Feeling Flush/Transcript

Feeling Flush

Introduction

A desert with circling vultures. Arthur and his friends are walking below.

Arthur: „Student log, May Fifteenth: Still no sign of civilization. We're lost in the Sahara after a trip to the Ellwood Petting Zoo went wrong. Horribly wrong! The only food we have left is...“ Buster takes a bag out of his backpack.

Buster: „Chili pepper popcorn. Now extra spicy!" Binky throws sand at a vulture.

Binky: Shoo! The sand blows in his eyes. Aah.

Arthur: „At least we still have a full bottle of water.“ Francine pours water over her wrist. Francine! What are you doing?!

Francine: I can't tell if this is dirt on my wrist or a freckle. So I'm seeing if it washes off.

Arthur: But we need that water for drinking! „Log Correction. Less than a full bottle...“ Muffy, are you crazy?! Muffy is squirting water at a vulture.

Muffy: Shoo! That bird looks at me funny! I'm trying to scare it off. Shoo!

Arthur: But you're wasting our water! „Water supply's dwindling fast.“ Binky fills a water balloon. A water balloon?!

Binky: Shh! Don't tell anyone. You'll spoil it. Buster looks like he's asleep standing up. Hey, Buster! Binky throws the balloon. At that moment, Buster slumps forward.

Buster: Huh? The balloon misses Buster and almost hits a vulture, which flies off. Arthur holds the bottle.

Arthur: Guys, we'll never survive if we waste all our water! Our lovely, cool, quenching, refreshing... He drinks the bottle empty. Ahh. Oops! The others give him angry looks.

Kids: Grr!

Title Card: Francine Hits Gong

Francine is singing in the shower.

Francine: (sings:)  “Take the midnight train and maybe!”   Catherine is standing outside in a bathrobe and rattling the door handle.    “Maybe I'll be waiting at the station for you!”   Wow. I've never sounded better. I can't believe I've been taking baths all these years.  “You and me now!”

Nemo is sitting on the toilet seat.

Nemo: Meoww!!

#

Catherine sits on the floor outside the bathroom reading a newspaper. Francine finally comes out wrapped in a towel and carrying a wet Nemo.

Catherine: You were in the shower for half an hour.

Francine: Sorry, Catherine. Is there a law against washing?

Catherine: Look at this.      She holds up the newspaper.

Francine: "Boy Finds Chip Shaped Like Donkey"?

Catherine: Not that, this.

Francine: "Drought Hits Elwood City." So?

Catherine: "Reservoir levels at a forty year low."     Francine puts Nemo down.

Francine: So there's a drought. It's not like one girl taking a shower makes a difference.

Catherine: Mom!      She walks off. Francine runs after her.

#

Arthur is brushing his teeth with the water running. D.W. comes in.

Arthur: (hums to himself)

D.W.: Arthur Read! What do you think you're doing?!

Arthur: Hey! D.W. turns off the tab.

D.W.: It's called “water conversation”! Arthur spits.

Arthur: You mean “conservation”! And what it's really called is “annoying your brother”! He turns the water back on and D.W. turns it off again.

D.W.: Miss Morgan says if you use up all the water, there'll be none left for my generation!

Arthur: We're the same generation and I'm not using up all the water!

They turn the water on and off again, then D.W. walks out.

D.W.: Mom!

#

Francine checks the water meters in her appartment building.

Francine: B-9...B-10....

Mr. Sanders: What're you up to, Frensky?

Francine: Nothing, Mr. Sanders!

Mr. Sanders: You're always up to something. Filling my suggestion box with suggestions. We didn't have a suggestion box till you suggested it.

Francine: My mom said the water meter for our appartment is down here.

Mr. Sanders: Yup. They were useful when everyone paid for their own water. Now it's easier if I just raise everyone’s rent some and pay the water myself.

Francine: So, er... I can use as much water as I want and it doesn't cost my parents any extra?

Mr. Sanders: Just how much water are you using?

Francine: Uh...hardly any at all. I'll be checking the water meter all week to prove it.

Mr. Sanders: You know what, Frensky? I think I'll be checking it too. He leaves.

#

Francine and Catherine simultaneously reach for the bathroom door handle. Francine is carrying a bottle.

Francine: I'll just be a second. I read putting a plastic bottle in the toilet tank saves three liters with every flush.

Catherine: You're going to put your hand in the toilet. Gross!    Francine goes in.

Francine: It means I won't have to shorten my showers any.    Francine shoos Nemo of the toilet tank and opens the lid.

Catherine: The point isn't to save a little in one place so you can waste a lot somewhere else.    She puts her hand on the lid.

Francine:  Let go of the lid!

Catherine+Francine: (grunt)    Nemo watches them struggle. He runs off as the girls drop the lid.

Catherine: No!!     The lid shatters on the floor.

Francine: Uh-oh.

#

Francine and her friends are standing in front of the Frenskys' bathroom.

Francine: What should we do?

Muffy: We can't just burst in. It's not polite, even if it is an alien. The toilet flush is heard from inside.

Francine: That's another twenty liters of water. All right, alien, I've had it with you! She opens the door.

Kids: Ahh! Francine's cat Nemo is standing on the toilet and playing with the flush.

Francine: Nemo?? So you're the one?

Arthur: That's why I have a dog.