Prunella Packs it In/Transcript

Prunella Packs It In

Introduction

In her fantasy Prunella walks through a stone hall carrying a torch.

Prunella: Grizelda the Fearless knew that the magic chalice lay hidden nearby but first, she had to sneak past the dreaded three-headed dog of Doogenkirk. Luckily, it was asleep. So all Grizelda had to do was tiptoe by in utter silence.   Prunella sneaks past the dog and up a stairway. A small stone falls down.   Oops!    The stone hits a shield on a wall with a loud gong. The dog wakes up and chases Prunella up a spiral staircase. On the upper floor she bangs on a door.     Lady Pinfore, Lady Pinfore, let me in! I beseech thee!

The fantasy ends. Rubella opens the door holding a book. Prunella’s torch is a plunger and the three headed dog is a stuffed toy dog.

Rubella: What?!

Prunella: Your Ladyship, you must grant me shelter. The three-headed dog of Doogenkirk is right behind me!

Rubella: I can't play right now, I'm studying for a test.

Prunella: How could the threat of a mere test compare with being savaged by the...?

Rubella: It's not just a test, Pruny, it's the college exam, and it's much much scarier than any three-headed dog, so keep it down.   She closes the door. Prunella picks up the dog.

Prunella: Don't worry, boy. I still think you're terrifying.  

Title Card: Fortune Teller

Brain serves Muffy in his parents’ ice-cream shop. Prunella comes in.

Prunella: Hey, Brain. One Magical Mystery Sundae, please.    to Muffy:  Do you want to come over and fight the three-headed dog of Doogenkirk with me?

Muffy: Sorry, I have tap class. Besides, isn’t hat something you do with Rubella?

Prunella: She's too busy studying for some silly test.     Brain hands Muffy two ice-cream cones.

Brain: You mean the college exam? That is a big test. It's what colleges look at when they decide whether or not to take you.

Prunella: There’s a single exam that gets you into college?

Muffy: If there is, Daddy must have gotten an A+. He went to Ivy University, and that's the best college there is.

Brain: The college exam isn't graded with a letter, Muffy. They’re graded with numbers.

Muffy: Oh. Then I guess he got a million.

Prunella: But what if you don't do well on exams?

Brain: Colleges also look at your grades. So, if you're a good student, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Prunella: What if you're an okay student?

Muffy: Don't worry. There are a zillion colleges out there. I'm sure there’s at least one that will take you.    She walks out. Brain serves Prunella her sundae.

Brain: Do you want gummy newts in that?

Prunella: Actually...I've lost my appetite.    She walks out. Brain drops the newt on the sundae.

#

Prunella lies in bed at night. She hears Muffy’s voice.

Muffy: 'There are a zillion colleges out there. I'm sure there’s at least one that will take you.    ...will take you...'

In her dream attends a college graduation ceremony with her mother and Mr. Haney. She gets up

Dean Pickles: Prunella Deegan, for successfully completing four years of pie-throwing and batball, I, Dean Pickles, of the Whoop-Dee-Doo College for clowns, present you this non-refundable diploma. Congratulations.      He gives Prunella a diploma and shakes her hand with a hand buzzer.

Prunella: Argh!

Audience: (laugh)    Prunella wakes up.

Prunella: Augh!!

#

In the library Prunella brings a large pile of books to the checkout counter. Muffy arrives with Bailey.

Muffy: You’re not checking out all the Henry Skreever books, are you? I've reserved “The Chalice Of Malice”.

Prunella: These are text books. Quantum physics, surrealist poetry, the Crimean War...

Muffy: Since when are you interested in that stuff?

Prunella: Since I decided I don't want to go to Clown College.

Muffy: Are you still worried about that? Look, there are other ways to get in besides good grades and tests. They also want people who are well-rounded.

Prunella: But I'm thin as a rail!

Muffy: No, silly. Well-rounded means having lots of fascinating interests and activities.

Prunella: Does being a Henry Skreever fan count?

Muffy: Uh...no. They have to be things that make you seem exciting, like playing the ukulele or delivering turkeys to orphans.

Prunella: What do you do?

Muffy: I folk dance, play the okarina, and I come here every week and read to little kids.    A group of preschoolers is waiting.

Prunella: How do you have time to do all that?

Muffy: When you really care about stuff, Prunella, you just find the time.    Muffy takes an “I Ching, You Ching” magazine and sits down on a couch. Bailey starts reading to the preschoolers.

