Prunella Gets it Twice/Transcript

Introduction

Arthur and Buster in medieval clothing are carrying a heavy wooden box up a long stairway to a castle.

Arthur: Even when it’s hard work, it’s fun to give birthday presents to thy friends, especially when thou knowest they’re going to love it.

The reach the top of the stairway where Prunella as queen sits on a throne. Sue Ellen and Binky are standing guard. Arthur and Buster put down the box.

Buster: Ow! My foot, my foot, my foot, my foot, my foot!

Arthur: Your highness.     He helps Buster get his foot free.

Buster: Ah. Much better.

Arthur: This gift is something precious.         They open the box. It contains a wooden bicycle.

Buster: Very precious. It hasn’t even been invented yet.    Prunella does her nails.

Prunella: How wonderful, we love it. Which of thee is this from?

Arthur: Both of thus.    Behind the boys, Francine arrives with a small parcel.

Prunella: Two peasants, one present? We are displeased.    

She pulls a lever. The stairs become a ramp. Arthur and Buster slide down.

Arthur+Buster: Ahh!

Francine: My Queen, we hopes thou willst like this a lot better than whatever yonder losers gavest.

Prunella shakes the parcel. Francine smiles broadly. Prunella unwraps the parcel while touching the lever.

Sue Ellen+Binky: (snigger)

Binky: The queen don’t likest anything.   Francine nervously looks at the ramp.

#

Kids: (singing to the tune of “Oh My Darling Clementine”:)  On your birthday / you're so special, holy cow! / Now you're older, here's a present / Where's the ice cream? Feed us now!

#

Prunella is woken by two ghosts.

Ghost of P.P.: (spooky sound)

Prunella: Who are you?

Ghost of P.P.: I am the Ghost of Presents Past.

Prunella: Present past? You mean present, past and future?

Ghost of P.P.: No, presents past. Presents – past.

Prunella: Er… I’m just not getting it. I’m going back to sleep now.

Ghost of P.P.: Presents! Gifts! I’m the ghost of birthday presents yesterday!

Prunella: Oh! Now I get it! And who’s that?

Ghost of P.P.: This is the Ghost of Lunch Tomorrow.

Lunch Ghost: (spooky voice:)  Cold pizza.

Prunella: What do you want?

Ghost of P.P.: Well, duh, to show you some stuff about your birthday presents that you don't know. It's not like this is a new concept. Come on, get up, up!

Prunella: I don’t believe in ghosts.

Ghost of P.P.: Well, tough!       She spirits Prunella away.

Prunella: Hm?   Whoa!

#

Prunella and the ghost appear in Francine’s class.

Mr. Ratburn: I’ve graded your history tests.    Francine looks very nervous.

Prunella: This isn’t my class. There’s Francine. Hey, I bet you were supposed to haunt Francine for ruining my party.

Ghost of P.P.: I’m a ghost. I don’t make mistakes. Watch!    Francine gets her test with an A+.

Mr. Ratburn: Francine Frensky. Good job!

Francine: Yeah! Oh mama, I did it! Woohoo!

Mr. Ratburn: E-hm.

Francine: I’m just happy.

Mr. Ratburn: You have good reason to be. Just turn down your volume a bit.

Prunella: Is that the test I helped her study for?

Ghost of P.P.: Just keep watching, okay?

The Ghost spirits Prunella to the front of a toy store where Prunella is looking at Polly Locket dolls.

Prunella: (sighs)

Francine: Prunella, I got an A on the history test. And it’s all thanks to your helping me study. I’ll repay you somehow.

Prunella: No problem. I’m naturally good at history. My sister Rubella says, it’s because I was a queen in a  former life.

Francine: What are you looking at?

Prunella: Polly Locket. Isn’t she cool?

#

Ghost of P.P.: So she began to do extra chores, including caring for her brother Tiny Tim.

Prunella: Francine has a brother named Tiny Tim?

Ghost of P.P.: Well...

Prunella: Could we please stick to the facts?

Ghost of P.P.: Okay. Picky, picky.

#

Prunella gets hit by a ball.

Prunella: Ow! Hey, I thought we were ghosts.

Ghost of P.P.: The rules are complicated.

#

Prunella: They can't hear me but I can get hit in the head with a soccer ball? What kind of rules are those?

Ghost of P.P.: I don't make the news, I just report it.

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Prunella: Oh no, she worked so hard. You rotten, rude, ungrateful... What am I saying? It's me!

Ghost of P.P.: does her nails  Bingo.