Happy Anniversary/Transcript

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Buster: We're just specks of dust floating in space! Aw, my great works have all been for nothing.

Arthur: Great works?

Buster: Yeah. Like those eighteen hotdogs I ate at the fair. I got first place. He points to a ribbon on his chest. Oh yeah. And I also saved a cat.

Mr. Ratburn: Changing the way you look at something can change the way you think and feel about it. That'll be the topic of your paper. Due Monday.

Buster: What?? Now I'm not just a speck of dust. I'm a speck of dust with homework on the weekend.

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Arthur sits on the couch with a Bionic Bunny action figure. His eyes are glued to the TV.

TV announcer: The episode you've all been waiting for. Where Bionic Bunny meets Dark Bunny. What is their strange connection? Find out tonight on the tenth anniversary Bionic Bunny special...

TV announcer+Arthur: ...when all will be revealed.

D.W.: Arthur!

Arthur: Hh! He drops the figure.

D.W.: Mom and Dad's juice is getting warm! And where are the waffles? It'll be lunchtime soon!

Arthur: I'm coming. I'm coming. He gets off the couch.

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Arthur toasts waffles and puts them on plates while D.W. impatiently taps her foot.

D.W.: Wait! Arthur puts the plates on a tray and adds an envelope. Meanwhile D.W. gets parsley from the refrigerator and puts small sprigs on the waffles. There! Now it's fancy. What's that? It's blocking the juice I poured.

Arthur: My card. He takes the card out of the envelope. (reads:) “Dear Mom and Dad. Happy tenth anniversary. Love, Arthur.” He puts the card back.

D.W.: That's it?? All you're giving them is a card? Did you even make that yourself?

Arthur: I picked it out and bought it with my allowance. Where's your present?

D.W.: Feast your eyes on this! She takes an aluminum plate with crude pictures of three heads out of her backpack.

Arthur: What is it?

D.W.: It's a family portrait. See? There's Mom, Dad, and me. Sorry, there wasn't enough glue for you. She puts the plate on the tray. And the best part is, it's tin. That's the official present of tenth anniversaries. Emily told me.

Arthur: That's not tin.

D.W.: It isn't?

Arthur: Nope. It's called a pie tin, but it's actualy made of aluminum. He puts his card in front of the plate. A completely different metal. So I guess your “portrait” is no more official than my card. He takes the tray.

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The parents are still in bed. Mrs. Read admires the card, Mr. Read the picture on the plate.

Mrs. Read: How sweet. Thank you, Arthur.

Mr. Read: And is this your beautiful creation, D.W.?

D.W.: Yes. But it's not your official tenth anniversary present. Arthur looks surprised. That's coming later.

Mrs. Read: Maybe you can work on it at Grandma Thora's. You're staying there tonight, remember?

D.W.: Oh, it'll be finished way before then. I just have to find the right materials. She gives Arthur an angry look.

Mr. Read: Ah. A night at “l'Auberge d'Aubergine”. I hear the duck à l'orange is amazing.

Mrs. Read: (French accent:) Only zee best for mon chéri. (giggles) The parents kiss.The children close their eyes.

Arthur+D.W.: Ew!

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Arthur is sitting at Buster's desk.

Arthur: (writes:) “If I were the size of an ant, this pencil would seem as tall as a tree.” Oh. He slumps on the desk. Buster comes in with a cheese sandwich on a plate. Buster, now isn't the time for a snack! We only have six hours before the special.

Buster: This isn't a snack. It's my homework. Or half of it.

Arthur: You're going to hand in a sandwich?

Buster: Not just any sandwich, Arthur. All it has on it is an old slice of Swiss without any mayo. Pretty bland, huh?

Arthur: Yeah, but what does that have to do with our homework?

Buster: If you hadn't eaten in three days, this would seem like a feast. See? That's the power of perspective.

Arthur: That's the power of your stomach.

Buster: I'll write a paragraph too, but this will be my visual aid. What have you written?

Arthur: Nothing. He crumples his sheet of paper. Everything I come up with is just like that movie we saw.

Buster: You could write something from the point of view of this piece of cheese. Think how cozy he must feel between two soft pieces of bread. Actually I think I'll use that. You can think of something else. Arthur picks up his backpack.

Arthur: Yeah, but not here. I have to go home.

Buster: (with full mouth:) Remember. Seven o'clock. Don't be late.

Arthur: You might want to make sure there's more cheese in your fridge. You just ate your essay. He goes out. Buster looks at his partly eaten sandwich. Bird's eye view of the Baxters' condo.

