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How the Cookie Crumbles/Transcript
Arthur Read: (grunting) Hurry!
Francine Frensky: Binky, keep your foot out of my mouth!
Binky: Hold it steady! I'm almost there!
(all yelling)
Binky: I smell food. (sniffing) It's me! I'm a cookie! (giggling)
The Brain: (sniffing) We're all cookies!
Francine: I've always wanted to be a cookie.
The Brain: I've always wanted to be an astrophysicist.
Binky: (he sees a shadow of a large hand) Huh?!
(all whimpering)
Muffy Crosswire: I know you're in there.
Arthur: A glass of milk! That must mean---
Muffy: It's snacktime!
Arthur: NOOOOOO!
(the cookies try to get away from Muffy)
Muffy: I know where you're hiding.
Arthur: We should have a choice of whether we get eaten.
Muffy: Cookies don't get to choose, silly.
The Brain: Wouldn't you prefer a piece of nutritious fruit?
(the cookies talk at once)
Muffy: Quiet! I baked you, now I'm gonna eat you!
Francine: But that's not fair!
Muffy: Fair, schmair! Whoever owns ovens makes the rules. That's just the way it is.
Binky: Look out!
(Title Card)
HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES
Written by: Joe Fallon --- Storyboard by Brian Anderson
Binky: (V.O.) How the Cookie Crumbles.
(We now return to the story)
#
Arthur and Francine meet in the treehouse. Both hold cutouts of the cookie article.
Francine: We made those cookies and she didn't even mention us?!
Arthur: Maybe she just forgot. Brain joins them.
Brain: Did you read about Muffy?
Arthur+Francine: We know.
Brain: We did all the work, and she got the prize. Binky comes with a newspaper.
Binky: Did anyone see this? Can you believe it? These sneakers are on sale! Francine hands him a cutout.
Francine: Read this and weep! Binky reads.
Binky: What?? I said banana. Banana was my idea! Without me, there's no banana! I'm gonna talk to her!
#
Arthur, Francine, Binky and Brain sit in front of the Sugar Bowl.
Binky: Here she comes.
Muffy: (hums) They surround Muffy.
Binky: Hold it right there!
Muffy: I'm sorry. There are no samples. You'll have to buy cookies like everyone else.
Francine: Buy them?? We made them!
Brain: I did the math. We're responsible for 72% of the ingredients.
Binky: I said banana. Banana was my idea! Without me, there is no banana!
Muffy: Oh, yeah? Well, who bought the ingredients? Who owns the oven? Who entered the contest? Moi. You're all just jealous. She leaves.
Arthur: Are we just jealous?
Francine: No. She's a bigger rat than Ratburn!
Binky: Banana was my idea!
Francine: Oh, stop with the banana already!
#
Francine, Binky and Arthur are in the treehouse.
Francine: Okay. I wrote out the whole recipe. Now we can make our own cookies and drive that rat out of business. Muffy looks in.
Muffy: Um, guys?
Francine: Did I hear a little rat squeak?
Binky: No, it’s Muffy! She’s right there!
Muffy: How would you like to help me make more cookies?
Binky: Banana!
Francine: Why don’t you just make them by yourself… like you did the last time?
Muffy: I’m sorry you feel like I cheated you. Now may I please have the recipe?
Francine: Okay. She hands Muffy the recipe.
Arthur: You’re going to give us credit this time, right?
Muffy: I don’t think that’s going to be possible.
Arthur: I don't get it. You're rich, you have everything. Why do you cheat for something like cookies?
Muffy: You don’t know what it’s like to be me. I have a reputation.
Francine: As a dishonest rat!
Muffy: As a winner! I had to prove to everyone I could win it again.
Arthur: But you couldn't. We did it together.
Muffy: But nobody knows that.
Binky: You know it and we know it.
Francine: If you care more about cookies than friendship, then go ahead! Muffy starts climbing down but comes back.
Muffy: This is the right recipe?
Binky: Yes. Again, Muffy starts climbing down but comes back.
Muffy: You didn't put any tricks in it, so the cookies taste like junk, did you?
Arthur: Muffy, you can trust us. We're your friends.
Muffy: Great. See ya. She climbs down and leaves.
Francine: I thought she'd choose friendship. Boy was I wrong!
#
Arthur, Francine and Binky walk past the Sugar Bowl.
Francine:I can't go in the Sugar Bowl anymore, knowing they sell those cookies.
Muffy comes out of the Sugar Bowl and runs after them with a bag of cookies.
Muffy: Wait up! I want you guys to have the first bag of cookies.
Francine: I don’t even want to look at those miserable things.
Arthur: Look, it says “Muffy and Friends”. The bag is labelled “Muffy & Friends, Scrumptious Smackeroodles”. Muffy hands out cookies. They are in the shape of her friends. Wow, neat!
Francine: So you finally realized honesty and friendship are more important than winning?
Muffy: Yeah. I’m sorry. My Dad and I talked about it. He said a lie is a lie, even when you get away with it. And, being a car salesman, he won't stand for any lying. Since these worked out so well, let's start working on my recipe for next year.
Francine: Whose new recipe?!
Muffy: Oh right, wait. Our new recipe. I just have to get used to that.
Arthur: How about a cake?
Francine: Or donuts?
Binky: Banana. Lots and lots of bananas. They walk into the Sugar Bowl.