Elwood City Turns 100!/Transcript

Introduction

In 1903, people gather to watch a statue being unveiled. Theodore Roosevelt reads from a parchement while an old man sits in a wheelchair pushed by a nurse.

T. Roosevelt: By the authority vested in me, I, Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States, in the year of our Lord 1903, with the direct approval of the committee on towns and cities...

J. Katzenellenbogan: Get to the good part!

T. Roosevelt:...do hereby declare the area known as Elwood an official city!

Crowd: (cheer)

J. Katzenellenbogan: It was supposed to be Elmwood. That’s what I wrote on the darn application!

T. Roosevelt: And for taking fifty acres of swamp and turning it into a thriving lumber town, your good friends J.P. Morgan and Henry Ford have donated this statue of you, our founder, Jacob Katzenellenbogan!

He unveils the statue.

J. Katzenellenbogan: Now who is that supposed to be? My name has two L’s in it. Why did you make me so fat? Tear it down! Tear it down!

He hits the statue with his walking stick. The nurse and the President try to stop him.

Henry Ford: Well, how do you like that, J.P.? Crazy old Jacob founded a city before we did.

J.P. Morgan: Mark my words, Henry. In one hundred years no one will know a place called Elwood City ever existed.

J. Katzenellenbogan: Skinflints!

Baseball

oh sweet sox

Bomba

que les eso du et los canal dos dos dos dos canal dos dos dos dos dos dos dos!

A wonga dance song

music/sounds: same as the convegre video!

Alliance Atlantis 1991

music/sounds: A short alliance 1991 tune