Arthur's Baby (episode)/Transcript

(The episode starts as Arthur and his family are celebrating Kate's first birthday celebration.)

• Arthur's Mom: Happy first birthday, Kate!
• Arthur and D.W.: Happy birthday, Kate!

(Kate starts giggling and she puts the cake into her mouth. Everyone gasps; Arthur now explains what babies do.)

• Arthur: Babies do some dopey things, but I guess we were all babies once, like my friend Buster.

(The timeline changes back to when Buster Baxter, himself, was a baby. He eats unpaid food at the grocery store.)

• Buster's Mom: No sweetie, don't do that! Oh, goodness! No! Stop!!
• Arthur (V.O.): And Mr. Ratburn.

(Now it changes straight when Arthur's teacher, Mr. Ratburn, was a little baby. He writes math equations on the wall.)

• Ratburn's Mom: Emil, what are you doing?!!
• Arthur (V.O.): Even my mom and dad.

(And now we go back to when Arthur's parents were babies, just before Arthur and D.W. were born. They play in the sandbox.)

• Arthur's Mom: Clean your room!!

(We return to the present, where Arthur, as before, is celebrating Kate's first birthday with his family.)

• Arthur: Even my mom and dad. I already missed the days when she was a cute, little baby.
• D.W.: No, you don't!
• Arthur: Do, too!
• D.W.: You didn't even like Kate when she was a little baby!
• Arthur: Did, too!
• D.W.: Uh-huh, sure. I remember exactly what happened...
• [INTERTITLE SHOWS]

(Arthur and D.W. are having a grape-eating contest, to see which one will eat the last grape.)

• Arthur: Let go, D.W.!
• D.W.: No, you let go!
• Arthur: You already ate more than me!
• D.W.: I needed more than you. You're only bigger than me because you're full of so much food!

(The last grape lands into D.W.'s mouth, which makes Arthur so furious that he wishes to remove all the little sisters.)

• Arthur: You know how the world could be perfect? Remove all little sisters! That's my idea perfect.
• D.W.: Delicious!

(Now, Arthur and D.W. have been told by their dad to come over to them because he and their mother have a surprise.)

• Arthur's Dad: Arthur! D.W.! We have a surprise for you.
• Arthur: Is it a new bicycle?
• Arthur's Mom: No!
• D.W.: Is Arthur moving out?
• Arthur's Mom: No!
• Arthur & D.W.: What is it? What is it?
• Arthur's Mom: We're going to have a baby!
• D.W.: A baby!
• Arthur: A baby?
• D.W. (V.O.): A baby, yahoo! Baby baby baby baby, yeah, baby!
• Arthur's Dad: It will be about six months before the baby comes. Plenty of time to get ready.

(At the gym, Binky and Arthur are fighting, but Arthur loses and Binky tells him to get some earplugs.)

• Binky: You better buy some earplugs. Babies never stop crying!

(Binky begins to laugh, and the imagination scene fades in, where an unknown-named baby is crying really loud. This happened when Arthur tells his mom to pass the salt, but was no good.)

• Arthur: Pass the salt, please.
• Arthur's Mom: What?
• Arthur: I said, pass the salt, please!

(Now, a firetruck flies through our screen, and while the baby is still crying, the firefighters cover their ears because they don't like the sound, and it fades back to Binky back at the gym.)

• Binky: So you can forget about sleeping!

(Everyone laughs, including Binky, and this embarrasses Arthur. That time, he and his friends are at the pool.)

• Muffy: Poor Arthur. In a few months, he'll be changing all those stinky diapers! P.U.!

(Muffy now plugs her nose and jumps in the pool, causing the screen to be splashed by water effects, where it fades to where Buster is pretending that Arthur gets protected by the baby's dirty diapers.)

• Buster: This should protect you from those stinky diapers!
• Arthur (muffled): Yea, I can't smell anything!
• Buster: Great!
• Arthur (muffled): But I can't breathe! *gasps*
• Buster: *gasps* Whoa!! *loud crash*

(Buster tries to pull the shoe off of Arthur's mouth, and as this happens,  Arthur gasps for breath and Buster crashes through some of Arthur's parents' things. At the mall, Arthur and Buster see some babies in strollers, which gets him confused.)