Buster: Nooo!!

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Arthur has brought a large bag with him.

Arthur: It's for my costume. Buster and I are dressing up as characters from Bionic Bunny. For the special.

D.W.: You should go as someone who ruins tenth anniversary presents. Everything was perfect until you told my about aloona-moon.

Mr. Read: I'm not even gonna ask.

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The Read family got lost with their van.

D.W.: This is all your fault!

Arthur: How is it my fault?

D.W.: I don't know yet. But I'll find out.

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Mr. Read: It's getting dark and we don't have a flashlight.

Arthur: Wait, I have something. He puts on a headband around his nose with two small lamps. It's part of my “Laser Nostrils”-costume.

D.W.: That's a costume?? Two flashlights up your nose?

Mr. Read: Why don't you leave it off for now. We wouldn't want to scare anyone away.

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Arthur: It's locked. He bangs on the door with his hands. Hello! Dad! Anybody!

D.W.: Is that the best you can do? You need to spend more time with the Tibbles. Step aside! She starts banging the door with her fists. Let us out! Let us out!

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D.W.: How much longer?

Mrs. Read: Just sit tight, honey. Jay will be back with the key soon.

D.W.: What kind of “soon” do you mean? The “five minute”-soon or the “soon you'll be all grown up”-soon?

Arthur: D.W., we've only been here twenty minutes.

D.W.: So? Twenty minutes is a long time. That's two timeouts. I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat in here? Arthur takes a tin off a shelf.

Arthur: (reads:) “Sampo canned pineapples in syrup”.

D.W.: I don't even like pineapples. I guess I'll have the syrup. Well, what are you waiting for. Open it!

Arthur: I can't. I don't have a can opener.

D.W.: No can opener?? What kind of older brother are you?! You're supposed to be prepared for these things. We could starve to death in here. And what about water? We have no water! And air! We're using it all up! Quick! Stop breathing so much! Hold one nostril! She holds one nostril shut and starts turning red. Arthur pats her back.

Arthur: D.W., we're going to be fine.

D.W.: You swear?

Arthur: I swear. Er, you want me to tell you a story? D.W. smiles. Okay. “Once there were three little pigs...”

D.W.: Heard it.

Arthur: All right. Um... “One day, Goldilocks was walking in the woods when...”

D.W.: ...she eats Baby Bear's porridge and she falls asleep in his bed. Next!

Arthur: Oh, why bother? You obviously know all the fairytales.

D.W.: Tell me a story about the Moronic Bunny special you miss.

Arthur: It's Bionic Bunny. And how can I tell you about the special if I didn't see it?

D.W.: You can make it up. Here's what could have happened... Fantasy: Two baby bunnies lie in cribs as a witch swoops in on a broomstick. Bubonic Bunny and that other bunny turn out to be twins who were separated at birth. One was stolen by an evil witch... The witch takes one bunny and flies away. A robot approaches the other bunny. ...the other was taken by a robot. The fantasy ends.

Arthur: Stop! That's not what happened at all!

D.W.: How do you know? You didn't even see it.

Arthur: I know because... it's the dumbest idea I've ever heard.

D.W.:Oh yeah?? Well, I'd rather listen to nothing than hear your boring story.

Arthur: Fine! I won't say another word!

D.W.:Fine!

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Dusty Buckets: This here Tonica is guaranteed to cure all your ills or my name isn't Dusty Buckets.

Mistral: Can it make hunger go away?

Dusty Buckets: Well, of course it can. Provided you take it regular-like with meals.

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Arthur: (reads:) I wanted to be watching TV with Buster. In fact, we all wanted something different that night. But we were stuck together as a family, and it turned out to be one of the best nights in my life. For me, perspective is realizing I'm part of something larger, like a family, a town, a country, a planet. And even though we all have our own plans, sometimes it's just good to be together.

Mr. Ratburn: Excellent, Arthur. You really gave that a lot of thought. Buster, would you like to go next? Buster finishes eating a sandwich.

Buster: Um... Can I go after lunch? I kind of misplaced my visual aid.

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Arthur and Buster walk out of school.

Arthur: So, what happened in the special? I've been dying to know.

Buster: Well, first of all, Bionic Bunny and Dark Bunny are – get this – brothers, and...

Arthur: Wait, don't tell me! Were they separated at birth by an evil witch?

Buster: Yeah, and a robot. How did you guess?

Arthur: Ohhh.