Prunella Gets it Twice/Transcript

Introduction

Arthur and Buster in medieval clothing are carrying a heavy wooden box up a long stairway to a castle.

Arthur: Even when it’s hard work, it’s fun to give birthday presents to thy friends, especially when thou knowest they’re going to love it.

The reach the top of the stairway where Prunella as queen sits on a throne. Sue Ellen and Binky are standing guard. Arthur and Buster put down the box.

Buster: Ow! My foot, my foot, my foot, my foot, my foot!

Arthur: Your highness.     He helps Buster get his foot free.

Buster: Ah. Much better.

Arthur: This gift is something precious.         They open the box. It contains a wooden bicycle.

Buster: Very precious. It hasn’t even been invented yet.    Prunella does her nails.

Prunella: How wonderful, we love it. Which of thee is this from?

Arthur: Both of thus.    Behind the boys, Francine arrives with a small parcel.

Prunella: Two peasants, one present? We are displeased.    

She pulls a lever. The stairs become a ramp. Arthur and Buster slide down.

Arthur+Buster: Ahh!

Francine: My Queen, we hopes thou willst like this a lot better than whatever yonder losers gavest.

Prunella shakes the parcel. Francine smiles broadly. Prunella unwraps the parcel while touching the lever.

Sue Ellen+Binky: (snigger)

Binky: The queen don’t likest anything.   Francine nervously looks at the ramp.

Title Card: Fortune Teller

Prunella stands in front of a mirror in her room. Rubella removes a price tag from Prunella’s new dress.

Rubella: Hold still.

Prunella: Thank you, Mom, it's the most beautiful birthday present ever! And it fits too!    Rubella hands her a present.

Rubella: Here’s one from me. Happy birthday, Prunella.    Prunella unwraps a doll.

Prunella: A Polly Locket doll! I really wanted one. Thanks.

Rubella: Come on. We have to get ready for the party.        She goes down the stairs.

Prunella: The best thing about presents is the surprise. I'm gonna get so many surprises today.

#

The kids are sitting at a party table in the Deegans’ yard.

Prunella: I can't wait anymore! I’m opening presents!   She opens one.    Oh. Another Polly Locket. I already got one…(thinks:) Two presents? Two Polly Lockets? Oh no. What if everybody gives me the same thing?   She throws the doll aside.  I have to open another one fast!   (aloud:)  The electric astrology T-shirt maker set! What a surprise!    (thinks:)    Oh, Okay. This is gonna be a great party.    Francine looks downhearted.

#

In the evening Rubella sits down on Prunella's bed.

Rubella: Have a good birthday?

Prunella: It would have been totally perfect if it wasn't for that Francine.

Flashback: The kids are dancing. Francine stands around looking sad.

Prunella: She refused to dance.

Flashback: The kids are having an egg-and-spoon race.

Prunella: My team would have won the egg game but she wrecked it.   When Prunella passes the egg to Francine she drops her spoon.

Flashback: The kids sit in a circle.

Prunella: And she didn't sing “Happy Birthday” to me.

Kids: (singing to the tune of “Oh My Darling Clementine”:)  “On your birthday / you're so special, holy cow! / Now you're older, here's a present / Where's the ice cream? Feed us now!”    Francine does not sing. The flashbacks end.

Rubella: Why would she do that?

Prunella: She can't stand it when she's not the center of attention. (yawns)  Other than Francine, everything was great.     Rubella out the light and leaves.

#

Prunella is woken by two ghosts.

Presents Ghost: (spooky sound)

Prunella: Who are you?

Presents Ghost: I am the Ghost of Presents Past.

Prunella: Present past? You mean present, past and future?

Presents Ghost: No, presents past. Presents – past.

Prunella: Er… I’m just not getting it. I’m going back to sleep now.

Presents Ghost: Presents! Gifts! I’m the ghost of birthday presents yesterday!

Prunella: Oh! Now I get it! And who’s that?

Presents Ghost: This is the Ghost of Lunch Tomorrow.

Lunch Ghost: (spooky voice:)  Cold pizza.

Prunella: What do you want?