• Arthur: What's the big deal with babies? They don't even do anything!
• Buster: Well, maybe you can teach your baby to do something useful, like earn money for you.

(In Arthur's imagination, he pretends he is a magician and he presents an amazing baby.)

• Arthur: Presenting the amazing baby!

(The audience is thrilled by the amazing baby, and they give their money to Arthur the magician.)

• Arthur: Thank you! Thank you.

(In the second imagination, Arthur pretends he has a smart baby who does his homework for him.)

• Buster (V.O.): Or do your homework.
• Arthur: And when you're done with the math, don't forget to write my report on Magellan!

​(Now Arthur and Buster are in the treehouse while the imagination fades out.)

• Arthur: *sighs* If only life were like that.
• Buster (V.O.): Pretty soon, you can forget about playing after-school; you'll have to baby-sit! *laughs*

Arthur: (in disappointment) Yeah.

• Francine: And you'll start talking baby-talk all the time!

(Arthur and his friends are playing football and he trips to other side of the team and falls.)

• Coach: Great catch, Read! You okay?
• Arthur (in baby-talk): Got an ouchy boo-boo!

(Everyone in the football team, including their coach, starts laughing out loud.)

• Francine: Oh, Arthur talks like a baby!
• Binky: (noticing an unpleasant odor coming from Arthur) And he smells like stinky diapers, too!"

Everyone: "Ewwwwwww" (hold their noses and continue to laugh at Arthur) (That night, Arthur is in bed giving himself a nightmare, then his mom comes in and startles him.)

• Arthur: Aahhh!!
• Arthur's Mom: Everything okay, honey? You were tossing and turning!
• Arthur: Um, I--I was... having a dream??
• Arthur's Mom: I guess you must be excited as I am about the baby coming.
• Arthur: Yeah! It's all I think about!

(At the park, Arthur and his friend Buster are flying kites together when they see three cooing babies in their strollers.)

• Arthur: I guess I'm ready for that baby now. I've thought of everything!
• Buster: What if your mom has more than one?

(In Arthur's imagination, he dreams that he has more than one baby, which makes him scream. Meanwhile, at his home, Doctor D.W. asks him if he wants to pretend to change a baby's diaper.)

• D.W.: Arthur! Come over here, and I'll show you how to diaper a baby!
• Arthur: *scolds* Oh no, no! Get that diaper off my Bionic Bunny right now, and stop trying to turn everything into a baby!
• Arthur's Mom: Forget the diapers, come over here. I want to show you two something. You were a baby once, too, you know!

(Arthur's mom turns on the TV and plays a video of when Arthur was a baby.)

• Arthur (V.O.): Is that me?
• Arthur's Mom (on TV): Come on, Arthur! Ohhh!
• Arthur's Mom: Yes, you were such a cute baby.

(Arthur's mom now puts on a video of when D.W. was a baby with lots of crying.)

• D.W.: Yeah, what went wrong? That's me?! Don't I look adorable? I bet the new baby's just going to be like me!
• Arthur: That's what I'm afraid of. What are you doing?

(Now, Arthur's mom is now preparing her trip to the hospital to have a baby, and she is gathering all her stuff.)

• Arthur's Mom: I have to be ready to go to the hospital at anytime now!

• D.W. (V.O.): Here's something to look at while you're at the hospital, to help you make another perfect kid.
• Arthur's Mom: *giggles* I'll pack that with my other things.

(The next morning, Arthur and D.W. are riding down the stairs and D.W. thought she won and she laughs.)

• D.W.: I win! I win!
• Arthur: Did not, it was a tie!
• D.W.: *laughs*
• Arthur: *grunts* Huh??!!

(Arthur is really surprised to see that Grandma Thora is in the house making pancakes, which makes him confused.)

• Grandma Thora: Who wants blueberry pancakes?
• D.W.: Grandma Thora, you're in the wrong house!
• Arthur: Where are Mom and Dad, Grandma?
• Grandma Thora: They're at the hospital. You both have a new baby sister!
• D.W.: A sister! My sister! She'll be just like me! Yahoo!
• Arthur: Oh, brother.
• D.W.: Oh, sister! Yay!
• Arthur: (weakly) Yahoo....

