D.W.'s Very Bad Mood/Transcript

• (The episode starts out in an old-fashioned set at morning, Arthur is inside the house)
• ARTHUR: It's really nice when you have a perfect family. 
• MRS. READ: Here you go, son. A nutritious lunch, all neatly packed for you.
• ARTHUR: Gee-whiz. Thanks, mother.
• MR. READ: Son, would you like a ride to school?
• ARTHUR: Golly, father. Thanks a million.
• (Someone rings the doorbell)
• FRANCINE and BRAIN: Hello, Mrs. Read. Hello, Mr. Read.
• ARTHUR, MRS. READ and MR. READ: Hi, kids!
• FRANCINE: Arthur, are you ready? We've never ever been late for school. And we don't wanna break a perfect record.
• ARTHUR: I'll be right there.You see, my life is just about perfect. Except for one little thing. (camera shakes) Can you guess?
• (Francine and Brain scream and run away, D.W. destroys the house)
• D.W.: Where's my breakfast? (everybody evacuates the house) Come back here! I'm hungry!
• (We hear a lot of screaming as D.W. tries destroying stuff, then her hand comes near the camera)
• FRANCINE (voice-over): D.W.'s very bad mood. (Kate cries)
• (As soon as the intertitle cuts to the show, we see Arthur pouring cereal into a bowl)
• ARTHUR: Okay, okay. So I'm slightly exaggerating.
• D.W.: These corn pops are soggy. I won't eat them!
• ARTHUR: But only slightly.
• D.W.: You can't make me! And I'm not going to preschool either! I'm sick of preschool. I'll do what I want! Do you hear me? Do You? (we cut to Arthur at the Sugar Bowl sleeping)
• FRANCINE: One for you. And one for you. And Arthur... Wake up! 
• ARTHUR: Hmm? 
• FRANCINE: I'm inviting you to my birthday party.
• ARTHUR: I'm sorry. I can't go. I'm too tired.
• FRANCINE: The party's not for two more weeks. You'll have plenty of time to sleep.
• ARTHUR: On a bet? D.W.'s gone absolutely nuts! Last night she wouldn't stop screaming!
• (Cuts to D.W.'s room at night)
• D.W.: You're just making me go to bed because you don't want me around. You don't love me, you wish I wasn't even born.
• MR. READ: (kisses D.W.) Sleep tight, D.W. (turns off light) Let's hope you feel better in the morning
• (When Mr. Read shuts the door, D.W. runs to it and slams it a lot)
• D.W.: I won't feel better in the morning! (slam) I won't, I won't, I won't! (slam) I won't! (slam)
• (Cuts back to the Sugar Bowl)
• ARTHUR: She did that all night long. What if she never lets me go to sleep again? 
• BRAIN: Actually, that would be a very interesting experiment. You can show your deterioration and then when your brain starts to shut down... 
• FRANCINE: Arthur, why don't you ask her what's wrong?
• ARTHUR: Why don't you ask her?
• FRANCINE: Okay, I will. (Soon the Reads are having dinner as it cuts to that scene) Thanks, Mrs. Read.
• MRS. READ: (bringing some orange fries to the table) My pleasure.
• (D.W. grabs some fries and eats two handfuls at once)
• MRS. READ: D.W., one at a time!
• D.W.: You're always picking on me! You never pick on anyone else. Only me, me, me!
• MRS. READ: You know that's not true, D.W. Everybody has to eat politely and that includes you.
• D.W.: That does not include me. You never include me. You always make me stay home whenever there's anything fun. Only Arthur gets to have fun. Only Arthur--
• FRANCINE: D.W., can I ask you a question?
• D.W.: Maybe.
• FRANCINE: What's the matter with you? 
• (D.W. gasps and runs to her room crying)
• FRANCINE: Aww...
• ARTHUR: That was great. You really solved the problem.
• FRANCINE: I didn't think she'd get so upset.
• MR. READ: It's not your fault, Francine.
• FRANCINE: May I be excused? (walks upstairs and into D.W.'s room where she is still crying) I'm sorry, D.W. I didn't mean to hurt you feelings, but you really are being a total doofus. If you know what I mean.
