Citizen Cheikh/Transcript

Arthur sits on the couch and plays a ‘Curse of the Moomies’ video game. The screen shows a sphinx with a cow’s head.

Arthur: Ooh, I've never been on this level before! Hm, I wonder what's in this urn?

His character throws an ankh at the urn and golden scarabs come out.

Arthur: No way! 500 golden scarabs! Jackpot!

He addresses the audience.

Arthur: Don't you just love surprises? Surprises are the best! Well... most of the time.

Flashback: Buster sits in a dentist chair.

Buster: What?! I have how many cavities? Aw, man.

Flashback: Brain conducts a chemical experiment in his room.

Brain: If all goes according to plan, this should be the best-tasting lemonade ever!

The mix splashes all over his face. He tries some with his finger.

Brain: Or not.

The flashback ends. Arthur’s character is throwing ankhs at a door.

Arthur: That's why they’re surprises. 'Cause you never see them coming. They just pop out of the blue, and...

D.W. pops out from behind the couch.

D.W.: Boo!

Arthur: Augh!! D.W.!

D.W.: What? I was just letting you know dinner is ready.

Arthur: (groans)

D.W.: (chuckles)

Arthur: Not the kind of surprise I wanted.

On the TV screen, the door opens.

Arthur: I did it! I opened the tomb to king Moosiris!

On the screen, a horde of mummies looking like D.W. come walking towards him.

Mummies: Dinner!

Arthur: Augh!!

He runs away.

~~~

Title Card: Cheikh and D.W. play drums

~~~

D.W. and Bud sit together in the back of the preschool playground with their lunchboxes. Cheikh joins them.

Bud: What you got?

D.W.: Cheese sticks, apple, box of raisins. You?

Bud: Sweet pickles, sour pickles, in-between pickles.

D.W.: Hey, Cheikh. Wanna trade something for one of those crispy, delicious pies from Senegal?

Cheikh: You mean fatayas?

D.W.: Yeah, yeah, that!

Cheikh: Sorry, my mom only packed me one today.

Bud: Doesn't she usually give you three?

Cheikh: Yeah, but she and my dad have been busy studying for some big test and she forgot.

D.W.: I get it. Once when Arthur was studying for a test, he put his sneakers in the refrigerator.

She sticks a straw in her juice box and it squirts on her.

Arr! When will someone invent a juice box that doesn't squirt?!

~~~

Later in Cheikh’s bedroom, Cheikh plays with an action figure looking like a Senegalese wrestler.

Cheikh: And then the leaping lion leaps! Rawrrr!

The wrestler “jumps” on a plastic dinosaur.

Cheikh: And pins Dino Man! Leaping Lion is the champ!

D.W. watches from Cheikh’s bed with a bored expression.

D.W.: Again? How many times can he be champ?

Cheikh: A million billion if he wanted to. The Leaping Lion is the best wrestler in all of Senegal. Maybe all of Africa.

He looks at a poster of the Leaping Lion on the wall.

D.W.: Heh, you sound like Binky. He loves wrestling. Can we play your djembe drums?

Cheikh: Okay!

They sit down with two drums and start playing. Cheikh is good at it while D.W. is clearly a beginner. Cheikh’s mom comes in.

Mrs. Diouf: Sorry, you two. Can you please play a little more quietly? We're trying to study.

Cheikh: Okay, Yaay.

The mother leaves.

D.W.: "Yaay?"

Cheikh: That's what I call my mom, Yaay. Okay, ready? We'll play as quietly as we can.

They lightly tap the drums.

D.W.: It's not as fun when you can't even hear them.

Cheikh: I know. I hope this test is over soon.

~~~

Cheikh sits at the counter of the Powers’ ice-cream shop and has a milk shake. His parents come in.

Mr. Diouf: Cheikh, we have a wonderful surprise.

Mrs. Diouf: Your father and I passed our citizenship test and interview.

Mr. Diouf: It's been a long process.

Mrs. Diouf: But now we're all going to be American citizens.

Cheikh: We are?

Mrs. Diouf: Yes, we'll be sworn in at the naturalization ceremony soon.

Cheikh: We will?

Brain: Congratulations, Cheikh! That's great news.

Cheikh: It is?

Brain: Ice-cream sundaes all around!

