Editing I'm a Poet/Transcript

== Intro ==
'''Arthur:''' "My Sister Is A Sissy" by Jack Prelutsky.

My sister is a sissy<br />
She's afraid of dogs and cats<br />
A toad can give her tantrums,<br />
And she's terrified of rats

She screams at things with stingers,<br />
Things that buzz and things that crawl.<br />
Just the shadow of a spider<br />
Sends my sister up the wall

A lizard makes her shiver,<br />
And a turtle makes her squirm.<br />
She positively cringes<br />
At the prospect of a worm.

She's afraid of things with feathers.<br />
She's afraid of things with fur.<br />
She's scared of almost everything.<br />
How come ''I'm'' scared of '''her'''?

=== Title Card: Arthur with Umbrella ===
''Mr. Ratburn holds up a list in class.''

'''Mr. Ratburn:''' Only two days until the library poetry contest and only one student has signed up: Fern.

'''Francine:''' Fern never said she wrote poetry.

'''Binky:''' Fern never says ''anything''.

'''Mr. Ratburn:''' The judge is famous poet Jack Prelutsky. It's not too late to enter.

'''Francine:''' Listen, I'm a poet. Moon, June, spoon, a loon...

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Fern sits in the cafeteria reading a book. Binky and Rattles walk past her.''

'''Binky:''' Just thinking of poetry, oh, it makes me sleepy.

''He fakes falling asleep.''

'''Rattles:''' Binky, know what’s twice as boring as a poem?

'''Binky:''' What?

'''Rattles:''' Two poems.

'''Kids:''' (laugh)

''Fern looks annoyed, then stands up.''

'''Fern:''' You only make fun because you couldn’t write a poem if you tried.

''She leaves.''

'''Kids:''' (gasp)

'''Francine:''' That’s the most she’s said all year.

'''Buster:''' You tell ‘em, Fern! (whistles)

''Binky gives him a death glare. He shuts up.''

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''After school the kids run after Fern.''

'''Binky:''' Maybe I couldn’t write a poem, but neither could they.

'''Francine:''' I could if I wanted to.

'''Arthur:''' Me too. No problem.

'''Binky:''' I can write a better poem than you with my brain tied behind my back, Arthur.

'''Arthur:''' Ha! Oh yeah? I’d like to see that.

''Fern stops so abruptly that the others bang into one another.''

'''Kids:''' Ow! Ow!

'''Fern:''' I bet none of you could even write a poem.

'''Francine:''' I could too.

'''Arthur:''' Maybe Binky can’t, but I can.

'''Binky:''' There’s nothing Arthur can do that I can’t.

'''Muffy:''' You are so rude, Fern.

'''Kids:''' (all talk at once, except Fern)

'''Binky:''' Someone hold me back or I’ll write a poem right now.

'''Fern:''' Quiet! ''Car alarm goes off.'' I bet that none of you can write a poem and finish it in time to submit it to the poetry contest.

'''Francine:''' I bet I can!

'''Arthur:''' I’ll not only finish one, it will be better than Binky’s.

'''Buster:''' Is anyone else hungry?

'''Fern:''' Anyone who doesn’t has to join the poetry club for a year. Bet, or are you bunch of chickens? 

''She holds out her little finger. The others hook their little fingers in.''

'''Arthur:''' ''(to Buster):'' How do you write a poem?

'''Buster:''' I thought you knew.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Arthur and Buster look through books in the library.''

'''Arthur:''' I don’t want to go to poetry club for a whole year.

'''Buster:''' It’ll be a cinch. We just find a good poem and write one like it. (reads:) “The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things / of shoes and ships and sealing-wax, of cabbages and kings / and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.” No, I don’t think I can write like that.

'''Arthur:''' Let’s find one that makes sense.

'''Buster:''' What does this mean? “Something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse”.

'''Arthur:''' Maybe it’s a riddle. What’s better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse?

'''Buster:''' A gerbil that can do your homework.

'''Arthur:''' Nothing’s better than my dog. Skip this guy, he doesn’t like dogs.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Arthur and Buster check poetry books in the treehouse.''

