Ants in Arthur's Pants/Transcript

Introduction

Buster and Francine are watching ants.

Buster: Hey, do you ever get the feeling that we’re being watched?

Francine: Oh Buster. You’re just being paranoid.

From a hill Arthur watches them through a coin telescope.

Arthur: Cool. Everybody looks like ants.

D.W.: Let me see! Let me see!    She gets to the telescope just as it switches off.

Arthur: Sorry, my quarter ran out.

D.W.: But I didn’t get to see the ant people!

Arthur: There’s no such thing as ant people, D.W. They just seem like ants because we’re so high up.

D.W.: There are so ant people. There’s our aunt Bonnie, aunt Ruthie, aunt Hillary, aunt Claudia…

From space an ant-like alien watches them on a monitor.

Alien 1: Are those ant people down there?

Alien 2: They just look like ant people from up here. They’re just earthlings. Wanna see my collection.

The alien shows an ant farm with human buildings on top and a man using a jackhammer to make a tunnel.

#

The kids have learned about the acronym TROUSERS: patient, attentive, nosy, thoughtful, systematic.

Francine: You know what, Brain, I think these two just don’t have any pants. Come on.

Arthur: Hey, we have plenty of trousers.

Buster: Yeah, we’re patient, attentive, and… Oo, look at the monkey!

#

Arthur and Buster have the ants for their farm in a tube.

D.W.: How do you get the ants from there to there? You should get Mom.

Arthur: D.W., would you quit pestering us. Look, you just pour them in.   Arthur pours the ants. All except one get away.    Oops.

Buster: (reads instructions:) "Have adult construct funnel out of paper and pour ants through opening very slowly."

D.W.: You are in so much trouble.

Buster: I gotta go practice my asthma, I mean tuba. See ya.   He runs out of the room.

#

Arthur: I’m glad we saved the ants, even though I’m not gonna get the extra credit.

Francine: Are you kidding? You have plenty of stuff to report.

Arthur: You’re right. I’ve been pretty patient and attentive and nosy, thoughtful, and systematic too. Hey, I’ve got pants!

Francine: I wish I could prove I have pants.     D.W. looks bewildered.

Arthur: You can. Your pants helped me get my pants.

D.W.: What’s the big deal about pants?! Everyone wears them! Eight-year-olds care about the weirdest things.    She runs out of the room.