Mrs. Powers gives a sundae to Mrs. Diouf who gives it to Cheikh. Cheikh smiles.

~~~

The next day, Cheikh sits in art class at preschool and looks worried. Behind him, D.W. draws a boat and Bud draws a dinosaur.

Cheikh: American citizen, what does that mean? Do I have to give up all my things from Senegal?

Bud: Beats me.

Cheikh: What about my djembe drums? Will I have to give up those?

D.W.: I hope not. I love those drums!

Bud: What about fatayas? They go so well with my pickles.

D.W.: I love fatayas even more than your drums! Maybe there's a special rule that lets you keep those?

Cheikh: Are you American citizens?

D.W.: Of course. Uh, I think so.

~~~

That afternoon, D.W. talks to Arthur and Buster in the living room who are just unpacking a model kit for the Grain Reaper.

Arthur: Yes, we're American citizens.

D.W.: But I didn't take any test. Did you? And are you sure you passed?

Arthur: If you're born in the United States, you're automatically an American citizen.

Buster: You don't have to pass a test.

D.W.: What do you get if you're an American citizen?

Arthur: You get to vote when you're 18.

D.W.: Hm...

D.W. imagines stepping into a voting booth as an adult. There are posters saying “Vote for D.W.” on the walls. D.W. comes out again while Hail to the Chief plays.

Adult D.W.: Woo-hoo! D.W. for president!

The fantasy ends.

D.W.: I like that!

Buster: You also get to eat stars and stripes stew.

Arthur: What's that?

Buster: You've never had stars and stripes stew? Ha, my mom and I eat it every Fourth of July! Doesn't everyone?

D.W.: What's in it?

Buster: Tomatoes, mashed potatoes and blueberries. To me, it's what America tastes like.

Arthur: Ugh!

Buster: Hey, don't knock it till you try it!

D.W.: Hm...

~~~

Later, D.W. puts a tomato into a bowl with blueberries in the kitchen and mashes it. The doorbell rings. D.W. opens and finds Bud with a Tupperware pot.

D.W.: Did you bring the mashed potatoes?

Bud: Uh-huh.

~~~

The next day, Bud, D.W. and Cheikh sit at a table in preschool. D.W. opens the Tupperware pot which contains mashed potatoes with mashed tomatoes and blueberries in it.

Cheikh: What is it?

D.W.: Stars and stripes stew. Buster said it's what America tastes like.

Cheikh: Have you tried it?

D.W.: Not yet. Bud, you go first.

Bud: Why me?

D.W.: Because they're your mashed potatoes.

Bud: Well, they're your tomatoes and blueberries.

Cheikh: Let's try it all at the same time.

They each take a spoonful of stew.

Bud: Hm… America tastes sweet, tart... and gloopy. It's actually better than I thought.

He takes another spoonful.

D.W.: Blech! Yuck! I'll take fatayas over that any day.

Cheikh: I don't really like it either.

Bud: Yeah, the second bite wasn't as good. Do you think if we don't like it, we're bad citizens?

D.W.: Probably.

~~~

On the park playground, Arthur and Buster toss a football to each other. Cheikh and D.W. ride the swings while Bud watches. Binky comes by on a skateboard. His board, helmet and kneepads are painted like the American flag.

Binky: Hey, Cheikh! Arthur said you're becoming a U.S. citizen.

Cheikh: Yes, pretty soon.

Binky takes a Slam Wilson bobblehead out of his backpack.

Binky: Welcome to the Uncle Slam Fan club. He's the best wrestler in the whole universe.

Cheikh: Uh, well...

Binky takes out a fan T-shirt.

Binky: You can have this. It's too small on me.

Cheikh: Uh, thanks, Binky.

D.W. and Bud exchange looks.

Binky: Uncle Slam all the way! Woo!

He rides off. Cheikh looks unhappy.

Cheikh: But… what about the Leaping Lion?

Bud: Maybe you can root for two wrestlers at the same time.

Cheikh: Not really. I guess I'll have to switch to Uncle Slam.

Bud: Do all American citizens have to root for Uncle Slam?

D.W.: I don't even like wrestling.

~~~

That evening, Cheikh’s mother tucks him in bed.

Mrs. Diouf: Tomorrow is the big day. We're going to the naturalization ceremony to be sworn in.

Cheikh: So that's it. Tomorrow I'll be an American citizen.

She kisses him.

Mrs. Diouf: isn't it wonderful? 'Night, Cheikh. Love you.

She turns off the light and leaves.

Cheikh: 'Night, Yaay. I mean Mom.

Cheikh falls asleep. He dreams that he is walking through preschool. Suddenly, fatayas shoot out of his pockets.

