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Desk Wars/Transcript
You can learn a lot about a person just from what's in their desk. 00:00:59For instance, in Francine's desk... 00:01:01Hey, what do you think you're doing? 00:01:03We're looking in your desk to see how neat or messy it is, stuff like that. 00:01:08No way, it's off-limits. 00:01:10Try Buster's desk. 00:01:11Hey, that's not fair! 00:01:12If he can't look in yours, then he can't look in mine. 00:01:15Try Binky's. 00:01:16He's going to get more than he bargained for if he tries to open my desk. 00:01:22Come on, guys, it's for the show. 00:01:23FRANCINE: That's another thing: How come you're the one who gets to introduce the show? 00:01:28Because it's my show. 00:01:31BINKY: Well, maybe that needs to change. 00:01:33I knew this would happen eventually. 00:01:36Unfortunately, kids can be rather petty sometimes. 00:01:39Here, follow me. 00:01:40The Binky Barnes Variety Hour, and anyone who doesn't like it can walk! 00:01:44I'll show you around the teachers' lounge. 00:01:47The nice thing about adults is that we don't blow little things out of proportion. 00:01:52I didn't move your cheese! 00:01:54Yes, you did! 00:01:57Mr. Marco said so! 00:01:58All right, who isn't washing their coffee mugs? 00:02:10Yee-ha! 00:02:16(fan humming) Binky, just because George is absent today doesn't mean you can put your feet on his chair. 00:02:27RATBURN: Binky... 00:02:28put your shoes on your feet and off the chair, thank you. 00:02:32Now, as I was saying, the United Nations was established after World War II to prevent future conflicts and foster cooperation between countries. 00:02:40Its organizations include the United Nations Children's Fund... 00:02:43They're getting more breeze than everyone else. 00:02:47Yeah, it's not fair. 00:02:48And it smells funny over here. 00:02:50Maybe the heat is affecting the sandwich in my desk. 00:02:54Why did you bring a sandwich on Pizza Day? 00:02:57I didn't. 00:02:57It's from the last time we had tuna fish in the cafeteria. 00:03:00It's my emergency sandwich. 00:03:02That was a whole month ago. 00:03:04And it's polluting my air. 00:03:06Get rid of it. 00:03:07Well, it's my sandwich in my desk, so no way. 00:03:11Besides, I'm not even sure I could find it. 00:03:16Well, could you at least stop fanning the smell in my direction? 00:03:20Hey, I don't want the smell either. 00:03:22RATBURN: Arthur... 00:03:24Francine, Buster, am I going to have to split you up? 00:03:28Where was I? 00:03:30Oh, yes, the World Food Program... 00:03:31ARTHUR: Hey, is that the latest issue ofBionic Bunny? 00:03:34BUSTER: Yeah, it's really good. 00:03:37Here, you can borrow it. Thanks. 00:03:38RATBURN: The International Fund for Agriculture... 00:03:41My dad made these cookies. 00:03:44We can share them later. 00:03:45FRANCINE: Bionic Bunny'sold news. 00:03:47TheJudo Kittens are where it's at. 00:03:49Hey, Muffy, do you have thoseJudo Kitten stickers you promised me? 00:03:53(Muffy gives a judo shout) Brain, get your papers out of my space. 00:03:59I've just completed an upgrade of my desk. 00:04:02I've added a supplies dispenser. 00:04:05Press this button, for instance, and a pencil is delivered to you automatically. 00:04:09And it's all energized by a solar panel that I've put here. 00:04:14That's great, Brain, but your papers keep sliding onto my desk. 00:04:18They're my calculations showing that I'm receiving more breeze than anyone else in the class. 00:04:24Look. 00:04:24Great, but can you keep your papers a little more tidy? 00:04:28It's ourfeng shui. 00:04:30Our what? 00:04:31RATBURN: Alan, Muffy, keep it down over there. 00:04:35Oh, and we need you to hang this off the side of your desk. 00:04:38(rambling on) It's a dust ruffle. 00:04:41Huh? 00:04:41I bought the fabric and Fern sewed it. 00:04:44We girls want to spruce up our desk area a bit. 00:04:47But it's so girly. 00:04:48And it blocks my solar panel. 00:04:51And it'smydesk! 00:04:52Brain! 00:04:53Put that ruffle back up right now! 00:04:55RATBURN: All right, I've had enough. 00:04:57Alan, move to George's desk for the rest of the day. 00:05:00What?! 00:05:02But... but it was Muffy's... 00:05:04You heard me. 00:05:05RATBURN: The International Civil Aviation.... 00:05:08It's so much hotter over here. 00:05:10In fact, according to my calculations, the only desk warmer than this one is yours, Binky. 00:05:17Hey... 00:05:18that's not fair. 00:05:20And what's all this pink sticky stuff? 00:05:23And his chair squeaks. 00:05:24And what in the world is this?! 00:05:27George has been working on that all year. 00:05:30It's a dinosaur made out of wads of gum. 00:05:33Great... 00:05:34BINKY: Ah, that's nothing. 00:05:36Check out my rubber band ball. 00:05:37I've been adding to it all year. 00:05:40(Ratburn continuing lecture) FRANCINE: Hey... 00:05:47We should have an argument. 