And Now Let's Talk to Some Kids/Transcript

Introduction

Arthur is sitting in class.

Arthur: Have you ever noticed how people's personalities fit them perfectly?

Mr. Ratburn: We need more homework and quizzes. Buster is reading a joke book.

Buster: (laughs) I love jokes! They're funny!

Francine: to Muffy: No, I'm not going to the mall. I'm playing soccer. And so are you.

Muffy: Oh, you are so rude!

Arthur: Now imagine if they had different personalities. They's seem really weird!

Mr. Ratburn (Buster's voice): And for tonight's homework, everyone find one really funny joke and read it in class tomorrow. If I laugh, you get an A. (laughs)

Francine: No, I'm not going to the mall. I'm playing soccer... and so are you.

Binky (Muffy's voice): Oh, you are so rude! I'd rather go to the mall. They had the cutest sneakers on sale.

Pal is asleep on Arthur's desk where Arthur is daydreaming instead of doing homework. Pal sits up.

Pal (Mr. Read's voice): Arthur!

Arthur: Aaagh!

Pal (Mr. Read's voice): Are you thinking about math or daydreaming? Seven times three is not twenty-eight, it's twenty-one. Seven times one is seven. Seven times two is fourteen. Seven times three...

Arthur: Okay, okay. See how weird that would be? It's so much better when people act like themselves. Well, most of the time.

Pal (Mr. Read's voice): And after you do your homework I want you to scratch me behind the ears.

#

Arthur, Buster and D.W. watch “And Now Let's Talk To Some Kids”.

Arthur: I wonder how they choose these kids to be on TV.

Buster: Their parents probably work on the show.

D.W.: Imagine if they picked you! Here's Arthur on TV. She imitates glasses with her fingers. “My name is Arthur and my dog is named Pal. And blah-dee blah-dee blah! Isn't that interesting?" And here's the audience watching Arthur on TV. She lies down and pretends to sleep. (snores)

Buster: (giggles)

Arthur: Very funny, D.W. He gives Buster a look. Buster stops giggling.

Buster: I always think snoring is funny.

#

Arthur and Brain are riding the seesaw.

Arthur: Well, see ya! He runs away. Brain's end of the seesaw comes down.

Brain: Ow! Gravity is the only important scientific principle that can really hurt your backside.

#

Arthur is practicing the piano while Buster reads jokes from a book.

Buster: What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? Time to get a new watch! Thank you! Thank you! D.W. comes in.

D.W.: Buster. What are you doing?

Buster: Practicing to be on TV. Maybe I'll get my own show.

D.W.: You on TV?

In her imagination she is sitting on the floor in front of the TV, just as she does at the end of the “Arthur” theme song.

Buster: Hey, D.W. Buster sits in the TV screen in the “Arthur” logo. The show's name is now “Buster”.

D.W.: Hey!

Buster: Whoa. Instead of falling backwards he falls out of the TV into the room.

D.W.: I knew it! I knew there were little people in the TV. Mom!

The fantasy ends.

Buster: If I become famous, you can be on TV with me.

D.W.: No, thanks. You'd try to make me look like I'm a brat or something. She walks out.

#

Arthur and Buster arrive at the school.

Buster: There's footprints in the peanut butter. (laughs) Sue Ellen walks by doing karate moves.

Sue Ellen: Hee-yah! Fern walks by reading from a book.

Fern: "There is no joy in Mudville..." Brain arrives.

Brain: Hi, guys.

Francine: Arthur says you're not gonna prepare anything for TV.

Brain: No. I'm rather busy working on my science project about nanoseconds.

Francine: Oh, yawn. Like that's as important as "The Magic Toolbox".

Fern: This could be a big opportunity, Brain.

Francine: He's just afraid he'd be boring. What would he do on TV anyway? Think?

The “Arthur” theme song plays with Brain walking down the street instead of Arthur.

Theme Song: "Every day when you're walking down the street... you stop and think." Brain stops and thinks.

Brain: Hm. Hm. He sits down on the curb. Hm.

The “Brain Swims” Title Card is shown.

D.W. (Narrator): Brain's New Puppy.

On the “Brain” show Brain is sitting on his bed.

Brain: Mom! Dad! I'm thinking about getting a new puppy. Hm. Hm. Hm.

Mr. Powers: Hm.

Mrs. Powers: Hm.

The fantasy ends.

Francine: Boy, that would be entertaining! I'm being sarcastic.

Brain: Being on TV just isn't all that important to me. He walks into the school.

Arthur: The Brain really doesn't care about being on TV.

Francine: Are you kidding? This is the saddest thing I ever saw. Including me not getting a puppy last Christmas!

Arthur+Buster: Huh?

Francine: He's obviously afraid. We have to help him realize that he's good at things he could do on TV.

Arthur: Really?

Francine: Believe me. I know people. Behind all that confidence he's secretly shy.

#

Arthur and Francine, both looking like they are about seventy years old, sit on a hovering couch.

Arthur: Didn't you once say Brain would never get on TV? They've got a whole channel for him!

Francine: Channel-shmannel. He still never got to be on “The Magic Toolbox” like us. She gets an old video cassette off a shelf and blows the dust off it. Hh!

Arthur: (coughs)

Francine: Wanna watch it? Is till got the tape. She inserts the cassette in a slot in the sofa. Look, there's me!

Arthur: That's Muffy!

Francine: Oh, yeah. And there's Buster Baxter. Whatever happened to him? Remember the song?

Arthur: Who could forget it?

Arthur+Francine: (sing:) “There's a level and a rule and a key for all the padlocks. Tools don't have to go to school. They learn in the magic toolbox! “ The camera zooms back.