Presents Ghost: Well, duh, to show you some stuff about your birthday presents that you don't know. It's not like this is a new concept. Come on, get up, up!

Prunella: I don’t believe in ghosts.

Presents Ghost: Well, tough!       She spirits Prunella away.

Prunella: Hm?   Whoa!

#

Prunella and the ghost appear in Francine’s class.

Mr. Ratburn: I’ve graded your history tests.    Francine looks very nervous.

Prunella: This isn’t my class. There’s Francine. Hey, I bet you were supposed to haunt Francine for ruining my party.

Presents Ghost: I’m a ghost. I don’t make mistakes. Watch!    Francine gets her test with an A+.

Mr. Ratburn: Francine Frensky. Good job!

Francine: Yes! Oh mama, I did it! Woohoo!

Mr. Ratburn: E-hm.

Francine: I’m just happy.

Mr. Ratburn: You have good reason to be. Just turn down your volume a bit.

Prunella: Is that the test I helped her study for?

Presents Ghost: Just keep watching, okay?

#

The Ghost spirits Prunella to the front of a toy store where Prunella is looking at Polly Locket dolls.

Prunella: (sighs)     Francine and Artur arrive.

Francine: Prunella, I got an A on the history test. And it’s all thanks to your helping me study. I’ll repay you somehow.

Prunella: No problem. I’m naturally good with history. My sister Rubella says, it’s because I was a queen in a former life.

Francine: What are you looking at?

Prunella: Polly Locket. Isn’t she cool?   They look at a video in the shop window.

Jingle (on screen): "Polly Locket has style and grace. She keeps your belongings in her face! Polly Locket!"

The video shows a girl putting a used chewing gum in Polly Locket’s head.

Prunella: What could be more perfect? You can dress her up and stick your stuff in her face. I'd buy one right now, but they're so expensive. Oh!   She walks away. Francine looks at the Polly Locket dolls.

Francine: Prunella's birthday is next week.

Arthur: Didn’t she just have a birthday six months ago?

Francine: That was her half-birthday. For her whole birthday I'll get her something she really really wants.

Inside the shop Francine picks up a Polly Locket box. Prunella and the ghost are still watching.

Arthur: Francine, did you look at the price?

Francine: Whoa. That's way too much. Forget it. I'll get her a pack of gum.

Prunella: What a cheapskate!     Francine and Arthur want to leave when Francine turns around.

Francine: Wait… Prunella deserves this. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get it. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I give her this doll.     The ghost gives Prunella a meaningful look and snaps her fingers.

#

The ghost and Prunella appear in Muffy’s room where Francine is talking to Muffy.

Francine: I just need enough to buy a Polly Locket. You’ve got it. You can give me a loan, right?

Muffy: Um...I guess. Okay.   She takes a large teddy bear and opens a flap on its belly revealing a numeric keypad. She types in numbers, a flap opens revealing money. Muffy takes out a few bills.    You'll pay interest, right?

Francine: What? Uh, yeah, sure. How much?

Muffy: 28.9%, compounded daily

Francine: Er...yeah, okay, fine. I don't even know what that means, but why not?  She reaches for the money. Muffy pull sit away.    Muffy!

Muffy: I’m… I’m Sorry, Francine. I can't do it. That’s just the way I am.    Francine leaves.

Francine: There are other ways to get money.

#

The ghost and Prunella appear in the Frenskys’ apartment.

Presents Ghost: So she began to do extra chores, including caring for her brother Tiny Tim.   Francine carries a huge boy holding a crutch.

Prunella: Francine has a brother named Tiny Tim?

Presents Ghost: Well...

Prunella: Could we please stick to the facts?

Presents Ghost: Okay. Picky, picky.

#

Prunella gets hit by a ball.

Prunella: Ow! Hey, I thought we were ghosts.

Ghost of P.P.: The rules are complicated.

#

Prunella: They can't hear me but I can get hit in the head with a soccer ball? What kind of rules are those?

Ghost of P.P.: I don't make the news, I just report it.

#

Prunella: Oh no, she worked so hard. You rotten, rude, ungrateful... What am I saying? It's me!

Ghost of P.P.: does her nails  Bingo.