Bailey: “Chapter One. A funny face peered at me through the gate. It was none other than my pet goat."       Miss Turner has checked out all the books and put them in abox.

Prunella: I don’t think I’m gonna need these, Miss Turner.

#  

Prunella lies on her bed and reads the Cultural Center’s catalogue. Marina sits beside her and does string figures.

Prunella: Oh, this one sounds great. "Kendo, the ancient art of Japanese sword fighting”.

Marina: You're only nine! You don’t have to worry about college yet.

Prunella: Easy for you to say, you get straight A's. Oh! How about "Artisanal cheese making?" Do you think colleges would like that?

Marina: But you don't even like cheese.

Prunella: Yeah, but this is cheese making, not cheese eating. What about, "Assembling your own V8 engine"? I bet there are no other nine-year-olds taking that.

Marina: I think they should at least be things you actually want to do.

Prunella: Well, unfortunately, the Cultural Center isn't offering any classes in Fortune Telling. "How to speak useful Czech." That sounds... useful. Now all I have to do is get my mum to sign me up. This is going to be great.

#

Prunella is sitting cross-legged with other students in a room in the Elwood City Cultural Center. She is the only child.

Sensei: Now breathe into your core. Feel the air. Hold it... and release.  Once again... breathe in.  Prunella looks around and addresses the man next to her.

Prunella: Excuse me. I thought this was Japanese sword fighting? Where are the swords?

Man: We don't get swords till week five. Until then, it's just breathing.    Prunella walks out the door.

Sensei: ...Expelling...

#

In the Cultural Center corridor Prunella meets Bailey who is dressed as a cook.

Prunella: Hi, Bailey. What are you doing here?

Bailey: Miss Muffy and I are enrolled in a puff pastry seminar.    He puts on his chef’s hat.

Prunella: Do you know where room three-twelve is? I'm late for my “Useful Czech Language” class.

Bailey: Straight down the hall, on the left.   They part ways.

#

Prunella opens a door to a room in which a teacher is writing a Czech sentence on the blackboard using phonetic spelling. There is only one student.

Czech Teacher: „Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém trhu.“  "Our product is selling very well in the U.S. market."

Czech Student: „Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém...“ Prunella closes the door from the outside.

#

Prunella sits on a bench in the park. Marina juggles a soccer ball with a bell inside, so she can hear it.

Prunella: And the cheese making course made me nauseous so I had to quit that, too. But I’m not giving up. I signed up for three more classes. Do you think colleges want students who know how to yodel?

Marina: Beats me. What about volunteer work? If you're gonna run around doing things you don't like you might as well be helping someone.

Prunella: That’s a great idea!

Marina: My dad helps out at the Elwood City Wildlife Center. I could ask if he knows of anything.

Prunella: Perfect! I love animals.

Marina: So can we play some soccer now?    Prunella gets up. Marina passes the ball to her.

Prunella: Can’t. I’m late for scuba. Call me.    She walks away.

#

Prunella stands on the sidewalk by the park dressed as a grebe and holding up an “I love grebes” sign. People ignore her.

Prunella: Save the pie-billed grebe! Donate now and get a "I Honk for Grebes" bumper sticker!   Oh...!     She sits down on a bench and drinks some water. She throws the empty bottle in the trash.

Somebody: Hey, Grebe! That goes in recycling!

Prunella: Oh... Sorry!     As she takes the bottle back out she is attacked by a pigeon.    Argh! Get away! Ugh, get away!  Get away!

#

Prunella leans against her locker at school and sleeps.

Prunella: (snores)    Mr. Ratburn comes.

Mr. Ratburn: Prunella?      Prunella does flamenco moves.

Prunella: Olé! Arriba! Chico!      Oh, sorry...I thought I was in flamenco class for a second.

Mr. Ratburn: I was wondering if you'd be willing to help paint the set of the school play? You did such a wonderful job last year.

Prunella: Sure! That was so much fun!

Mr. Ratburn: We're doing Chekhov's “The Cherry Orchard” and I’m thinking of creating an entire forest as a backdrop.

Prunella: Oh, with tons of cherry blossoms and... Oh, wait... Would it take a lot of time?

Mr. Ratburn: Just an hour after school, and maybe a few hours on the weekend.

Prunella: I don't think I can do it, Mr Ratburn. I just don't have time.

Mr. Ratburn: You don't have to make a decision right away. Why don't you think about it?    He walks away.

Prunella: (sighs)    She opens her locker and lots of sport equipment falls out.    Argh!   Grrr!