'''Buster:''' Whoa, listen to these titles: “The Haunted Palace”, “The Conqueror Worm”…

'''Arthur:''' That must be about a giant worm.

'''Buster:''' Listen to this: "It was the dead who groaned within."

'''Arthur+Buster:''' Cool!

'''Arthur:''' I got one that makes sense. (reads:) "Listen, my children and you shall hear / of the midnight ride of Paul Revere..."

'''Buster:''' All right. We're ready.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Binky, Fern, Brain, Buster, Arthur and Muffy sit at a table in the cafeteria.''

'''Buster:''' How long did you work on your poem last night?

'''Arthur:''' I... sort of watched TV.

'''Fern:''' Brain has finished his poem.

''Arthur spits out milk.''

'''Arthur:''' Already?

'''Brain:''' Can I read it to you? Any comments will help me perfect it for the contest. “I, The Brain will explain what makes rain. / Water droplets are what clouds contain. / They reach saturation / become precipitation / hit the ground and go right down the drain.“

'''Binky:''' (yawns)

''Fern claps.''

'''Muffy:''' I'm done too. "My favorite thing to do is shop / for shoes, shirts, coats, rings..." You can never have enough jewellery. “...and games until I drop. / I love to shop.”

'''Buster:''' That's not a poem, it's a list.

'''Muffy:''' “Shop” rhymes with “drop”. Duh.

'''Fern:''' Everyone else, remember to have your poems done by tomorrow.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Arthur writes something in his room, then reads it out loud.''

'''Arthur:''' "Listen, my children as I tell you / of a duck and a chicken on a bus to Oklaho-moo..." Yeuch!

''He crosses out the whole page.''

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Arthur is on the phone.''

'''Arthur:''' Buster. When you're done with your poem, can you help me?

'''Buster:''' I'm done. But I'm watching a video. Sorry!

'''D.W.:''' I know a great poem: “Roses are red / violets are blue / my nose smells / and your feet do too”. (laughs) That's so funny! Doesn't that crack you up, Arthur? ''Arthur walks up the stairs looking depressed.'' Arthur?

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''The next morning Arthur drinks his milk, picks up his books and goes to the door.''

'''Mr. Read:''' Why the big rush to get to school?

'''Arthur:''' I have to stop at Fern's house.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Arthur walks up to Fern's house. He is about to ring when he hears voices from inside.''

'''Fern:''' Can I hear that again?

'''Buster:''' “Once upon a midnight cloudy / a big old bat said 'Howdy! Howdy!'" ''Arthur looks inside. Buster and Fern are sitting on the couch.'' (gasps)

'''Arthur:''' You said you were done!

''Buster comes to the window.''

'''Buster:''' I-I didn't want you to think I couldn't do it.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Arthur and Buster walk to school with Fern.''

'''Fern:''' Instead of copying other people’s poems, why not just write about what you like?

'''Buster:''' Who’d want to hear what I like?

'''Fern:''' Who wouldn’t?

''Arthur and Buster smile.''

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Jack Prelutsky is reciting a poem in the library in front of Miss Turner and an audience of kids.''

'''Jack Prelutsky:''' Today is very boring,<br>
it’s a very boring day.<br>
There’s nothing much to look at,<br>
there’s nothing much to say.

There’s a peacock on my sneakers,<br>
there’s a penguin on my head,<br>
there’s a dormouse on my doorstep,<br>
I am going back to bed.

Today is very boring,<br>
it’s boring through and through.<br>
There is absolutely nothing<br>
that I think I want to do.

I see giants riding rhinos, ''Francine has a thought bubble of a giant on a rhino.''<br>
and an ogre with a sword, ''Buster sees a one-eyed giant swinging a sword.''<br>
there’s a dragon blowing smoke rings, ''A dragon who looks like Mr. Ratburn, breathes fire.''<br>
I am positively bored. ''The dragon breathes smoke rings on Muffy.''

'''Muffy:''' (coughs)

'''Jack Prelutsky:''' Today is very boring,<br>
I can hardly (yawns) help but yawn,<br>
there’s a flying saucer landing<br>
in the middle of my lawn,

a volcano just erupted<br>
less than half a mile away, ''Binky sees a volcano erupting right behind the school.''<br>
and I think I felt an earthquake, ''Sue Ellen sees Binky dancing, which shakes the ground.''<br>
it’s a very boring day.

