Buster Hits the Books/Transcript

(Open onto the episode as we see Arthur walking up in front of the screen in front of a book.)

Arthur: The great thing about books, is that there are all different kinds.

(We cut to a wider shot, as it is revealed that there are hundreds of books stacked next to each other like dominoes as Arthur begins walking past them. As Arthur talks the next line, we see a different book based on whatever genre he describes; a picture of a flying train going over a city; three basketball players; a cat wearing a hat, boots, and playing the trumpet with a mouse carrying a bindle, walking behind; two kids being detectives holding magnifying glasses examining the ground. Arthur then approaches a big brown book.)

Arthur: There's fiction, that's made-up stuff, and non-fiction that's real stuff. There's picture books and chapter books. There's books about history like this one.

(The moment Arthur opens the history book, a horse with a man riding on it, comes stampeding very rapidly towards him, with a bunch of envelopes flying everywhere. Arthur yells with terror. The horse comes to an abrupt halt and whinnies as Arthur quickly shuts the book, panting.)

Arthur: History can be pretty exciting.

(Arthur walks up to the book right behind the history book. It's blue with an anchor illustrated on it.)

Arthur: Here's a book about the ocean.

(Like the history book, the moment Arthur opens the book, a large torrent of ocean water comes flowing out of the book. Arthur screams as Buster comes out wearing swimming goggles and his bathing cap, swimming in the water. A squid pops out from behind the book's covering, glaring at Arthur.)

Squid: What's the matter with you, you raised in a barn?

(Arthur looks on in disbelief as the squid closes the book as it goes back inside it. Arthur bangs his head, trying to get water out of his ears as Buster stands up to look at him.)

Buster: What are you doing, Arthur?

Arthur: I can't hear you!

(Arthur bangs against his head once more, and a sea creature pops out from one of his ears.)

Arthur: That's better.

(The sea creature walks up to the ocean book, knocks on it, and jumps back inside the ocean from inside the book.)

Arthur: (to Buster) I'm looking at all the different kinds of books.

Buster: Books? Who cares about books?

(Arthur gasps and falls backward in horror and bumps into the ocean book knocking it over, then the other, which leads to all the books knocking into one another, creating a domino chain. As the happens, characters from the books begin coming out of them; two men wearing jet packs, pirates, the horse and man from the history book (to which Arthur screams at again) a gorilla, several kids, a princess, a suit of armor, Dracula, Little Red Riding Hood, Frankenstein, and a mummy, which begins walking out of its tomb.)

(Title Card)

Buster Hits the Books

Written by: Joe Fallon --- Storyboard by: J.O'Neill & I. Tankushev

Francine (voiceover): Buster Hits the Books

Arthur: Ya-Hoo!

(We fade into Mr. Ratburn's class where Ratburn has written a long math equation: "36 divided by 3 times 24 minus 13 plus 20 divided by 14 plus 3 minus 20 times 10"

Buster: Am I the only one who's brain hurts?

Arthur: (whispers as he copies down the equation) The last time I've seen this many numbers in a row, I was paying for a broken window out of my allowance.

Mr. Ratburn: Who has the answer? Buster?

Arthur: (to Buster) You'd better get it right.

Buster: (nervously) I-I-s it z-zero?

Mr. Ratburn: Correct.

(At that moment the school bell rings as the class begins to get up and leave the classroom. Buster rubs his forehead in relief)

Buster: (to himself) Ah, I thought I was I gonna die.

Mr. Ratburn: (to the class as they leave) Don't forget, your book reports are due tomorrow morning.

(Arthur and Buster walk up to Fern and Brain, who have already left the classroom, standing near the lockers.)

Fern: What are you writing your book report on, Arthur?

Arthur: I've been reading a lot of good books lately. I'm trying to choose between the two best.

Brain: If you can't decide, I've read an exciting book about magnetic fields that I highly recommend.

(Arthur, Buster and Fern's mouths fall open in disbelief)

Fern: No thanks, it can't be as good as "The Case of the Creepy Shadow." (she pulls out that book.)

Brain: What about you, Buster? (he pulls out a set of magnets sticking to one another) It's intriguing reading and comes with six free magnets.

Buster: Um, sounds great, Brain, but I plan to do what I always do. Book reports are no sweat.

(Fade to later that night, at Buster's Condo where Buster is watching a movie on TV, eating a bowl of purple chips. Meanwhile, we transition to Fern in her room, with the lights turned off except for her desk lamp, writing her book report.)

Fern: (while writing) "Only one thing could've set the horses free," (beat) "The creepy shadow..."

(Transition back to Buster watching his movie, now eating mini-sandwiches, while hanging upside-down in his chair. Transition to Brain, writing his book report, while at his computer desk, with two pairs of magnets near each other.)

Brain: (while writing) "Opposites attract" (He slides one of the magnet closer to the other. The two magnets click together on their opposite poles) "This has proven by scientific research performed in my room."

(Transition back to Buster leaning forward on the edge of his chair, with his fingers moving inside his mouth as he watches excitedly at the movie. Transition to Arthur writing his book report, with his bedroom lights off except for the light at his desk.)

Jane: (off-screen, from downstairs) Arthur! Bedtime!

Arthur: (calling back) Ten more minutes, Mom! I have to finish this book report!

(A screen mashup is shown, displaying Arthur, Brain and Fern writing their book reports, while Buster has already gone to bed. Transition to next morning where Arthur and Buster are walking to school, going past The Sugar Bowl. Arthur has bags under his eyes.)

Buster: You look tired.

Arthur: (yawning and pulls out his book report paper from his backpack) I had to get up extra early to finish my book report. Didn't you do one?

Buster: (stops walking) Of course I did.

(Buster takes off his backpack, opens it up, and pulls something that looks like a book. It has a hideous green creature on the front and a title that reads: Pa-Kanong Creature With The Big Face.)

Buster: Here it is.

Arthur: (reading the title) "Pa-Kanong Creature With The Big Face" (takes it out of Buster's hands) I wish I read that. Can I borrow it?

Buster: (takes it back) I... don't... think so.

(Rubs against the case)

Arthur: Why not? I've returned everything I borrowed from you. Even that gum.

Buster: I can't loan it to you.

(Binky comes up on his bike and notices the cover in Buster's hands, and smiles confidently as he looks behind.)

Binky: "Pa-Kanong" Hey! I saw that on the Giant Monster Channel last night. (on the verge of tears) Big, ugly, misunderstood. I cried.

(Binky rides away.)

Arthur: Buster! Is that why you can't loan your book to me? You did a book report about a movie?

Buster: (as he puts the DVD back his backpack) So? That's how I do all my book reports. All movies come from books.

(Arthur shakes his head. Buster puts his hands up on his face, panic-stricken.)

Buster: They don't? Uh-oh!

(Fade to Arthur and Buster at the Elwood City Library. Arthur is at the front desk, while Ms. Turner is typing, and Buster pacing around anxiously.)

Buster: (under his breath) Be a book. Please, be a book.

Ms. Turner: Sorry. No book called "Pa-Kanong: Creature With The Big Face" was ever published, but it was a movie in 1957. Would you like the video?

(Buster turns an upset look at Arthur, while Arthur looks back for a brief moment.)

Arthur: (to Ms. Turner) No, thank you.