Arthur Weighs In/Transcript

Big Bob's Big Top

• Circus Announcer: Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Step right up! Come see Big Bob's Big Top! Beyond this curtain lies a treasure trove that's ginormous, gigantic, and super-sized! Peek at the Poughkeepsie Pumpkin! Positively perplexing in proportion!

• Crowd: Oooh!

• Circus Announcer: Pound upon pound, and grown from the ground!

• Crowd: Ahhh!

• Circus Announcer: Marvel at the mystifying Minnewasaka Meteorite! More massive than a mobile home! And did I mention—it's magnetic?

• Crowd: Oooh!

• Circus Announcer: And lastly—look upon the Leaden Lump of Elwood City.

• Crowd: (gasps)

• Circus Announcer: Large...lardy...a lifeless layabout lump of...lumpiness!

• Crowd: (gasps)

• Circus Announcer: Ah, it's alive! Run for your life!

• (The crowd shrieks while the announcer continues to shout "Run! Run!")

• Arthur: No, hey! It's me, Arthur! Come back!

Title Card

• Binky: "Arthur Weighs In"

Arthur's Room

• Arthur: For the last time, there's no such thing as a--a g-g-g--ghost? Ahh!

• D.W.: You don't sound very scared to me!

• Arthur: D.W., I think I need to practice my lines by myself.

• D.W.: But Arthur, this is the school play! Your big chance! When you see the ghost, you should be really scared! Like this! A g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh—wahhhhh—ahhhhh...agh. Like that. (points at Arthur's clothes) Is that what you're wearing for your costume?

• Arthur: What's wrong with it?

• (The button pops off the pants and flies past D.W.'s face)

• D.W.: Ahh!

Den

• Jane Read: They fit when you wore them for Aunt Lucy's wedding. Maybe you've had a growth spurt.

• D.W.: A g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost! Ahh!

• Jane Read: OK, D.W.. Why don't you wear your regular pants?

• Arthur: Mr. Ratburn says it has to be a suit. I play the owner of this big mansion, and I'm supposed to be really rich. It's essential to my part.

• Jane Read: We'll go shopping tomorrow.

Clothing Store

• Jane Read: Well, how's it going?

• Arthur: Mom, no! You can't come in!

• Salesman: May I be of assistance?

• Jane Read: Oh, we can't seem to find anything that fits.

• Salesman: No problem. (He takes Arthur's measurements) Come with me, young man. I believe I have just the thing for the growing boy! Here we are!

• Arthur: Um...is that all there is?

• Salesman: Our store doesn't carry much in the way of...husky size.

• Arthur: Husky size?!

The Play(Arthur's Imagination)

(The play is over, and it's time for everyone to take their bow. Arthur steps forward and bows, knocking Muffy back. Brain then walks back, but unfortunately for him Arthur turns around and knocks him into Buster and Binky. Arthur then groans.

Clothing Store

• Jane Read: I think it looks great! You'll really stand out on stage.
• D.W.: (laughs)

The Soccer Field

• Buster: I'll tell you, there's something fishy about this whole operation, Inspector Curathers. (kicks ball to Brain)
• Brain: You can say that again, Jimmy. (kicks back to Buster, who shoots a goal) Arthur, it's your line.
• Arthur: (panting, out of breath)
• Brain: Arthur?
• Arthur: (still panting)
• Brain: Arthur, are you alright?
• Arthur: I geuss I can't talk and run at the same time.
• Brain: Oh. Well, let's just sit over here.
• Arthur: Do I look husky to you guys?
• Buster: Husky? Husky?! You husky? Nah, you don't look husky. (whispers to Brain) What's husky?
• Arthur: It means I'm fat. I had to get new pants yesterday, husky pants.
• Buster: Oh.
• Arthur: You don't seem very surprised.
• Buster: Well you're definitely not fat, but you are out of breath, and there has been more of you lately.
• Arthur: This is horrible, what am I going to do?
• Buster: I've got it, this is easy! You just have to go on a diet!
• Arthur: A diet?
• Buster: Don't worry, I know just what to do. I'm an expert on diets. My mom has been on hundreds of them.

Arthur's Kitchen

• Buster: Now, on the Barleycorn diet, you can eat bacon, cheese, eggs, and hamburgers, but no bread. But if you go on the Bushmans diet, you only eat seeds, berries, and whatever you can pick from a bush, or hunt from a bow and arrow. Or maybe you want the Jackpot diet, you only eat boiled cabbage, three times a day, except Sunday, when you can eat whatever you want.
• Arthur: How do you know which diet to pick?
• Buster: Uh, it doesn't matter. None of them work. My mom says, not matter how much weight she loses on a diet, she always gains it back.
• D.W.: That's your afterschool snack? No wonder you need husky pants.
• Brain: According to this book, diets aren't for kids, unless perscribed by a doctor.
• Arthur: So what am I supposed to do, just stay fat?
• Buster: You're not fat. You're just a little husky.
• Brain: It says here instead of dieting, you should eat a variety of foods. In other words, make better choices. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables instead of candy. And stay away from sugary drinks. Drink more water.
• D.W.: Don't worry Arthur, I'll help you, and I'll start by getting rid of these. (pulls crackers, which causes everything else to be knocked down.) Oops.

Montage 

(a montage starts where Arthur tries to grab two cookies, only to be trading both of them for an apple. Next, at a soccer game, Arthur tries to eat a chocolate bar, but D.W. then takes it and gives him some grapes. It then goes back to the kitchen, where Arthur attempts to eat some chips from the cabinet. Unfortunately for him, D.W. secretly placed a walkie-talkie in there, causing her to be informed about it when Arthur starts to eat quite loudly.)

