Germophobia/Transcript

Introduction

Various insects are crawling on the floor when a slice of pizza nearly falls on them.

Insects: (shriek)

Arthur, Buster, Francine, Muffy and Brain are sitting at a table in the cafeteria.

Buster: Oops!     Buster picks the pizza slice of the floor and takes a bite.   What?    Everybody looks horrified and points at the pizza.   Ah, don't worry. It's fine. Five second rule. I never eat anything after it's been on the floor more than five seconds.    He takes another bite.    Or... is it the ten second rule? I forget.    He picks a bit of cheese of the floor and eats it. Arthur faces the camera.

Arthur: Do any of you have a friend like this? A friend who's just a little... sloppy?

Flashback: In the boys’ room Alex and George are washing their hands. A toilet flushes. Buster comes out of a cubicle and goes straight to the door.

Buster: See you in class!

Flashback: Arthur leans against a tree on the playground and counts. The other kids hide.

Arthur: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! Ready or not, here I come!    He starts searching. Buster peeps out of a trashcan with flies buzzing around him.

Buster: (chuckles)

Flashback: Buster sits on the side of the bathtub reading a comic book and splashing in the water with one hand.

Bitzi Baxter: Buster, are you taking your bath?

Buster: Just finishing, Mom!    He pulls the plug and walks out.

The flashbacks end.

Arthur: What do you do? Do you tell them?

Buster: A-a-a-tchoo!    He sneezes in Muffy and Francine’s direction.

Francine+Muffy: Eew!

Brain: Buster!

Arthur: Buster!   I mean, don't you have to tell them?

Title Card: Magnifying Glass

In a school corridor Arthur is looking at a poster advertising “Buster’s Wacky Poolpalooza”.

Arthur: Hey, Buster's annual pool party is this weekend. Are you going?

Sue Ellen: Shh!     She hands him a folded note and walks away. Arthur reads it.

Arthur: "Meeting after school at the Sugar Bowl. Don't tell Buster."

#

Sue Ellen, Muffy, Francine and Brain are sitting at a table at the sugar bowl. Arthur joins them.

Arthur: Sorry I'm late. What's this all about? Why wasn’t I supposed tell Buster?

Sue Ellen: This is about Buster!

Francine: And since you're late, we'll tell you what we've all decided.

Muffy: You are going to tell Buster that he’s got to clean up his act and stop being so disgusting all the time!

Arthur: What?

Francine: Just tell him to stop eating food off the floor.

Sue Ellen: Wash his hands once in a while.

Muffy: Cover his mouth when he sneezes.

Francine+Muffy+Sue Ellen: Stop hiding in garbage cans!

Arthur: Oh...well... why don't you tell him?

Francine: Because you're his best friend. He'll listen to you.

Arthur: But...

Francine: Just tell him if he keeps it up, he's gonna get sick.

Muffy: Tell him if he doesn't stop it, I won't come to his pool party.

Sue Ellen: Tell him... Duck!      The kids hide under the table. Buster walks by outside.

Francine: Not you, Arthur! Go out there and tell him!

Buster sees a harmonica in a garbage can among other trash.

Buster: Ah, wow! Somebody threw away a harmonica!    He takes it out. Arthur comes out of the Sugar Bowl.

Arthur: Buster! Wait a minute. Hey, Buster. There's something I, er... wanted to tell you.

Muffy: Did Buster just take a harmonica out of the garbage?

Sue Ellen: Shh! I think Arthur's telling him.     Arthur comes back in.

Francine: Did you tell him?

Muffy: What did he say?

Sue Ellen: Is he gonna do it?

Arthur: I think so. He smiled and said, "Uh-huh".

Francine: Phew! I'm glad that's over with.          A harmonica is heard from outside.

Muffy: Is that what I think it is?

Francine: Okay, plan B.