How the Cookie Crumbles/Transcript

Arthur Read: (grunting) Hurry!

Francine Frensky: Binky, keep your foot out of my mouth!

Binky: Hold it steady! I'm almost there!

(all yelling)

Binky: I smell food. (sniffing) It's me! I'm a cookie! (giggling)

The Brain: (sniffing) We're all cookies!

Francine: I've always wanted to be a cookie. 

The Brain: I've always wanted to be an astrophysicist.

Binky: (he sees a shadow of a large hand) Huh?!

(all whimpering)

Muffy Crosswire: I know you're in there.

Arthur: A glass of milk! That must mean---

Muffy: It's snacktime!

Arthur: NOOOOOO!

(the cookies try to get away from Muffy)

Muffy: I know where you're hiding.

Arthur: We should have a choice of whether we get eaten.

Muffy: Cookies don't get to choose, silly.

The Brain: Wouldn't you prefer a piece of nutritious fruit?

(the cookies talk at once)

Muffy: Quiet! I baked you, now I'm gonna eat you! 

Francine: But that's not fair!

Muffy: Fair, schmair! Whoever owns ovens makes the rules. That's just the way it is.

Binky: Look out!

(Title Card)

HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES

Written by: Joe Fallon    ---  Storyboard by Brian Anderson      

Binky: (V.O.) How the Cookie Crumbles.

(We now return to the story)                                                

#

Arthur and Francine meet in the treehouse. Both hold cutouts of the cookie article.

Francine: We made those cookies and she didn't even mention us?!

Arthur: Maybe she just forgot.           Brain joins them.

Brain: Did you read about Muffy?

Arthur+Francine: We know.

Brain: We did all the work, and she got the prize.     Binky comes with a newspaper.

Binky: Did anyone see this? Can you believe it? These sneakers are on sale!    Francine hands him a cutout.

Francine: Read this and weep!     Binky reads.

Binky: What?? I said banana. Banana was my idea! Without me, there's no banana! I'm gonna talk to her!

#

Arthur, Francine, Binky and Brain sit in front of the Sugar Bowl.

Binky: Here she comes.    

Muffy: (hums)      They surround Muffy.

Binky: Hold it right there!

Muffy: I'm sorry. There are no samples. You'll have to buy cookies like everyone else.

Francine: Buy them?? We made them!

Brain: I did the math. We're responsible for 72% of the ingredients.

Binky: I said banana. Banana was my idea! Without me, there is no banana!

Muffy: Oh, yeah? Well, who bought the ingredients? Who owns the oven? Who entered the contest? Moi. You're all just jealous.    She leaves.

Arthur:  Are we just jealous?

Francine: No. She's a bigger rat than Ratburn!

Binky: Banana was my idea!

Francine: Oh, stop with the banana already!

#

Francine, Binky and Arthur are in the treehouse.

Francine: Okay. I wrote out the whole recipe. Now we can make our own cookies and drive that rat out of business.   Muffy looks in.

Muffy: Um, guys?

Francine: Did I hear a little rat squeak?

Binky: No, it’s Muffy! She’s right there!

Muffy: How would you like to help me make more cookies?

Binky: Banana!

Francine: Why don’t you just make them by yourself… like you did the last time?

Muffy: I’m sorry you feel like I cheated you. Now may I please have the recipe?

Francine: Okay.    She hands Muffy the recipe.

Arthur: You’re going to give us credit this time, right?

Muffy: I don’t think that’s going to be possible.

Arthur: I don't get it. You're rich, you have everything. Why do you cheat for something like cookies?

Muffy: You don’t know what it’s like to be me. I have a reputation.

Francine: As a dishonest rat!

Muffy: As a winner! I had to prove to everyone I could win it again.

Arthur: But you couldn't. We did it together.

Muffy: But nobody knows that.

Binky: You know it and we know it.

Francine: If you care more about cookies than friendship, then go ahead!    Muffy starts climbing down but comes back.

Muffy: This is the right recipe?

Binky: Yes.       Again, Muffy starts climbing down but comes back.

Muffy: You didn't put any tricks in it, so the cookies taste like junk, did you?

Arthur: Muffy, you can trust us. We're your friends.

Muffy: Great. See ya.    She climbs down and leaves.

Francine: I thought she'd choose friendship. Boy was I wrong!

#

Arthur, Francine and Binky walk past the Sugar Bowl.

Francine: I can't go in the Sugar Bowl anymore, knowing they sell those cookies.   

Muffy comes out of the Sugar Bowl and runs after them with a bag of cookies.

Muffy: Wait up! I want you guys to have the first bag of cookies.

Francine: I don’t even want to look at those miserable things.

Arthur: Look, it says “Muffy and Friends”.    The bag is labelled “Muffy & Friends, Scrumptious Smackeroodles”. Muffy hands out cookies. They are in the shape of her friends.   Wow, neat!

Francine: So you finally realized honesty and friendship are more important than winning?

Muffy: Yeah. I’m sorry. My Dad and I talked about it. He said a lie is a lie, even when you get away with it. And, being a car salesman, he won't stand for any lying. Since these worked out so well, let's start working on my recipe for next year.

Francine: Whose new recipe?!

Muffy: Oh right, wait. Our new recipe. I just have to get used to that.

Arthur: How about a cake?

Francine: Or donuts?

Binky: Banana. Lots and lots of bananas.     They walk into the Sugar Bowl.