The Last Day/Transcript

Treehouse

(Arthur, Francine, and Muffy are lying underneath the Treehouse while Buster is doing squats)

Buster: One, two, three, four, five, six

Francine: Buster, what are you doing?

Buster: Trying to stretch my jeans. I haven’t worn this pair since September and now they’re tight. Wait, there’s something in this pocket. Maybe that’s why they’re tight. Hey, I remember this cheese sandwich.

Francine, Arthur, Muffy: Eew, augh! Gross! Throw it away!

Buster: No way! This cheese sandwich is a relic! It’s from the very first day of third grade.

Buster: I didn’t have much of an appetite at lunch because I was so worried about our new teacher.

Arthur and Buster: Ratburn…Ratburn…

(bell rings)

Both: Ah!

Arthur: I g-guess we have to go back to class now.

(Buster tucks cheese sandwich into pocket, ominous music)

Buster: Isn’t it weird how afraid of Mr. Ratburn we were?

Muffy: I was much more afraid that Francine and I wouldn’t be in the same class.

Muffy: Gasp! Francine’s not on this list! It must be a mistake! Mr. Haney, Francine and I HAVE to be in the same class. Isn’t there something you can do?

(pulls out watch)

Muffy: Ooh, what a handsome gold watch. I bet it’d look great on you! How about a new car? You look like a convertible man.

Francine: Muffy! We ARE in the same class. My name’s right here.

Muffy: Oh. Ha. Never mind.

(takes back watch)

Francine: Wow. I remember all that like it was yesterday.

Buster: And here it is nine months later.

Muffy: Only five more days until…

Arthur: …the last day of school!

Buster (sniffs sandwich): Do you think this is still good?

Everyone else: NO!

The Last Day

Written by Peter K. Hirsch

Storyboard by Jeremy O'Neill & Rich Marshall

Outside Preschool

Jane: So how was your last day, DW?

DW: Fun but exhausting. We sang songs, danced, ate cake. There was barely time for a nap. I’m looking forward to kindergarten. I bet it’ll be much easier than preschool.

Jane: Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure. Preschool was only a half-day. Kindergarten is a full six hours.

DW: Six hours?! That’s like going to real school!

Jane: It is real school. You’ll be learning a lot more too.

DW: Will I have homework? And tests? Arthur always gets that look on his face when he has a test coming up. (makes face)

Jane: Don’t worry. You’ll do just fine. Oh, you’re such a big girl now.

DW has nervous look on her face

Sandbox

Bud: My daddy said the same thing. ‘You’re a big boy now.’ He said, ‘Soon, you’ll be asking to borrow the car.’ So I asked to borrow the car and he said no.

DW: Kindergarten sounds like a big deal. Do you think you’re ready?

Bud: I’m not sure. I still have trouble with my alphabet. It’s that M-N-L-O-P part.

DW: I think that’s L-M-N-O-P.

Bud: Ugh! It gets me every time? What happens if I don’t know it on the first day?

DW: I don’t know. Maybe we should practice being big kids.

Bud: How do we do that?

DW: I have an older brother, and you have an older sister. We’ll just watch them and do what they do.

She puts sunglasses on a doll.

Ice Cream Shop

Arthur: I just spoke to Prunella. For fourth grade we'll either have Mrs. Frumpus or Miss Grimslid.

Buster: Awww! Not Miss Grimslid, She nevers laughs. I tried everything on her. All I've gotten was a cough.

flashback to Buster

Arthur: Well, maybe we can get Mrs. Frumpus.

Brain: I heard that Mrs. Frumpus is leaving and being replaced by someone new.

Arthur: Do you know anything about them?

Brain: No, just that his name is Mr. Cramp.

Buster: Mr. Cramp? Aw, great. I’ll either get the teacher that can’t laugh or the one that gives you a pain on your side.

MC: Actually, the name has nothing to do with cramps. It’s from the Anglo-Saxon “crampe,” which was a nickname for someone stooped over. But I never liked the way “Mike Cramp” sounded. That’s why I go by MC.

Arthur: You’re a teacher?!

MC: I think of myself as more of a mind-guide. All the magic takes place in here (points to Arthur’s head) I just remove the obstacles. (To Brain) Goji berry soy-yo in a gluten-free cone, my good man.

Brain: Coming right up.

MC: I believe that learning is living and living is learning. My teaching isn’t just hands-on. It’s hands-up, hands-down, and hands-together. (Grabs cone from Brain) My students will sweat, shout, and stretch their brains to the breaking point, but they will never be bored. That’s the MC Promise. (To Brain) Thanks for the non-dairy refreshment Scoops Samurai. (To Arthur and Buster) Long ears, strong heart! (Exits shop)

Buster: Long ears, strong heart. That’s Bionic Bunny’s motto!

(Both get up to look at MC riding away on a scooter)

Buster: He knows Bionic Bunny. We have to get him for 4th grade, no matter what! (Arthur nods in agreement)

Playground

Binky and George are playing marbles when a burlap sack drops onto Binky’s head.

Binky: Hey! What’s this?

Francine and Muffy are on the play structure right above him.

Francine: A sack. I thought you might want to practice for camp since us girls crushed you in sack racing last year.

Binky: Well, you’d better…buy a canoe…cause…cause…

Muffy: Oh, don’t worry Binky. Francine and I aren’t going to Camp Meadowcroak this year.

Francine (surprised): What! Yes we are.

Muffy: No we’re not.

Binky: Woohoo! Boys rule! Can I still keep this sack.

Francine and Muffy walk away and have an aside.

Francine: But…we made a pact at the end of last summer that we’d go to camp together.

Muffy: And we will. Not just Camp Meadowcroak. Here’s where we’re going (Holds up brochure ‘Welcome to Camp Elysium’)

Francine: Camp Elysium? ‘A full-service interactive resort for discriminating children.’ Muffy: It’s the most amazing place. There are French classes, an indoor swimming pool, a four-star chef, but best of all, there are no mosquitoes!

Francine: How is that even possible?!

Muffy: The whole estate is surrounded by an invisible plastic dome!

Francine: It sounds so…fancy.

Muffy: It is. (Opens up brochure) They also have a whole stable of thoroughbred horses. Francine: No way!

Muffy: Check out their website. You’re going to love it! I just know it.

Francine’s house

Francine is on her computer, visiting the Camp Elysium website. She clicks on it.

Narrator: At Camp Elysium, the discriminating child will enjoy a well-balanced diet…

A plate of lobster is served to the children.

Francine: Ugh.

Narrator: Thrilling sports…

Same children are playing croquet.

Narrator: The arts…

Child sings German opera.

Narrator: And access to our stable of thoroughbred horses…

Francine excitedly turns to screen.

Narrator: Because every discriminating child should know the rudiments of horse ballet.

Francine (sarcastic): Yippee.

Narrator: We hope you’ll consider Camp Elysium, a character-building luxury resort completely free of mosquitoes.

Children: And it’s quite fun.

A mosquito hits the plastic dome and drops dead.

Francine turns away from screen in disbelief before hearing a beep

Francine (reading Muffy’s email): “Did you visit the site? Isn’t it unbelievable?”

(Types up response) Oh yes, it’s unbelievable all right. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.