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| ''Buster sits at a library computer. Nearby, George and Fern are slumped over a desk.'' | | ''Buster sits at a library computer. Nearby, George and Fern are slumped over a desk.'' |
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| '''Buster:''' Okay, let's see what the Rabid Dog homepage has on... tri-enzomated zorn jelly. | | '''Buster:''' Okay, let's see what the Rabid Dog homepage has Coke, Spinning Wheel, a Loud Golden THX Tornado Explosion Blast Extendedly Sparta Remix |
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| ''The website shows a dog logo, followed by smoke and a spinning wheel. There is a loud howling noise.''
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| '''Paige Turner:''' Shh...
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| ''Buster turns the sound off.''
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| '''Buster:''' Okay, let's see. "Candy, an important part of every meal." Ah, "ingredients". ''Eight columns fill the whole screen.'' (gasps) The type is so small. Ah, here we go. Tri-enzomated zorn jelly. ''He clicks on it and the screen turns green.'' Huh? What happened? Weird.
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| '''Fern+George:''' (groan)
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| '''George:''' I feel hot and dizzy.
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| '''Fern:''' Is somebody spinning the library?
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| '''Buster (narrator):''' This candy bar was starting to smell rotten, no matter what a pretty package they put her in.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''In Buster’s imagination, the candy lady sits on Buster’s desk.''
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| '''Buster (narrator):''' It was time for me to have a heart-to-heart with Little Miss Sweetness.
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| '''Buster:''' Everywhere you go, you leave a trail of misery.
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| '''Candy Lady:''' Can I help it if people like me? I was born delicious.
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| '''Buster:''' You're mixed up with a bad crowd and I wanna know why.
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| '''Candy Lady:''' What do you want me to say? That I'm sweet and pure like Suzy Applecheeks there? ''She points at the apple.'' Well, I'm not. I'm exciting and unique and...and... complicated! (sobs)
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| ''Buster notices a label saying “Ingredients” on her coat. He wipes her tears with a handkerchief.''
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| '''Buster:''' I'll say. Here. I hate to see candy cry. ''There is a yellow stain on Buster’s handkerchief which emits sparks. Buster licks it.'' Wow! You are delicious.
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| '''Candy Lady:''' Told you. Want some more?
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| ''Buster looks scared.''
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| '''Buster (narrator):''' I felt myself getting sucked in. There was only one person left I could turn to.
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| ''He runs out of his office.''
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| ''Bitzi Baxter is eating a salad in her office. Buster stands beside her.''
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| '''Mrs. Baxter:''' A Big Boss bar? Buster, you don't want to eat this.
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| '''Buster:''' Yes, Mom, I do. At least, I think I do. I just want all the facts first.
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| '''Mrs. Baxter:''' Well, you've come to the right place. Want to take a tour with me of Rabid Dog corporate headquarters?
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| '''Buster:''' You can do that?
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| '''Mrs. Baxter:''' I've got a few favors I can call in.
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| ''She presses a button on her phone.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Buster and his mom walk into the Rabid Dog headquarters. A promotional video on a screen in the lobby shows a molecule forming in front of a rainbow.''
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| '''Video:''' "Every Rabid Dog product is made with the finest ingredients. Our tri-enzomated zorn jelly comes from pure zorn extracts. Each molecule is lovingly crafted by over 100 scientists."
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| '''Buster:''' But what is it? | |
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| ''Supreme Dog appears behind him.''
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| '''Supreme Dog:''' It's our special ingredient. I'd tell ya, but then it wouldn't be a secret.
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| '''Mrs. Baxter:''' Ahem. Bitzi Baxter from the Elwood City Times, thank you for meeting us, Mr...
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| '''Supreme Dog:''' Just call me Supreme Dog, we're very informal here.
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| '''Mrs. Baxter:''' Well, if it's all right, Mr. Supreme Dog, my son has a few questions about your Big Boss Bar.
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| '''Supreme Dog:''' Like why they're so darn tasty?
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| '''Buster:''' No, like why my friends can't stop eating them.
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| '''Supreme Dog:''' Oh, that's easy. I'll show you. ''He changes the program on the screen. It now shows a cross-section of a head.'' When you bite into a Big Boss Bar, molecules of tri-enzomated zorn jelly attach themselves to parts of your brain and make you happy. But when the little molecules die, your brain gets sad. Until you eat some more.
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| '''Mrs. Baxter:''' Are you saying these candy bars are... addictive?
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| '''Supreme Dog:''' Certainly not. Heh heh. I am saying they're delicious.
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| '''Buster:''' Whatever you're saying, I don't want this any more. Here, you eat it.
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| ''He hands Supreme Dog his bar.''
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| '''Supreme Dog:''' Uh, no, no, thanks, I just had one.
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| '''Buster:''' No, you didn't. You'd still be sparkling, or jumping.
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| ''Supreme Dog walks backwards.''
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| '''Supreme Dog:''' Easy, little feller. Just put the bar down.
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| '''Buster:''' Take a bite, it's your product.
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| '''Supreme Dog:''' No, keep it away from me! Keep it away from me!
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| ''He runs out of the building. A man hands Mrs. Baxter a note.''
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| '''Mrs. Baxter:''' “We are sorry to inform you that Supreme Dog has had to take a personal day. The interview is over.” I think I know what tomorrow's headline is going to be: “Candy Company Cons Kids!”
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| ''They walk out.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''In his imagination, Buster watches as a policeman puts handcuffs on the man in the dark coat.''
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| '''Buster (narrator):''' The ace reporter had a new story, and I had lost my sweet tooth.
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| ''Buster removes the man’s sunglasses and sees that it is Supreme Dog. The policeman takes Supreme Dog away and Buster walks over to the Candy Lady.''
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| '''Buster:''' Sorry, kiddo, but I'm gonna cut you loose.
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| '''Candy Lady:''' I thought you were my friend, but you're just like all the others.
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| '''Buster:''' You made me feel like a million bucks, baby, but now I know that was the tri-enzomated zorn jelly talking. And the polytartaric thyglycamine.
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| ''A police officer takes the Candy Lady away.''
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| '''Candy Lady:''' Oh! (sobs)
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| ''The fantasy ends.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''The Elwood City Times has the headline “Candy Company Cons Kids” and a picture of Supreme Dog behind bars. A copy lies on a table at the side of a street where Binky is still trying to sell Big Boss bars. Buster walks up to him eating an apple.''
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| '''Binky:''' Big Boss Bars! Two for a quarter! Ever since this newspaper article came out, no one's buying. It'll take me years to unload this junk.
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| '''Buster:''' Don't worry, with the amount of chemicals in them, they'll stick around for centuries.
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| '''Binky:''' I sunk plenty into this scam and now I'm eating it.
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| '''Buster:''' It beats eating those.
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| '''Binky:''' You said a mouthful, Buster. A big, sparkling mouthful.
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| ''Buster walks on.''
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| [[Category:Transcripts]]
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| [[Category:Season 15 transcripts]]
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| [[Category:2010]]
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