• D.W.(with a microphone): Drop the chips! Place the chips on the counter and step back with your hands in the air!
• Arthur: (takes orange)

Arthur's Room 2

• Arthur: (grunts as he tries to put on his old pants) I'm still fat. I just did what you said. No cookies, no candy, and look, no change!
• Brain: Well, it's only been three hours. Maybe you should give it a week or two at least.
• Arthur: But I'm supposed to show my costume to Mr. Ratburn by tomorrow, and I'm not going to wear that husky suit.

The Stage

• Mr. Ratburn: Well these costumes all look great.
• Muffy: Except Arthur's, he's not wearing one.
• Buster: He has one, he just can't fit into it, yet.
• Mr. Ratburn: Yes,well that's fine. See you all tomorrow. And Arthur?
• Arthur: Yes?
• Mr. Ratburn: Could I have a word with you?

Backstage

• Arthur: But I still can't fit into my pants. 
• Mr. Ratburn: You know Arthur, this may come as a surprise to you, but there was a time where I was a real...fatty rat.
• Arthur: Really?
• Mr. Ratburn: I tried every diet known. But one day I discovered I had a hidden talent.

Mr.Ratburn's Flashback

• Mr.Ratburn's Friend: Hey, you found it! Want to play a game? I'm playing by myself, but I keep losing the ball.
• (It then cuts to him and Mr. Ratburn playing ping pong. The flashback starts to show Mr. Ratburn aging and getting thinner.)
• Mr. Ratburn: (narrating) That's when I discovered I was good at...ping pong! I played constantly, and gradually, without noticing it, I became the fit specimen you see before you today!

Backstage

• Arthur: But I don't know how to play ping pong.
• Mr. Ratburn: Oh, the type of exercise doesn't matter, Arthur. The important thing is that you get enough of it.
• Arthur: Well, how do I know what's enough?
• Mr. Ratburn: Hm...

Mr.Ratburn's Classroom

• Mr. Ratburn: It's called a pedometer. Just simply attach it to your waist, and it will record how many steps you take.
• Binky: Is this for a grade?
• Mr. Ratburn: No.
• Muffy: Did it come in better colors?
• Mr. Ratburn: No.
• Buster: Why are we doing this?
• Mr.Ratburn: It will show how much exercise you're getting. When you return to class tomorrow, we'll all compare scores.
• Binky: I bet I'll get 200 easy.
• Francine: I bet I'll get 500.

Arthur's Kitchen 2

• D.W.: 800 steps! I don't think I've even taken 800 steps in my whole life, and Arthur did it one day! 800! Is that more than 20?
• Arthur: Yeah, I was pretty busy. Wait till everyone else hears. I can't wait to see their looks on their faces!

The Stage 2

• Arthur: 7025?
• Muffy: And I would've taken even more steps, but I only had one dance class after school, some days I have two.
• Arthur: What'd you get?
• Brain: 13000, but I had soccer practice. Most days I'm sure it's much,much lower.
• Buster: I got 6575, and I don't remember doing anything except for following my mom around on her errands.
• Arthur: But I did everything, I was busy! I went swimming (shows him not actually swimming, but sitting in a water chair drinking something), I played catch with Pal (shows him just sitting on the sofa throwing the ball while Pal retrived it), I even did some floor exercises! (shows him just moving his legs around while eating chips and reading comics) I guess when I think about it, I didn't do as much as I thought I did.

Mr.Ratburn's Classroom

• Mr.Ratburn: You should all aim for 10000 steps a day, but don't feel bad if your score is low, just keep trying! You can always do better. Use your pedometer for a few weeks, and gradually work your way up. (bell rings)
• Arthur: (gets up) I know I can do better, and I'm going to start right now!

Arthur's Living Room

• Citizen: Just look at that guy go! He's three blocks ahead of Bionic Bunny! But wait, he's slowing down.
• Arthur: Maybe I should start walking now.
• Buster: Nah, wait till this is over, you'll miss the best part.
• D.W.: Arthur, if you do your line right on the school play, you can get a part on Bionic Bunny!
• Buster: You think Arthur can play Bionic Bunny?
• D.W.: No, that guy (the robber) there! 
• Arthur: That's it! (walks out as another montage starts)

Montage 2

(Arthur's pedometer shows 800, then it goes to Arthur walking Pal in the park and buying a frozen yogurt. It then goes to Arthur walking to the Sugar Bowl, only for Buster to give him a bottle of water. Arthur's pedometer then shows 4125, then it goes to Arthur jumping rope while Bionic Bunny is playing in the background. Arthur's pedometer then shows 5381, then it skips to Arthur, Buster and Brain playing soccer. Arthur's pedometer then shows 7700, then it goes to Arthur turning off the TV. Arthur's pedometer then shows 9200; then Arthur turns off the TV again, with his pedometer finally reading 12000.)

Arthur's Room 3

• D.W.: Don't be nervous. You'll be great. Oh, I'm so scared. What if you forget your lines?
• Arthur: I won't forget. We've had three weeks to rehearse. And besides, everybody else will be on stage with me. Well, here goes. (successfully buttons up his pants) They fit!
• D.W.: Wow! (high-fives Arthur)

The Play(in reality)

• Arthur: For the last time, there is no such thing as a...
• Binky: (makes ghost noises)
• Arthur:  A g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh—wahhhhh—ahhhhh...agh. (fake faints)
• D.W.: That was my idea!
• (the curtains then open up for them to bow to the audience.)