Kids: Hh!

Bud: Cheikh, aren't those fatayas?

Cheikh: Kinda.

Kids: Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk!

His shirt flies off and he is wearing a dashiki underneath.

Cheikh: Huh?

D.W.: Your dashiki is showing.

Cheikh: Oh no!

Kids: Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk!

A Leaping Lion figure appears in Cheikh’s hand.

Cheikh: Oh!

Uncle Slam is sitting on a stool reading the newspaper.

Uncle Slam: Is that the Leaping Lion? I-I thought you were joining my fan club! (sobs)

Cheikh runs over to him.

Cheikh: I was going to! I promise!

Uncle Slam: (cries) Cheikh thinks Uncle Slam isn't worthy.

Cheikh: You are. Don't cry.

Uncle Slam: (cries)

He runs out of the room.

The dream ends.

Cheikh: Hh!

Cheikh takes a Senegalese flag off the wall. He rolls up an African rug and takes off the Leaping Lion poster.

Cheikh: I'm really sorry, Leaping Lion. I have to replace you.

He rolls up the poster. Then he puts his dashikis in a drawer under the bed and puts the djembe drums in the closet. He looks unhappy.

~~~

The next day, Cheikh looks at Uncle Slam action figures in the toy store as Brain walk by.

Mrs. Diouf: Are you sure that's the one you want?

Cheikh: (sighs) Yeah.

Brain: Hey, Cheikh, there's some new Leaping Lion action figures over here.

Cheikh: Hh!

He suddenly cheers up. Brian holds a case with a Leaping Lion figure wearing a tracksuit. Cheikh takes it and looks at the Leaping Lion and Uncle Slam. Then he drops both.

Cheikh: Why do I have to be an American citizen?

Mrs. Diouf: Cheikh.

Cheikh: I'm not old enough to vote, I don't like stars and stripes stew, and I'm not a fan of Uncle Slam.

Brain: What's stars and stripes stew?

Cheikh: Trust me, you don't want to know.

Mrs. Diouf: Why do you think you have to like those things?

Cheikh: Because I'm going to be an American citizen, so I have to give up my favorite things from Senegal and just like American things.

Mrs. Diouf: No, you don't.

Cheikh: Really?

Brain: America is made up of all different cultures. It's like these Autobionica toys.

Cheikh: Huh?

Brain goes to a stand and picks up a truck and two cars. He sticks them together to make a robot.

Brain: See? They're all completely unique cars, but you can fit them together. They're still different, right? But they also make one cool robot.

Cheikh looks delighted.

Mrs. Diouf: Your father and I want to become citizens because it will give us, and you, more opportunities, but we still love being from Senegal.

Cheikh: You'll still make fatayas? And I can still call you Yaay?

Mrs. Diouf: (chuckles) Of course, my love!

They hug. Cheikh points to the robot.

Cheikh: Can I have this instead?

~~~

In the Elwood City Town Hall. An officer swears in a group of new citizens, which includes the Dioufs who are all wearing traditional Senegalese clothes. The Powers, Mrs. Compson, Gussie and Madison sit in the audience.

Officer: Raise your right hand, and repeat after me.

Shortly afterwards.

New Citizens: …that I will support and defend the constitution and laws of the United States of America.

Officer: Congratulations to our newest citizens.

The audience claps. The Diouf parents picks up Cheikh and hug him. All are holding American flags. Mrs. Powers takes a picture.

~~~

On the way home, the Dioufs stop in front of the preschool.

Cheikh: I thought we were going home, Yaay.

Mrs. Diouf: We have a surprise for you.

They walk into the schoolroom where the other kids have prepared a surprise party.

Kids: Congratulations, Cheikh! Woo-hoo, yay!

Mrs. Diouf brings a basket of fatayas.

Mrs. Diouf: Fatayas for everyone!

Kids: (Yay! Woo-hoo!)

Mr. Diouf brings in a djembe drum.

Mr. Diouf: And a little music, too!

Cheikh: My drums!

Mr. Diouf starts playing and the kids dance.

Kids: (laugh)

Cheikh: Want a fataya, Bud?

Bud: No thanks. I have a tummy ache from eating stars and stripes stew all week. Yuck! I guess I'm just not a good American citizen.

Cheikh: Sure you are. Being an American means we're free not to like whatever we want.

Bud: (moans) You couldn't have told us that earlier?

He slumps on the desk.