A is for Angry/Transcript

Introduction

TV Announcer: We interrupt this episode to bring you a special news bulletin.

A reporter is standing on a street corner. Behind her children are running from something.

Reporter: I'm here in downtown Elwood City, where widespread panic has caused a mass exodus.

Muffy: He's angry! Run for your lives!    Francine and Muffy run by. Francine stops.

Reporter: Excuse me, Miss. Can you tell me who or what you are running from?

Francine: You don't wanna know!     She runs on. Buster and Binky run by

Reporter: Sir, can you describe this… this creature?

Binky: He's horrible! He spits fire and he has these big sharp claws and...

Buster: The fangs! Don't forget the fangs!

Reporter: Then you've actually seen him.

Binky: Er, no, somebody told us about him.

Buster: But it’s gotta be true, right?    He takes the microphone.   And I sure don't wanna find out for my…  Oh, no! He's coming. Run!     He, Binky and the reporter run away.

The image briefly shows static, then you see the view from the camera lying on the ground. Arthur appears with a checkerboard.

Arthur: Hey, where did everybody go? I just wanted to play checkers.

Title Card: D.W. catches Frog

Everybody in class is chattering, while Mr. Ratburn writes “NEWS” on the blackboard.

Mr. Ratburn: Okay, everybody, very exciting news today. A new inter-scholastic sports league has just been formed and they’ve asked us to compete, which means one of you lucky lucky students will get the privilege of representing our school in what I personally consider the most thrilling sport event ever devised by mankind... checkers.    After looking excited, everybody now looks blank.    I know. It seems too good to be true, doesn't it? I too was speechless when I heard the news. Any volunteers?      Buster nudges Arthur.

Buster: Hey, you like checkers. Why don’t you volunteer?

Arthur: I don't know if I'm good enough. I'm kind of... average.

Buster: What do you mean? You always beat me. Come on. Raise your hand.   Arthur raises his hand to shoulder level.

Kids: Come on, Brain!    Brain, who has been reading, looks up.

Brain: What?         Arthur drops his hand.

Mr. Ratburn: Well, Alan, it looks like you're the favorite. Do you want to volunteer?

Kids: Brain! Brain! Brain! Brain!

Brain:Do I have to?    Everybody looks shocked.    I mean, checkers is kind of boring. It's not really challenging, like, say, chess.    Everybody stares.    Okay, okay, I'll do it.

#

Francine, Arthur, Buster and Muffy are standing in the lunch line in the school cafeteria.

Francine: Brain is so conceited. "Boring," he says. "Not challenging." Who does he think he is?

Arthur: But everybody thought it was boring. Nobody raised their hand.

Buster: Except you.

Francine: It's different with us. We're not conceited.

Muffy: Francine's right. Someone should go up against him just to prove he's not as special as he thinks he is.      Binky, Jenna, Sue Ellen and Fern join them.

Binky: Can you believe Brain today?

Muffy: I know. We were just talking about it. Arthur's gonna challenge him.

Arthur: Huh?

Francine: Didn't Buster just say you raised your hand?

Muffy: You’re not scared, are you?

Arthur: No, I'm not scared. I've beaten Brain at checkers before.

Kids: (gasp)

Binky: Brain's gonna get it!

Buster: All right!

Binky: Do it, Arthur. Somebody’s gotta prove there's something average kids can win at.

Kids: Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!

#

D.W. is playing on the floor in the living room. Arthur talks to his mother, who is working on the computer.

Arthur: And then they started chanting my name.

D.W.: (laughs)

Arthur: What's so funny?

D.W.: You beat Brain in something? I'd like to see that.

Mrs. Read: Well, I think it's great, honey. Just make sure you keep it in perspective.

Arthur: Oh. Sure.

In Arthur’s fantasy he stands in an arena on a giant checkerboard.

Crowd: Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!

# 

In reality, Arthur is riding his bike to school

Buster: Arthur! Arthur!      

Arthur wakes up just as he crashes into the bike stand where Buster is chaining his bike.

Arthur: Um!

Buster: Are you okay? You should try getting off the bike before parking it.

Arthur: Ohh. I was just, er... thinking about my checker strategy.

Buster: Oh, of course. You know, I'm really glad you decided to enter. I have a feeling you're gonna place a really strong second.

Arthur: It's only me versus Brain, Buster.

Buster: I know.

#

At the pep rally.

Francine: Do we want some conceited know-it-all representing us at checkers?

Kids: No!

Francine: Who do we want?

Kids: Arthur!

Francine: Why do we want him?

Kids: He’s average!

# 

In the school corridor everybody is holding flyers. Arthur confronts Francine and Muffy.

Arthur: What are you guys doing?

Francine: Why do you ask? Because you're angry?

Muffy: Angry.

Arthur: I'm not angry!           Francine passes out more flyers.

Francine: Well, what would you call it?

Binky: Angry.

George: Please don’t hurt me.          He hurries off.     Arthur grabs Francines’s stack of flyers.

Arthur: And stop passing these out! I told you yesterday I don't want any more pep rallies!    Francine pulls all flyers way except one.

Francine: Don't worry, Mr Hyde, it's not for you.   Arthur looks at the flyer in his hand. It shows an unflattering picture of an angry Arthur.      reads: “A is for angry, B is for Brains. Pep rally for Brains before the game!”      I thought you said he was conceited!

Muffy: Wow! Angry and mean. I think you need to chill out!      Everybody looks at Arthur.

Arthur: Why are you doing this? Is it because I asked you guys to leave me alone yesterday?

Francine: If you call what you did "asking". Brain may be conceited, but at least he's nice.

Muffy: We just care about the integrity of checkers.

Arthur: Raarrggh!      Everybody runs away. Binky walks up to Arthur.

Binky: Hey, man, I wanna congratulate you. It took me years to get scary. You did it overnight.

#

Arthur sits in the Reads’ kitchen with his head resting on the tabletop and his glasses lying next to him. Mrs. Read is cooking.

Mrs. Read: People get a little crazy sometimes when it comes to competition. Don't take it to heart.

Arthur: Maybe I deserved it. It's not like I tried all that hard to stop them from putting down Brain when they were on my side.

He puts on his glasses. His mom kneels beside him.

Mrs. Read: Well, I don't think you should quit something you love just because of what other people think.

Arthur: I didn't love it. It's checkers. I just thought it would be fun. It's not fun anymore.

The doorbell rings. Arthur opens the door and finds Francine outside.

Arthur: Francine?

Francine: Wanna go to the Inter Scholastics for us?

Arthur: Huh?

Francine: Brain conceded too.

Arthur: He did? Why?

Francine: Pep rallies.

Arthur: Ah.

Francine: Listen, I forgive you that Muffy and I got a little crazy. I guess it's just cause you hurt our feelings. We were kind of forgetting that maybe we'd hurt yours... and Brain's.

Arthur: Well, thanks for the forgiveness, but I think I just wanna play checkers for fun right now.

Francine: Oh, okay. But who are we gonna get, then? I mean, I'm terrible at board games.