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I'm a Poet/Transcript

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Revision as of 17:16, 12 July 2018 by OneWeirdDude (talk | contribs) (Added raw transcript from YouTube and removed timestamps. Might come back later to fix it.)
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my sister is a sissy by Jack

Prelutsky my sister is a sissy she's

afraid of dogs and cats a toad can give

her tantrums and she's terrified of rats

she screams at things with stingers

things that buzz and things that crawl

just the shadow of a spider sends my

sister up the wall

a lizard makes her shiver and a turtle

makes her squirm she positively cringes

at the prospect of a worm she's afraid

of things with feathers she's afraid of

things with pearl she's scared of almost

everything how come I'm scared of her

(Title card)

I'M A POET

Writer: Joe Fallon

Storyboard Artist: Kevin Currie

(Bird singing, thunder crashing)

Binky Barnes: (voice-over) I'm a Poet!

(Back to the story)

Nigel Ratburn: Only two days until the library poetry contest, and only one student has signed up! Fern!

Francine Frensky: Fern never said she wrote poetry!

fern never says anything

the judge is famous poet Jack Prelutsky

not too late to enter listen I'm a poet

moon June spoon a loon

just thinking of poetry oh it makes me

sleepy binky

no it's twice as boring as a poem what

two poems ha ha you only make fun

because you couldn't write a poem if you

tried the most she said all year you

tell him fun maybe I couldn't write a

poem but neither could day I could if I

wanted to meet you no problem I can

write a better poem than you with my

brain time my back Arthur oh yeah I'd

like to see that oh I bet none of you

could even write a poem I could - maybe

binky can't but I can

there's nothing Martha can do that I

can't do you are a good writer longer I

had a jack I'm please II I'll be bad I'm

gonna help me but they're all right

alone right now I bet that none of you

can write a poem and finish it in time

to submit it to the poetry contest I'll

bet I'll not only read better than

Billy's is anybody else hungry anyone

who does it has to join the Poetry Club

for a year bet or are you a bunch of

chickens

you write a poem I thought you I don't

want to go to Poetry Club for a whole

year it'll be a cinch we just find a

good poem and write one like it the time

has come the walrus said to talk of many

things of shoes and ships and sealing

wax of cabbages and kings and why the

sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have

wings nod I don't think I can write like

that let's find one that makes sense

what does this mean something better

than his dog a little dearer than his

horse maybe it's a riddle

what's better than his dog a little deer

and then his horse a gerbil that can do

your homework nothing's better than my

dog skip this guy he doesn't like dogs

whoa listen to these titles the Haunted

palace the Conqueror worm that must be

about a giant worm listen it was the dad

who groaned within cool I got one that

makes sense

listen my children and you shall hear of

the midnight ride of Paul Revere alright

we're ready

how long did you work on your poem last

night I sort of watch TV

brain has finished his poem already can

I read it to you

any comments will help me perfect it for

the contest I the brain will explain

what makes rain water droplets are what

clouds contain they reach saturation

become precipitation hit the ground and

roll right down the drain I'm then - my

favorite thing to do is shop for shoes

shirts coats wings you can never have

enough jewelry and games until I drop I

love to shop that's not a poem it's a

list shop rhymes with drop duh everyone

else remember to have your poems done by

tomorrow listen my children as I tell

you about a duck in a chicken on a bus

to Oklahoma yeah buster when you're done

with your poem can you help me I'm done

but I'm busy watching a video sorry I

know a great poem roses are red violets

are blue my nose smells and your feet

too - that's so funny

doesn't that crack you up Arthur Arthur

why the big rush to get to school I have

to stop at ferns house

again Once Upon a midnight cloudy a big

old bat said howdy howdy buster

oh you said you were done well I didn't

want you to think I couldn't do it

instead of copying other people's poems

why not just write about what you like

who'd want to hear what I like who

wouldn't

today is very boring it's a very boring

day there is nothing much to look at

there is nothing much to say there's a

peacock on my sneakers there's a penguin

on my head there's a dormouse on my

doorstep I am going back to bed today is

very boring it is boring through and

through there is absolutely nothing that

I think I want to do I see Giants riding

rhinos and an ogre with a sword there's

a dragon blowing smoke ring I am

positively bored today is very boring

I can hardly help but yawn there's a

flying saucer landing in the middle of

my lawn a volcano just erupted less than

half a mile away and I think I felt an

earthquake it's a very boring day thank

you thank you let's have our first

contestant and the ghosts of all the

fallen trees weep for a world that can't

live without them thank you mr. polesky

I have all of your poetry books you are

obviously little girl with impeccable

taste our next poet is francine frensky

my dad took me to a hockey game I got

hit in the head by a puck I get up ow my

head

ow call an ambulance out ow oh brother

this hurts put ice on it it's gonna

swell I got a big old purple lump on my

head and used it for show-and-tell

uh sir people think I can't write a poem

but they are so wrong I can write a poem

I wrote this one I wrote this poem and I

gave it the title

binky's poem so shut up the end that's

not a poem here I'm poem was poem four

times it was great yeah binky our final

poet is Buster Baxter these are the

things that make me nauseous gloppy

green goop that drips from faucets blue

hair that grows on slices of bread when

your big old dog tears in your bag when

a dirty sock drops on your face to you

when your friend's baby sister starts to

speak half a worm in the Apple you bit

finding human bone in your jello

throwing no slime lean and yellow and

people who eat creamed corn with their

mouths open so you can see it in i

probably shouldn't mention the free

butterscotch pudding being served at the

reception Oh Julie I couldn't help it

the street was full of elephants our

final final poem is Jimmy goes to the

city by Arthur read Jimmy was a happy

ape until some hunters caught him he

liked the jungle better than the city

where they brought him the city was

louder this

city was meaner even the dirt and the

jungle was cleaner so Jimmy made a

daring escape the hunters were suddenly

minus-18 he climbed the tallest building

because from there he'd seen how far

away the jungle was from the middle of

the city Jimmy jumped into a passing

plane but the pilot didn't wait for him

to explain jimmy flew back to the jungle

and all the same friends in their lair

the city is okay for a visit but you

couldn't make me live there and the

winner of the contest is I hate

contrasts you all win and nobody has to

join the Poetry Club because they won

the bet but this was young I know lots

of other disgusting if I want to join

hey here's a sign-up list mister / let's

ki could you read us another poem all

right well Buster's poem put me in mind

of one of my own called jellyfish -

jellyfish

I'm loony for you I dearly adore you oh

who the I do