''Everybody claps.''

'''Jack Prelutsky:''' Thank you. Thank you.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

''Fern finishes her poem.''

'''Fern: '''“...and the ghosts of all the fallen trees weep for a world that can't live without them.“ ''Mr. Prelutsky and the kids clap.'' Thank you, Mr. Prelutsky. I have all of your poetry books.

'''Jack Prelutsky:''' You are obviously a little girl with impeccable taste. Our next poet is Francine Frensky.

''While reciting her poem, Francine holds up signs with illustrations. Meanwhile Muffy plays the bongos.''

'''Francine:''' "My dad took me to a hockey game. / I got hit in the head by a puck. / I yelled out 'Ow, my head! Ow! Call an ambulance! Ouch! Ow! Oh brother! This hurts! / Put ice on it. It's gonna swell.' / I got a big old purple lump on my head / and used it for Show And Tell." 

''Everybody claps.''

'''Fern:''' Where's Arthur?

''Arthur is sitting under a tree, writing and looking at his watch.''

<nowiki>***</nowiki>

'''Binky:''' “People think I can't write a poem / but they are so wrong, I can write a poem. / I wrote this one, I wrote this poem, / and I gave it the title 'Binky's Poem'. / So shut up!” The end. 

''Fern claps.''

'''Muffy:''' That’s not a poem. He rhymed “poem” with “poem” four times.

'''Fern:''' It was great. Yeah, Binky!

'''Jack Prelutsky:''' Our final poet is Buster Baxter.

''While Buster reads his poem, Arthur is racing through the city on his bike. He has to wait for a group of preschool children and a circus parade.''

'''Buster:''' “These are the things that make me nauseous: / gloppy green gloop that drips from faucets, / blue hair that grows on slices of bread, / when your big old dog drools in your bed, / when a dirty sock drops on your face, pee yew, / when your friend's baby sister starts to spew, / half a worm in the apple you bit, / finding a human bone in your jello, / flowing nose slime green and yellow, / and people who eat creamed corn with their mouths open so you can see it.” The end.

'''Jack Prelutsky:''' I probably shouldn't mention the free butterscotch pudding being served at the reception.

'''Kids:''' (Bleugh!)

''Arthur bursts in.''

'''Arthur:''' Am I too late? I couldn't help it. The street was full of elephants!

''He whispers to Jack Prelutsky.''

'''Jack Prelutsky: '''Our final ''final'' poem is “Jimmy Goes to the City” by Arthur Read.

'''Arthur:''' "Jimmy was a happy ape until some hunters caught him. / He liked the jungle better than the city where they brought him. / The city was louder, the city was meaner. / Even the dirt in the jungle was cleaner./ So Jimmy made a daring escape. / The hunters were suddenly minus one ape. / He climbed the tallest building because from there he'd see / how far away the jungle was from the middle of the city. / Jimmy jumped into a passing plane / but the pilot didn't wait for him to explain. / Jimmy went back to the jungle and told his ape friends in their lair / 'The city's okay for a visit, but you couldn't make me live there.'"

'''Jack Prelutsky:''' And the winner of the contest is... I hate contests. You all win.

'''Fern:''' And nobody has to join the poetry club because they won the bet.

'''Arthur:''' But this was fun!

'''Buster:''' Yeah! I know lots of other disgusting things.

'''Muffy:''' I want to play my bongos.

'''Binky:''' You can't stop us if we want to join.

''Francine comes with a clipboard.''

'''Francine:''' Hey, here's a sign-up list.

''Fern shakes hands with Mr. Prelutsky.''

'''Fern:''' Mr. Prelutsky, could you read us another poem?

'''Kids: '''(Yeah! Please!)

'''Jack Prelutsky:''' All right. Well, Buster's poem put me in mind of one of my own called “Jellyfish Stew”. “Jellyfish stew / I'm loony for you. / I dearly adore you, / oh truly I do...”
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[[Category:Season 1 transcripts]]
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