• D.W.: Who asked you? (sobs) You don't even live here.
• FRANCINE: Well nobody asked me. But I'm Arthur's friend. When something's bugging him, I wanna help. 
• D.W.: You know what, Francine? 
• FRANCINE: What?
• D.W.: Go... go! ...home. I'm too tired to think of anymore mean things to say.
• (Soon the kids at Lakewood Elementary are in the cafeteria, including Arthur, Brain and Francine)
• BRAIN: So did Francine figure out what's wrong with D.W.? 
• ARTHUR: No, it only made her worse. Last night she slamed so many doors, I thought we'd get arrested.
• (Cuts to a show called "Tantrum 911")
• ANNOUNCER: Join us for another nerve-wracking half-hour of Temper Tantrum Patrol Squad!
• (A bunch of kids are crying and a police officer arrests them)
• (Soon a helicopter and two cars come to The Reads' house and Mr. Read answers the door, holding Kate)
• MR. READ: Thank heavens your here! Upstairs, and to the right.
• (Three officers go upstairs to D.W.'s room)
• OFFICER: You got the right to remain silent!
• D.W.: I will not be silent, I'll be as loud as I want! And you can't stop me! No one can stop me! Who'd make you the boss of the world?
• OFFICER: (talks through walkie-talkie) We need backup fast! 
• (Cuts back to the cafeteria where Arthur and friends sit and begin talking)
• BINKY: Cool. When's that gonna be on? 
• FRANCINE: You know what? I think D.W.'s being a pain because she's upset about something. 
• ARTHUR: What does D.W. have to be upset about? She's only four years old!
• BINKY: Yeah. It's not like she's a third-grader! 
• FRANCINE: It might sound weird, but something bothering her, and it's up to us to get to the bottom of it. Starting today. 
• BRAIN: But we have soccer practice today! 
• FRANCINE: Starting tomorrow. 
• BRAIN: Gee, I'd love to. but I have to clean the garage.
• BINKY: And I have to... I have to do.. Clean our garage too! Yeah, wow. What a coinidence. 
• ARTHUR: Thanks a lot, guys. 
• BINKY: Anytime.
• (Cuts to Arthur and Francine in the treehouse with binoculars)
• ARTHUR: Subject in view. 
• FRANCINE: What's she doing?
• ARTHUR: She's eating her sandwich, she's making a face, she's spitting the bologna into her hand... She's throwing it into the bushes. Pal is eating the bowl... (yells) Pal! Put that down!
• FRANCINE: Quiet! Spies don't yell.
• ARTHUR: Sorry. I couldn't help it. Seening Pal eats spit-covered bologna? Yech!
• FRANCINE: Give me those! Where'd she go? (she looks down and there D.W. is!) Aaah!
• D.W.: (growls) I know what you're doing and it won't work!
• (Cuts to the Read's house at night)
• ARTHUR: She's not saying anything! And it's 10:00 and I'm tired!
• FRANCINE: Arthur, I'm telling you. Whatever it is, she'll say it in her sleep. You can't give up. 
• ARTHUR: Hm. Wait, this must be it! (Arthur repeats what D.W. says, which is this:)
• D.W.: Oh. It's wrong. Something wrong. Because... It's because... Because... Arthur is a Dodo-brain!
• ARTHUR: Because Arthur is a dodobrain. (Francine laughs over phone) Stop laughing, Francine.
• (Soon it is day near D.W.'s preschool where Arthur and D.W. are hiding in the bushes)
• ARTHUR: This is it, Francine. If we can't figure out what's wrong with D.W. today, then I give up. 
• FRANCINE: I'm telling you, Arthur, we're close. Then you can sleep. Wait, there she is. 
• (A bunch of girls are in the way of Arthur and Francine)
• LISA: First we'll go to the movie, and then we'll go back to my house so you can give me my presents.
• (A car comes)
• LISA: Remember, this Saturday at 1:00!
• ARTHUR: She's looking right at us!
• FRANCINE: Not us.  Them.
• (Arthur and Francine go to the Reads' house where D.W. and Mrs. Read are)
• FRANCINE: Hey, D.W.
