Emily Swallows a Horse/Transcript

Introduction

The preschoolers are gathered around Miss Morgan who plays an autoharp.

Kids: (sing:) “There was an old lady who swallowed a goat / Just opened her throat and swallowed a goat / She swallowed the goat to catch the dog / She swallowed the dog to catch the cat / She swallowed the cat to catch the bird / She swallowed the bird to catch the spider / That wriggled and tickled and wiggled inside her / She swallowed the spider to catch the fly / But I don't know why she swallowed that fly / Perhaps she'll die!" Instead of singing, Emily looks thoughtful.

Miss Morgan: "There was an old lady who swallowed a horse."

Kids: "She died of course!" (laugh)

Miss Morgan: Wasn't that fun, boys and girls? Okay, everyone, time for a nap. Find your places.

The kids roll out their mattraces.

Emily: I don't understand that song. Why did the old lady swallow a horse?

D.W.: To catch the goat.

Timmy: To catch the dog to catch the cat to catch the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and tickled...

Emily: I know all that. But why? Why'd she swallow the fly in the first place? That's gross!

Tommy: I don't know. I'd eat a fly if it was covered in chocolate.

Timmy: Would not!

Tommy: Would too! They roll on the floor fighting. D.W. drops a blanket over them.

D.W.: Emily, people do all sorts of strange things for no reason at all. Look at those guys! She points to the blanket. (yawns) She curls up and closes her eyes. Emily lies down and looks at the ceiling.

#

Arthur, D.W. and Kate are in the supermarket with their mother. Kate keeps dropping a bag of chips.

D.W.: I just know she's lying. I mean, who eats ice-cream when they're sick?

Arthur: I do. So do you. Everyone does.

D.W.: That's true... Okay, maybe it was the way she was scooping it, like she had something to hide .

Arthur: Maybe Marie-Hélène really is sick.

D.W.: Of course you would defend her, you are a snowball thief! Arthur stoops to pick up the chips. Looking over him, D.W. sees Marie-Hélène at the checkout. A-ha! There's you proof! Arthur looks, but Marie-Hélène has just gone.

Arthur: What? What am I looking at?

#

In her dream, Emily rides a talking, but otherwise non-anthropomorphic, horse through a dark forest during a thunderstorm.

Emily: Where are we going?

Horse: Anywhere we can! She's after us!

Emily: Who!

Horse: Her! A giant D.W. is coming after them.

D.W.: Come back here, you lying liar!

Emily: Hh! Faster, faster. She mustn't catch me. The horse stops at a cliff.

Horse: (neighs)

Emily: Oh, no! It's a dead end. What are we going to do?

Old Lady: Psst. Over here. I can help you. A lady is standing in front of a cottage by the cliff. Emily rides into the cottage.

#

Inside is a room with several covered dishes. The horse sits on a chair holding a teacup in its hooves. Emily looks out the window as the lady pours lemonade in a glass.

Old Lady: You poor dears. You must be famished. Running away from that giant.

Horse: Actually, I am quite peckish.

Emily: Are you sure we're safe here?

Old Lady: Oh, yes. Don't worry about a thing. I have magical powers that will protect you here. Why don't you try one of these? She uncovers a plate with several flies on it. Emily eats one.

Emily: It doesn't taste like anything at all. What is it?

Old Lady: A fly.

Emily: A fly?! I didn't want to eat a fly. Buzzing is heard from inside her belly. Aah! I can feel it buzzing!

Old Lady: Yes. They disagree with me too sometimes. Best thing for it is to eat one of these. She uncovers a plate with live spiders.

Emily: Hh!

Old Lady: And if the spiders upset you, you just chase it with a bird. She uncovers a plate with a crow that flies away cawing. Then a cat! Then a dog! Then a goat! She uncovers the other animals. Well, tuck in. Don't be bashful.

Emily: You're the old lady from that song! There's no way you could have eaten all these things.

Old Lady: Well... Oh... maybe I told a little fib, and then I couldn't stop telling them. (laughs) The roof is lifted off the cottage by the giant D.W.

Emily: Oh!

Old Lady: I... um... don't have magical powers either. D.W. grabs Emily.

Emily: Aaah!! I'm sorry, D.W. I don't know why I lied. Please! I'll give you the ball. D.W. closes the roof leaving the old lady and the horse alone.

Old Lady: I suppose it wasn't a complete lie. Who knows? I just might wind up eating a horse. She opens the oven door.

Horse: (neighs in fear)

Emily wakes up in her bed.

Emily: Hh! (breathes loudly) She drinks a glass of water

#

In her parents' bedroom, Emily touches her sleeping mother's shoulder.

Emily: Mom! I have to tell you something.

#

Emily is standing in front of the swingset at preschool. Timmy, Tommy and D.W. are sitting on the swings.

Emily: So then...I had to tell another lie to cover up the first lie, and it just kept getting bigger and bigger.

Tommy: So... there is no Hélène-Marie? Emily shakes her head.

Timmy: Oh. He takes out a blue and a red necktie. We were gonna give her these, so people wouldn't confuse her with Marie-Hélène.

Emily: I'm sorry, Timmy.

D.W.: But why did you lie to us in the first place? We're your friends.

Emily: Because I wanted this. Here, it's yours. You found it. She gives D.W. the ball.

D.W.: All that lying for a little rubber ball? You can keep it.

Emily: No way. After all the trouble it caused me?! I never want to see that thing again!

D.W. throws the ball down. It hardly bounces.

D.W.: It doesn't even bounce that well. Let's leave it here. Wanna play tag? You're it! She tags Emily, then she and the Tibbles run away. Emily hesitates for a moment, then she smiles and follows them.

James picks up the ball, looks arond, and surreptitiously puts it in his pocket.