfalutin fashion. Besides, I think I'm more comfortable in my own clothes.   

The rest of the Compson family comes backstage. Mrs. Compson hugs Ladonna.

Mrs. Compson: You sang real pretty, sugar.

Bud: And you looked real pretty, too.

Mrs. Compson: Let me get a picture.

Ladonna: Wait! Get us both.        

She stands next to Muffy and they each put an arm around the other.      

Ladonna: Aren't we stylish? (giggles)        

Mrs. Compson takes a picture and the girls hug.