• D.W.: Francine, can I ask you a question? 
• FRANCINE: Sure. Anything. 
• D.W.: Why don't you go back to your own house and stop bothering us?
• MRS. READ; D.W., this being rude to everybody has got to stop!
• D.W.: Well, I know something that might make me feel better. I know I'd feel much better if I could see Quazy Kool Kittens: The Journey Home. This Saturday at 1:00.
• MRS. READ: You seen that movie twice, D.W. 
• (D.W. growls)
• FRANCINE: How about if we take her? Arthur and I would love to go.
• (Arthur pants loudly)
• (Soon the scene cuts to the movie theater)
• ARTHUR: Oh, how could you make me do this?
• FRANCINE: You wanna find out what's wrong with D.W., right? Just hang on. 
• ARTHUR: You better be right. Even D.W. isn't having fun. (The girls go to the same movie too)
• (D.W. starts fakely laughing)
• ARTHUR: What are you doing?
• D.W.: (ridiculous voice) Having fun! Loads and loads of fun.
• LISA: Oh, hi, D.W. 
• D.W.: Hi, Lisa. I didn't know you'd be here. I'm here with my friends. And we're having lots of fun. (laughs again, so does Francine) Because I have lots and lots of friends, I'm really popular. And I usually get invited to a lot of birthday parties. 
• LISA: Oh, that's nice. (sits down and whispers to the other girls)
• (D.W. looks scared and sad at the same time, then she looks away angrily as the movie comes on)
• ARTHUR: Well, maybe the previews will be interesting.
• D.W.: I don't feel good. I wanna go home. 
• ARTHUR: D.W., we just got here. Wait a minute, what am I saying? Let's go.
• (Arthur, D.W. and Francine leave the movie)
• ARTHUR: Great. We spent all that money. And we still don't know what's wrong with her. Except she's driving me absolutely busalooey. And you know how much I hate that word? 
• FRANCINE: Arthur, D.W. and I are gonna get some ice cream. Why don't you go home? 
• ARTHUR: What?
• FRANCINE: I'm sorry, this is just for girls. See you later. And so, it's kind of like you shouldn't ever feel left out, because you just might not be. Get it? 
• D.W.: No. 
• FRANCINE: The point is, you shouldn't feel bad just because you didn't get invited to that birthday party.
• (D.W. looks surprised)
• D.W.: What birthday party?
• FRANCINE: Come on D.W. Those girls at the movie, that's what been bugging you this whole week. Right?
• D.W.: Yeah, maybe. Francine, can you help me?
• FRANCINE: Of course, D.W. Anything you say.
• D.W.: Okay, so here's what I want. I wanna hire a balloon. 
• GIRLS: Happy birthday, Lisa. (start singing, and then gasp)
• (we hear D.W. cackling)
• D,W,: Time to rain a little parade! (pulls lever and a bunch of water make the background less colorful)
• (The girls scream as D.W. is still cackling)
• FRANCINE: That sounds kind of mean. 
• D.W.; Well they were mean first. 
• FRANCINE: Look. I know you feel left out. Maybe there wasn't enough room. 
• D.W.: Hey, whose side are you on anyway?
• FRANCINE: Is Lisa someone you play with a lot?
• D.W.: Well, no. But, she's friends with my friend Emily. And she got to go to the party.
• FRANCINE: Everybody can't go to every party. But I think I have an idea that will make you feel much better. 
• D.W.: What? What?
• (Soon we return to the Reads' house in the morning, where there is mail being dropped on the table)
• ARTHUR: Hey, look at... It's for D.W. 
• D.W.: What? Really? It's for me? What is it? (opens it) Wow! (gives it to Mrs. Read)
• MRS. READ: Miss D.W. Read is invited...
• D.W.: I'm invited! (says it two more times) To what?
• MRS. READ: To Francine's birthday party! 
• D.W.: Yes!
• ARTHUR: What? No way.
• D.W.: This is better than Lisa's party! This is a third-grade party. Just wait till I tell them. Just wait.
• MRS. READ: What a nice friend Francine is. 
• (Arthur starts moaning)
• (episode ends)