Arthur and the Square Dance/Transcript

Introduction

In his imagination an adult Arthur is on the phone in a big office.

Arthur: I want more icing on the cakes and more cream in the custard.   He faces the camera.  Hello. I'm Arthur Read and I just had my eighteenth birthday. I'm now an adult. I’m the president of a catering business.  

Shot of a skyscraper with a sign saying “Arthur’s Catering Business”.

In his office Arthur tests an éclair.    

Arthur: Mmm! It needs more sugar.

Chef: Yes, Mr. Read.

Arthur: I like my job.   Arthur drives a big limousine.   Of course I have a chauffeur, but sometimes I like to drive. The chauffeur sits in the back seat.

Arthur is in the supermarket with a shopping trolley full of soft drinks, candy and potato chips.  

Arthur: I also do the shopping for dinner.   

Arthur stands in front of a fine house. 

Arthur: Yes, sir! Life's been good to me. I have a nice house... and a great son.   A miniature version of himself hugs him.

Arthur’s son: Hi, Daddy! I love you. Mom! Daddy's home!

Arthur: Mom?!     An adult Francine walks towards him.

Francine: Hi, honey. How about a hug and a big kiss? The camera zooms in on her lips.

The real Arthur wakes up in his bed.

Arthur: Aaaugh!  It's nightmares like that that make me never want to grow up!

Title card: Umbrella

It’s pouring rain. Inside the school gym the kids are square dancing to country music from a recorder. Mrs. McGrady is the caller.

Mrs. McGrady: Swing you partner round and round. That’s it. Keep swinging. Do-si-do.   

Binky is swinging Muffy whose feet are not touching the ground.

Muffy: Binky, not so fast!

Mrs. McGrady: Side couples up to the middle... High five.    Binky lets go Muffy who flies into Francine.

Muffy: Aah!

Francine: Hey, watch it!

Muffy: It’s not my fault! Binky threw me!

Mrs. McGrady: You too! Front and back and up to the middle,     and then scoop back.  Muffy holds up her hand for a high five.

Muffy: Binky, what are you waiting for?

Binky: Huh? Oh.    He runs at Muffy.

Muffy: Uh-oh. Binky high fives Muffy so hard she bumps into Alex and all dancers fall like dominos.

Alex: Hh!

Kids: (Hh.    Oh.   Ugh.    Whoa.)    The recorder falls of the chair. Mrs. McGrady catches it and ends up on the floor as well. Only Binky is still standing.

Kids: (Ow.   Oh.)   Binky looks around.

Binky: This is such a dumb dance!     He sits down on the floor and imitates the others by rubbing his shin.

#

After the dancing lesson, Muffy Arthur and Francine walk out of the school.

Muffy: Arthur, next time it rains and we have square-dancing, would you be my partner?

Arthur: Okay.

Francine: Hey, wait a second! Then who's going to be my partner?   Binky’s shoelace got caught in the door.

Binky: Hey! Stupid shoelace.   He rips it to get free.

Francine: Sorry, Muffy. Arthur's only dancing with me! Come on, Arthur. I'll give you a lift home.  Francine and Arthur run to Mr. Frensky’s truck.

Muffy: Hm! You'd think they were married or something!

Binky: Something smells rotten about this. You don't think Arthur and Francine...?

Muffy: Oh please! It's so obvious! Next time it rains, you’ll see who’s dancing with who.

Binky: Wow! I guess Arthur and Francine are... in love! I think I'm gonna be sick!

#

Francine meets Arthur at his locker.

Francine: Hey, Arthur!

Arthur: Aagh!

Francine: How's it going?

Arthur: Fine. Great. Super.    She follows him.

Francine: Is something wrong? You've been acting kind of strange lately.

Arthur: Strange? No. Why would you think that?  

Francine: Well, for one thing, you're about to go into the girls' bathroom.

Arthur: Ahh! (laughs) Just... just kidding! Just a joke.    He goes into the boys’ bathroom.

#

At recess, Arthur sits on the school steps. Francine comes out.

Francine: Arthur!

Arthur:  jumps    Whoa!

Francine: I wanna talk to you.

Arthur:  Er…   er…    He tags her.   Tag! You’re it!    He runs away.

Francine walks to Prunella who is reading on the swings.

Francine: Prunella. Arthur's acting really weird around me.

Prunella: Like how?

Francine: Well, I just tried to talk to him and he ran away.

Prunella: Hmm.    Tell me something. Do his cheeks go red when you're near him?

Francine: Yeah!

Prunella: And does he talk l-l-l-like th-th-th- this?

Francine: Yeah! Just like that.

Prunella: Francine, I hate to say this, but I think Arthur's in love with you.

Francine: What?! That's ridiculous!     Nah!

#

After school Prunella is unlocking her bike.

Prunella: I'm sorry, Francine, but those are all signs of major love disease.

Francine: That's the grossest thing I've ever heard! What do I do?

Prunella: You have to let him know that you don't love him. But be very careful what you say. You could break his heart.  Hh!    Arthur walks by. The girls hum innocently.

Francine: You're right. I'll have to be gentle with him.

#

Arthur and Francine try to avoid each other during the square dance.

Mrs. McGrady: Now, thread the needle!    Arthur ends up facing Francine.

Arthur:  Francine, quit trying to dance with me!

Francine: Me trying to dance with you? You’re trying to dance with me!

Arthur:  Francine, do I have to spell it out for you?

Francine: Don't make me say it, Arthur.

Arthur+Francine: I'm not in love with you!

Francine: You mean, don't have a crush on me?

Arthur:  No way! And you, you don't want to kiss me?

Francine: Are you kidding? I'd rather have head lice!     They miss the end of the figure and are still holding hands when everybody else has stopped.

Kids: (laugh) 

Arthur+Francine: break apart    Eugh!

Mrs. McGrady: Okay, everybody, grab your partners!     They continue dancing.

Francine: Phew! I'm glad that's over!

Arthur:  Francine, let’s never let a silly thing like love come between us again.

Francine: You said it, partner!

Mrs. McGrady: Side couples right and left and through. Side ladies chain across. All join up hands and circle left.

Outside the rain stops.