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Buster the Myth Maker/Transcript

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#[edit]

Arthur and Buster enter the Sugar Bowl to meet “Deep Float”.

Buster: Which one do you think we're looking for? One of the kids queuing for ice cream wears a hat, a ski mask and a coat.

Arthur: I'm not sure but I've got a hunch.

Brain: (husky voice:) I'll have a root beer, please.

Mrs. Powers: Yes, Mr Deep Float, right away. She winks. Deep Float looks around.

Arthur+Buster: (whistle innocently) Deep Float sits down at their table.

Brain: So, you want to know about the tigers, huh?

Arthur: Why are you wearing a mask?

Brain: I know too much. There are people who'd like to see me out of the picture.

Buster: People like... tiger hunters?

Arthur: It's not true. Right, Mr Deep Float? Tell Buster there are no Siberian tigers in Turkey Hill Park.

Brain: Hahahaha. The tigers are just the tip of the iceberg.

Buster: You mean there's something bigger than tigers out there?

Brain: Much bigger. We're talking about a whole sinister menagerie of climatically inappropriate vertebrates. Arthur and Buster look blank.

Arthur: Uh... You lost me there.

Brain: Weird animals. Right here in Ellwood City. Rattlesnakes in sidewalk cracks, scorpions in shoeboxes, sharks in swimming pools. The zoo is the key. Just follow the monkeys!

Mrs. Powers: Would anybody like to try my new flavour: peaches and crab. Here, have a taste, Alan.

Arthur+Buster: Brain? Brain takes off the mask and hat.

Brain: (normal voice:) Mom! I asked you not to blow my cover!

Mrs. Powers: Oh no! I forgot.

Buster: What's going on? Brain, do you know something about the tigers or...

Mrs. Powers: Tigers? What's this about tigers?

Brain: There are no tigers. I made it all up, okay?

Arthur: I knew it!

Buster: But why?

Brain: It was an experiment. I wanted to see if someone could invent a story that people would believe without one shred of truth. So I posted it on that "Ultra Wacky Animal Stories" website.

Mrs. Powers: Alan! That's not a very honest thing to do.

Buster: And you even hired an actor to pretend to be a tiger hunter? Wow! I'm impressed.

Brain: Tiger hunter? What tiger hunter?

Arthur: There was this guy in the park with a trap. You didn't... The kids exchange looks.

#[edit]

Arthur has discovered the buffet at Turkey Hill Park.

Arthur: Hey Buster! They've got snacks here for the TV crew. Want an Moogie Bar?

Buster: You know how they get the tingly-tasting filling in those things, right?

Arthur: How, Buster? Mashed snake livers?

Brain: Pureed spider webs?

Buster: (gags)

Arthur: Snail grease?

Brain: Pig brains?

Buster: No. They use a chemical called sodium benzoate.

Arthur: How about an apple? Brain and Buster smile. Arthur bites into the apple.