00:05:49Ratburn will split us up, and one of us will get to sit at Brain's desk. 00:05:53But I like my desk. 00:05:54BUSTER: Come on, Arthur, have an argument with us. 00:05:57I don't want to have an argument with you! 00:05:59Arthur, Buster, I warned you. 00:06:01Arthur, go sit at Alan's desk. 00:06:04Huh?! 00:06:09BRAIN: I can't believe Arthur's sitting atmydesk. 00:06:11And he's messing with my supplies dispenser! 00:06:20(murmuring) Class, I have to take an important phone call. 00:06:24While I'm gone, pick one of the United Nations agencies and write a report on it. 00:06:30(students groaning) FRANCINE: That's so like Arthur. 00:06:38He's always betraying his friends. 00:06:40So don't even try coming back. 00:06:41Yeah, we're going to recruit somebody else for our group. 00:06:45BINKY: Hey, I'll join. 00:06:46Arthur's desk has got to be cooler than mine. 00:06:49But that'll mean I'm sitting in the worst desk in the whole class. 00:06:53And it's all Muffy's fault! 00:06:56Brain, it just doesn't matter. 00:06:58If I were you, I'd take a deep breath, then work on my report. 00:07:02I want my desk back! 00:07:05I can't believe Binky's at my desk. 00:07:08ARTHUR: Oh, and sweating on it. 00:07:13I've run out of lead for my mechanical pencil. 00:07:16Arthur, hand me one of Brain's pencils. 00:07:18But won't he mind? 00:07:20Oh, no, Brain's always happy to loan me his pencils. 00:07:26I can't believe it! 00:07:26BRAIN: Arthur, how could you give her my pencil? 00:07:30Oops! 00:07:37(gasps) Hi, guys, my dentist appointmenended early. 00:07:44Uh, hi, Brain. 00:07:46Um, could I have my desk back? 00:07:49Talk to Arthur. 00:07:51Talk to Binky. 00:07:52I'm not moving. 00:07:53I like it here. 00:07:54And don't even think of sitting at my old desk. 00:07:57That's mine, too. 00:07:58What's the matter with everyone today? 00:08:00Must be the heat. 00:08:04Arthur, would you t out another pencil from Brain's desk, please? 00:08:08I can't do that, Muffy. 00:08:09They aren't my pencils to lend. 00:08:13George, would you be a dear and sharpen this pencil for me? 00:08:16You can be an honorary member of our table if you do. 00:08:21(growls) Really? You mean I can sit with you guys? 00:08:24Uh, no, it's only an honorary membership. 00:08:27But what do you say, will you? 00:08:30BRAIN: George... 00:08:31give me that pencil or your friend here gets it. 00:08:35SUE ELLEN: Hey, that's not fair! 00:08:37I've watched George work on that dinosaur all year! 00:08:41If you destroy it, Binky's rubber band ball gets tossed out the window. 00:08:47Hey! 00:08:48George, don't listen to them! 00:08:50Give the pencil to me or Brain's desk gets covered inJudo Kittenstickers. 00:08:55FRANCINE: Hey! 00:08:56You promised me those stickers. 00:08:58If you waste them on Brain's desk, your dust ruffle is toast. FERN: Hey! 00:09:03Cut up that dust ruffle and Arthur's comic book gets shredded! 00:09:07Hey, that's my comic book! 00:09:09And if it gets even a single tear... 00:09:12I'm eating all of Arthur's cookies! 00:09:17Hey! 00:09:17(humming nervously) So what's it going to be, George? 00:09:25(resumes humming) George, now, I've also got Sue Ellen's United Nations report. 00:09:45Hey! 00:09:45Whittle down that pencil any more and it's history! 00:09:52(gasps) (shouts) No! 00:09:58I warned you! 00:10:00(Binky yells) (crackling) (tearing) MUFFY: Kitten number one... 00:10:08Kitten number two... 00:10:10No! My desk! 00:10:12I warned you, Muffy! 00:10:14(screams) My comic! 00:10:20My cookies! 00:10:23Hey! 00:10:23(everyone shouting and arguing) What in Aunt Betsy is going on here?! 00:10:40(kids all complaining) Quiet, everybody! 00:10:46Since this class is normally a well-behaved group of children, I'm going to give you an opportunity to work together to clean up this mess. 00:10:54But if you don't, you'll all be staying after school and I'll help you work it out. 00:10:59I'll be back. 00:11:02Yuck. 00:11:02Well, I'll gather all the erasers. 00:11:05No fair! That's the easiest job! 00:11:08And this mess is allyourfault. 00:11:11My fault?! 00:11:11What about Muffy? 00:11:12What did I do? 00:11:14He ate my cookies! 00:11:16I didn't do anything! 00:11:17George, why are you cleaning up? 00:11:19You didn't make any of this mess. 00:11:21I don't mind cleaning up. 00:11:22You guys make a big deal out of everything. 00:11:24I suppose I could straighten the desks. 00:11:28I'll rewrite Sue Ellen's U.N. report. 00:11:31I'll get a mop. 00:11:33I just got off the phone with my sister. 00:11:36And I'm an uncle! 00:11:38Oh, and what a wonderful, peaceful classroom this is on a lovely bright sunny day! 00:11:45This is great! 00:11:46It was really nice of you to invite the whole class over, Muffy. 00:11:49It was the least I could do. 00:11:51We all needed to cool down. 00:11:52Hey, what started that fight anyway? 00:11:56BOTH: I don't know. 00:11:58Hey, do you hear that noise? 00:12:01(boinging) (screams) BINKY: My rubber band ball. 00:12:07Hey, come back here! 00:12:08Close the gate so it doesn't bounce out! 00:12:11BUSTER: It's headed for the topiary! 00:12:13MUFFY: Let's help him corner it!