(At the hospital, D.W. and Arthur's dad choose which baby is hers. Arthur's dad makes the choice.)

• D.W. (V.O.): Which one is my sister, daddy?
• Arthur's Dad: That's her, and her name is Kate.

(Kate starts crying. This made Arthur confused.)

• D.W. (V.O.): She's got your nose, Arthur!
• Arthur: And your mouth.

(Kate arrives home. D.W. is very excited, but Arthur's mom tells her to be quiet because Kate is sleeping.)

• D.W. (V.O.): She's here! My sister's here! Oh, let me see! Let me see!! Let me see!
• Arthur's Mom: Shhh! She's sleeping.
• D.W. (V.O.): Ohhhhh...

(That afternoon, Arthur's dad decides to record a video of Kate.)

• Arthur's Mom: Arthur, would you like to hold Kate?

(When Arthur holds Kate, she starts crying.)

• Arthur: MOM!!! MOM!!!!
• D.W.: Can I hold her? Can I hold her? She doesn't cry when I hold her.

(That night, Arthur gets near Kate, which makes her cry.)

• Arthur: Hi, Kate! I'm your big brother.

(At school, Francine didn't understand what made Kate cry when Arthur gets near her.)

• Francine: What do you mean, she hates you?
• Arthur: She cries every time I get near her.
• Francine: She's a baby! Babies cry.
• Arthur (V.O.): D.W. doesn't make her cry. Just me!

(That Tuesday night, Arthur gets near Kate, and she cries again. Then on Wednesday afternoon, his mother wants him to babysit Kate while she is gone.)

• Arthur's Mom: Arthur, could you watch Kate while I go upstairs?
• Arthur: Uh, are you sure?
• Arthur's Mom: Ohh, I'm sure you'll do just fine!
• Arthur (V.O.): Here, y-you dropped this.
• D.W.: ARTHUR!!! WAS THAT ON THE FLOOR?! IT HAS TO BE "STEREBILIZED"!!

(Kate cries, D.W. asks Arthur to hold the pacifier while she gets something from her nurse bag)

• D.W.: Hold this. (She opens the bag, but things fall on the floor) Darn! 

(She then grabs a tissue)

• D.W.: Don't worry, I'll take care of everything! (She then wipes the pacifier with her tissue, blows on it, rubs it on her nurse outfit, and puts it back in Kate's mouth. Then Kate stops crying and falls asleep when the pacifier is in her mouth. Afterwards, the doorbell rings) I'll get it!

(Buster and Francine are at the front door and D.W. answers it)

• D.W.: Hi!
• Buster: Can Arthur come out?
• D.W.: No, he's babysitting. Would you like to come in and see my baby?
• Buster and Francine (together): Yeah! Sure!

(When Buster and Francine are in the house, they awe at the way Kate is when she's sleeping)

• D.W.: Don't get too close because you have germs!
• Francine: What a cute baby! She looks just like me when I was a baby!

(Kate squirms, spits out her pacifier, and starts crying again)

• D.W.: Everybody stand back! I know what she wants! (She then grabs the baby bottle out of her nurse bag and tries giving it to Kate. She jolts her head back and forth, then cries again. D.W. then gives the bottle to Francine) Everyone remain calm!
• Francine: Arthur, aren't you going to help?
• Arthur: No, I'll only make it worse!
• D.W.: I know exactly what to do! Arthur, hold her while I get a clean diaper!
• Buster: Come on Kate! (makes mouth noises, but Kate continues crying)
• Arthur: (Holding Kate and patting her) I wonder what she's trying to tell us! (Kate then burps and sighs. She then falls asleep right in Arthur's shoulders)
• Francine and Buster: Awww......
• Arthur's Mom: Is everything alright? (D.W. is shocked to see that Arthur calmed Kate down)
• Arthur: It is now. 
• Buster: Arthur burped the baby right when she was about to explode! (Kate then kisses Arthur, but Buster thinks she's spitting on him) Oh, gross! She's spitting on him!
• Francine: She is not! She's kissing him!
• (Arthur's Mom, Francine, and Buster are all in awe. Then D.W. enters the living room proud of what Arthur has done.)