I'm a Poet/Transcript

Arthur: My Sister Is A Sissy by Jack Prelutsky.

My sister is a sissy
She's afraid of dogs and cats
A toad can give her tantrums,
And she's terrified of rats

She screams at things with stingers,
Things that buzz and things that crawl.
Just the shadow of a spider
Sends my sister up the wall

A lizard makes her shiver,
And a turtle makes her squirm.
She positively cringes
At the prospect of a worm.

She's scared of things with feathers.
She's scared of things with fur.
She's scared of almost everything.
How come I'm scared of her?

Title Card: Arthur with Umbrella

Mr. Ratburn hold up a list in class. Mr. Ratburn: Only two days until the library poetry contest and only one student has signed up: Fern.

Francine: Fern never said she wrote poetry

Binky: Fern never says anything.

Mr. Ratburn:The judge is famous poet Jack Prelutsky. It's not too late to enter.

Francine:Listen, I'm a poet. Moon, June, spoon, a loon...

#

Fern sits in the cafeteria reading a book. Binky and Rattles walk past her.

Binky: Just thinking of poetry, oh, it makes me sleepy.     He fakes falling asleep.

Rattles: Binky, know what’s twice as boring as a poem?

Binky: What?

Rattles: Two poems.

Kids: (laugh)    Fern looks annoyed, then stands up.

Fern: You only make fun because you couldn’t write a poem if you tried.     She leaves.

Kids: Hhh!

Francine: That’s the most she’s said all year.

Buster: You tell ‘em, Fern!  (whistles)      Binky gives him a death glare. He shuts up.

#

After school the kids run after Fern.

Binky: Maybe I couldn’t write a poem, but neither could they.

Francine: I could if I wanted to.

Arthur: Me too. No problem.

Binky: I can write a better poem than you with my brain tied behind my back, Arthur.

Arthur: Ha! Oh yeah? I’d like to see that.        Fern stops so abruptly that the others bang into one another.

Kids: Ow!   Ow!

Fern: I bet none of you could even write a poem.

Francine: I could too.

Arthur: Maybe Binky can’t, but I can.

Binky: There’s nothing Arthur can do that I can’t.

Muffy: You are so rude, Fern.

Kids: (all talk at once, except Fern)

Binky:  Someone hold me back or I’ll write a poem right now.

Fern: QUIET!!     A car alarm goes off.     I bet that none of you can write a poem and finish it in time to submit it to the poetry contest.

Francine: I bet I can!

Arthur: I’ll not only finish one, it will be better than Binky’s.

Buster: Is anyone else hungry?

Fern: Anyone who doesn’t has to join the poetry club for a year. Bet, or are you bunch of chickens?  

She holds out her little finger. The others hook their little fingers in.

Arthur: to Buster: How do you write a poem?

Buster: I thought you knew.

#

Arthur and Buster look through books in the library.

Arthur: I don’t want to go to poetry club for a whole year.

Buster: It’ll be a cinch. We just find a good poem and write one like it.  (reads:) “The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things / of shoes and ships and sealing-wax, of cabbages and kings / and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.” No, I don’t think I can write like that.

Arthur: Let’s find one that makes sense.

Buster: What does this mean? “Something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse”.

Arthur: Maybe it’s a riddle. What’s better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse?

Buster: A gerbil that can do your homework.

Arthur: Nothing’s better than my dog. Skip this guy, he doesn’t like dogs.

#

Arthur and Buster check poetry books in the treehouse.

Buster: Whoa, listen to these titles: “The Haunted Palace”, “The Conqueror Worm”…

Arthur: That must be about a giant worm.

Buster: Listen to this: “It was the dead who groaned within.

Arthur+Buster: Cool!

#

D.W.: I know a great poem: “Roses are red / violets are blue / my nose smells / and your feet do too”.

#

Arthur and Buster walk to school with Fern.

Fern: Instead of copying other people’s poems, why not just write about what you like?

Buster: Who’d want to hear what I like?

Fern: Who wouldn’t?

#

uldn't

today is very boring it's a very boring

day there is nothing much to look at

there is nothing much to say there's a

peacock on my sneakers there's a penguin

on my head there's a dormouse on my

doorstep I am going back to bed today is

very boring it is boring through and

through there is absolutely nothing that

I think I want to do I see Giants riding

rhinos and an ogre with a sword there's

a dragon blowing smoke ring I am

positively bored today is very boring

I can hardly help but yawn there's a

flying saucer landing in the middle of

my lawn a volcano just erupted less than

half a mile away and I think I felt an

earthquake it's a very boring day thank

you thank you let's have our first

contestant and the ghosts of all the

fallen trees weep for a world that can't

live without them thank you mr. polesky

I have all of your poetry books you are

obviously little girl with impeccable

taste our next poet is francine frensky

my dad took me to a hockey game I got

hit in the head by a puck I get up ow my

head

ow call an ambulance out ow oh brother

this hurts put ice on it is's gonna

swell I got a big old purple lump on my

head and used it for show-and-tell

uh sir people think I can't write a poem

but they are so wrong I can write a poem

I wrote this one I wrote this poem and I

gave it the title

binky's poem so shut up the end that's

not a poem here I'm poem was poem four

times it was great yeah binky our final

poet is Buster Baxter these are the

things that make me nauseous gloppy

green goop that drips from faucets blue

hair that grows on slices of bread when

your big old dog tears in your bag when

a dirty sock drops on your face to you

when your friend's baby sister starts to

speak half a worm in the Apple you bit

finding human bone in your jello

throwing no slime lean and yellow and

people who eat creamed corn with their

mouths open so you can see it in i

probably shouldn't mention the free

butterscotch pudding being served at the

reception Oh Julie I couldn't help it

the street was full of elephants our

final final poem is Jimmy goes to the

city by Arthur read Jimmy was a happy

ape until some hunters caught him he

liked the jungle better than the city

where they brought him the city was

louder this

city was meaner even the dirt and the

jungle was cleaner so Jimmy made a

daring escape the hunters were suddenly

minus-18 he climbed the tallest building

because from there he'd seen how far

away the jungle was from the middle of

the city Jimmy jumped into a passing

plane but the pilot didn't wait for him

to explain jimmy flew back to the jungle

and all the same friends in their lair

the city is okay for a visit but you

couldn't make me live there and the

winner of the contest is I hate

contrasts you all win and nobody has to

join the Poetry Club because they won

the bet but this was young I know lots

of other disgusting if I want to join

hey here's a sign-up list mister / let's

Fern: Mr. Prelutsky, could you read us another poem?

Jack Prelutsky: All right. Well, Buster's poem put me in mind of one of my own, called Jellyfish Stew. "Jellyfish stew, I'm loony for you. I dearly adore you, oh, truly I do."