Elwood City Turns 100!/Transcript

Introduction

In 1903, people gather to watch a statue being unveiled. Theodore Roosevelt reads from a parchement while an old man sits in a wheelchair pushed by a nurse.

T. Roosevelt: By the authority vested in me, I, Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States, in the year of our Lord 1903, with the direct approval of the committee on towns and cities...

J. Katzenellenbogan: Get to the good part!

T. Roosevelt:...do hereby declare the area known as Elwood an official city!

Crowd: (cheer)

J. Katzenellenbogan: It was supposed to be Elmwood. That’s what I wrote on the darn application!

T. Roosevelt: And for taking fifty acres of swamp and turning it into a thriving lumber town, your good friends J.P. Morgan and Henry Ford have donated this statue of you, our founder, Jacob Katzenellenbogan!

He unveils the statue.

J. Katzenellenbogan: Now who is that supposed to be? My name has two L’s in it. Why did you make me so fat? Tear it down! Tear it down!

He hits the statue with his walking stick. The nurse and the President try to stop him.

Henry Ford: Well, how do you like that, J.P.? Crazy old Jacob founded a city before we did.

J.P. Morgan: Mark my words, Henry. In one hundred years no one will know a place called Elwood City ever existed.

J. Katzenellenbogan: Skinflints!

DOLBY

DTS

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ACTRA

DFFF

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FFA

AND MORE PARTICTIONS

Larry King show

Kids: And now a word from Larry King.

A live action Larry King is shown in the Larry King Live studio.

Larry King: We’ve got some very special guests in the studio today: a few of the kids from Lakewood Elementary School in Elwood City. They’re putting on a musical celebrating the city’s one hundredth anniversary. They are Arthur Read, Buster Baxter, Muffy Crosswire, and of course, the Brain. Welcome to you all.

The kids sit in the studio. They are cartoons, everything else is live action.

Muffy: Thanks for having us on the show, Larry.

Larry King: So, tell me about the musical. Who thought it up?

Brain: Well, I wrote it…

Buster: …but, er, we all came up with the ideas together.

Larry King: Is it easy working together? You like it?

Arthur: Oh yeah.

Buster: We love it.

Muffy: Great.

Brain: We listen to each other.

Buster: Except, they wouldn’t let me have my robot.

Larry King: Your robot?

Buster: Ah, it was gonna be so cool. The aliens were going to invade, and then this robot was going to come out in the second act and…

Brain: It wouldn’t make any sense! It was the craziest idea you’ve ever had.

Arthur: Guys? This is live TV, remember?

Muffy: You know, Larry, I don’t know what your agreement with the network is, but I’ve recently started my own production company and we could really use someone of your caliber.

Larry King: I appreciate the thought, Muffy, but…

Muffy: I’ll throw in a used car.

Larry King: I’m afraid we’re out of time. Thanks for being on the show, and good luck with your musical.

Arthur: Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Hi, D.W. Hi… Aah! He sees D.W. waving from the wings. D.W., what are you doing here?

D.W.: You have to get back to the musical. It’s about to start. Oh yeah, and Francine is still missing. She’s the narrator.

Larry King: D.W., what does that stand for?

D.W.: I don’t like to talk about it. Are you really a king? Where’s your castle? Are there unicorns in… mm-mm-mm…

Arthur holds her mouth shut.

Larry King: Thanks for tuning in, folks. And now, back to larry king show.

Jet blasting extended as the funding credits comes out

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funding for this episode was provided by

ford foundation

allison foundation

pew chartible trusts

ford

autozone

corporation for boardcasting

jvc

us of education

public boardcasting sevice

viewers like you

thank you

                                              characters

                                                  and

                                                      voices

                                                              by

                                                                   marc brown

and others

                        a complete list is now from pbs

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and by these funders

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