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Francine's Bad Hair Day/Transcript

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[At Lakewood Elementary, in Mr. Ratburn's Class]
Everybody: [chitchat]
Mr. Ratburn: [claps ruler on table] Quiet down! Now as you may have heard - Buster, turn around please. School pictures have just been scheduled
Muffy: What? Now? I can't have my picture taken in these rags!
Mr. Ratburn: Next Thursday afternoon. That should give you plenty of time to change your clothes, Miss Crosswire.
Arthur: [Camera zooms to Arthur] There are a few things you have to remember about school pictures. Like, it's not a good idea to drink six cans of soda and then have your picture taken. [Buster's 2nd grade picture, he burps] Or rub your feet across the carpet and sit in a metal chair. [Prunella's hair sticks up] Or where a flower if you have allergies. [Binky sneezes]
[3rd Graders are in a huddle. They're playing the 4th graders in kickbalL.]
Arthur: One more out and we've got them!
Buster: We'll never do it. They're 4th graders.
4th Graders: [Telling them to hurry up]
Arthur: Remember the plan. No matter what, get the ball to Francine.
3rd Graders: [They run onto the field. Arthur is the pitcher]
Other 3rd Graders: C'mon Arthur! You can do it!
Arthur: [Rolls the ball. Billy hits it, it heads right towards Arthur]
Arthur: Whoaaaahhh! [The ball hits Arthur in the face]
Francine: Watch it!
Francine: [The ball is heading right towards her]
Buster: I got it! I got it! [Buster comes running in. The two collide, causing them to miss the catch]
Kyle: Kick the baby. [he kicks Ike, and Ike mows down four mailboxes. Cartman yawns.]
3rd Graders: Awwwwwwwww...
Francine: [Picks up the ball, runs to home plate and tags Billy out]
Buster: Youuuuuuu're out!
[Girl's Bathroom]
Prunella: My mother said I could get a new dress for picture day.
Muffy: I'm getting new shoes and a dress.
Francine: [walks in, her clothes are beat up] We beat the 4th graders! I tagged them and we won!
Prunella: Well, anyway, we should compare dresses and make sure we're not wearing the same thing.
Muffy: [talking to Francine] What are you wearing?
Francine: To what?
Muffy, Sue Ellen, Prunella: [annoyed] School pictures!
Francine: Pictures? Who cares?
Prunella: Not you obviously.
Muffy: I think Francine will have the prettiest picture of all.
Francine: [surprised] You do?
Muffy: [bragging] Except for mine, of course. [Combs Francine's hair]
Francine: [Imagines that she is a prom queen. In reality, she has a knot in her hair.] Ow!
Muffy: It would take a lot of work, but you could be a whole new Francine. We could even look like twins. Maybe.
Francine [combing hair] Really? Nah.
Muffy: Leave it to me.
[Westboro Apartments]
Francine: [She opens her closet, and sports equipment falls out] I told you I didn't have any dresses.
Muffy: [Spots a pink dress] What's that? Back there? Put it on!
Francine: I'll look stupid!
Muffy: Do you want a nice school picture or not? Trust me.
Francine: [She put the dress on, and looks into a mirror]
Muffy: See? It's perfect. Once you fix the little rip over here. Just have your mom run a needle over that. And now, for your hair.
Francine: [surprised] What's wrong with my hair?
Muffy: [annoyed] [grabs a brush] Close your eyes until I tell you to look.
Francine: But!
Muffy: Do it! [brushes Francine's hair]
Muffy: Okay, you can look now.
Francine: [Muffy gave her a weird hairstyle] Ahhhhh!
Muffy: I don't get it. It always works for me.
Francine: Get me out of this!
Muffy: Wait, I have an idea. [Gets out her cell phone, calls somebody on speed dial] Hello? Flossie? Muffy.
Flossie: [On the phone] Ahhhh Muffy! My favorite little [Spelling unknown]! Oh this is a treat!
Muffy: Can I bring a friend to my appointment? She really needs something special.
Flossie: You got it kid.
Muffy: Well that's great. Thank you. [hangs up] It's all set. Meet me tomorrow afternoon at the Salon de Beaute.
Francine: The what?
[Salon de Beaute]
Francine: You didn't say we were going to a beauty parlor!
Muffy: What'd you think it was? A pet shop?
Francine: No way am I going in there.
Muffy: I knew you'd chicken out. Luckily, I brought my secret weapon. [Pulls out a horrible looking class photo of Francine from 2nd grade] Remember this? Last year's picture? Is this what you wanna look like?
Francine: [bummed out] Okay... okay.... you win.
Muffy and Francine: [Walks into the salon]
Flossie: Muffy, Muffy! Oh [Spelling unknown] brilliant to see you! Everyone, look who's here!
Other Hair Stylists: You're looking fabulous today oh my!
Flossie: [talking to Francine] And what have we here?
Francine: [nervous] Francine?
Flossie: Oh, that's right. Ah, well, we don't promise miracles. Not in your price range anyway. [walks Francine to a chair, takes a picture of her. It comes up on the computer and shows how she would look with different hairstyles] This is our Queen of the Nile look, very popular. No?
Francine: [Covers eyes]
Flossie: Well then, let's try for something more [Spelling unknown] [A beehive hairstyle comes up]
Francine: Don't you have anything more normal?
Flossie: If you insist. Ah, I have just the thing. [A normal hairstyle comes up on the computer]
Francine: [sastisfied] I'll take that, I guess. Only not too much hairspray.
Flossie: You got it, kid. [Talks on microphone] One prom queen to go, extra curls, hold the sauce.
Flossie: [humming while washing Francine's hair. Combs it, cuts it, curls it]] And now [Spelling unknown] you will rest and wake up as the girl of your dreams.
Francine: [falls asleep]
[Francine's Dream]
Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, the moment you've all been waiting for. Let's hear it for FRANCINE FRENSKY! [Francine walks on a runway] Francine is putting a brand new hairdo. The crowd is loving it.
Francine Play ball!
Announcer: She prepares herself for the opening pitch, as she takes her place behind the plate. And there's the pitch! [Arthur pitches the kickball]
4th Grade Male Rabbit: [Francine tangles him in his hair, and catches the ball] Huh?
Umpire: Strike!
Announcer: What a dazzling play by Francine! [End of Francine's Bad Hair Day.]

UNFINISHED