D.W.'s Baby/Transcript

Dad (V.O.): It would fit right here.

D.W Read: Huh?

(D.W. enters her room to see what her parents are talking about.)

D.W.: What would fit?

Mom: The crib. Pretty soon, sweetie, Kate will be sleeping in here with you.

D.W.: (excitedly) She will!?

(D.W. runs into Arthur’s room)

D.W.: Maybe you made her burp, Arthur, but she’s going to be living with me in my room! (nervously giggles when she sees her parents)

(D.W. directs her parents as they position Kate’s crib)

D.W.: A little to the left. Easy does it. Mom, your end's crooked.

D.W: (Speaking to Kate) We’re gonna have so much fun!

Kate: (giggles)

(D.W. Notices an unpleasant loser and holds her nose in disgust)

D.W.: P.U.! What’s that awful smel!?!

Jane: It’s Kate D.W. she can’t use the toilet, so she uses diapers instead.

Arthur: Face it D.W., it’s going to smell a lot worse than tha...

D.W.: I can handle it!

(The scene transitions to night. Kate’s crying keeps D.W. awake)

(Fade out to the next day. Jane is changing Kate’s soiled diaper. D.W. catches a whiff of the soiled cloth and is disgusted by it)

D.W.: (holding her nose) P.U.! It stinks like a zoo in here!

(D.W. runs to the window to let in some fresh air)

Mom: D.W., close that. The baby will be in a draft!

D.W.: (holding her doll) Ewww! My doll smells like stinky diapers!

(a brown stain begins to appear on the bottom of D.W.’s doll. D.W. stares at it in disbelief.)

D.W.: (disgusted) Oh no. My doll just pooped herself.

D.W.: (Turning to her mom for help) What do I do?

(D.W.’s Mom farts)

D.W.: EWWWW!

(D.W. suddenly feels a cramp in her stomach. She doubles over in pain before releas a long wet far. And pooping her pants.

D.W.: PEEEEYOUUUUU!!!

(The overwhelming smell of poop causes D.W. to pass out.)

(At night, D.W. covers her head with a pillow while Kate cries. Transition to daytime.)

D.W.: You want to play too, Kate? Here, you can have my truck. Watch out, though. The tire kind of rolls off.

(D.W. Notices a bad smell and winces in disgust)

[D.W.]: Ewww! Mom, Kate pooped!

(That night, D.W. has a nightmare about living with Kate. D.W. is cheering at the big game.)

Announcer: And now Your Elwood Tigers!

(The cheerleaders form into a pyramid. D.W. climbs on top. Everyone is cheering for her. Suddenly, a long wet fart is heard throughout the stadium. D.W.’s panties begin to fill with poop.)

Cheerleaders: (sniffing the air) EWWWWWWW!

(The cheerleaders drop D.W. who falls to the ground)

Announcer: oh my god. Ladies and Gentlemen, it seems that D.W. just pooped herself!

(Everyone begins laughing at D.W.)

Crowd: Diaper Baby! Diaper Baby! Diaper Baby! Ha Ha Ha!

(The head cheerleader approaches D.W. carrying a diaper bag.)

Cheerleader: (holding her nose) P.U.! The poor baby made a big stinky didn’t she?

(Everyone continues to make fun of D.W. as she is changed).

(Transition to daytime, Jane feeds Kate her bottle.)

Jane: What a good girl you are!

(D.W. tiredly looks at her cereal)

Jane: D.W., eat your cereal.

D.W.: I can't eat. My teeth are tired. And stinky...

(D.W. Takes her trouble to the Tibble Twins)

[Tommy Tibble]: So why not just get rid of her?

[D.W]: I can’t Mommy and Daddy like her.

[Timmy Tibnle]: well what if she did bad things...

[D.W.]: All she ever does is poop and stink up the whole house...

(Arthur walks by with baby Kate in her stroller. D.W. And the twins recoil in disgust at the smell of Kate’s recently used diaper.)

[D.W.]: Peeeyouuu!

[Tommy Tibble]: That’s it! All you have to do is frame her!

(Transition to next scene. Jane, D.W., and Kate are walking past a construction core when a building is demolished.)

D.W.: (accusingly) Kate did it!

Jane: A demolition Machine did it D.W. Do not accuse your sister like that!

(Transition to next scene, D.W. is sitting alone in her room. Nadine enters to comfort her. But when she does, the lingering smell of Kate’s most recent diaper change hits her)

Nadine: Peeeyouu! It stinks in here.

D.W.: I don’t know what to do.

Nadine: (having an idea) You could run away...

D.W.: (holding her nose) Anything’s better than this stink!

(Transition to next scene, D.W. And Nadine rowing out to button island)

Nadine: (hesitant) Are you sure about this?

D.W.: My parents have Kate now. They don’t need me...

Nadine: But what about Kate? without you. Arthur’s going to have to teach her how to do things...

D.W.: You’re right we have to go back. Kate needs me!

(Transition to next scene. D.W. Arrives home and is greeted by a frantic Jane.)

Jane: D.W. Where were you?! We were all worried.

(D.W. Pushes past her concerned mother and rushes to Kate)

D.W.: Don’t worry Kate I’m here. A big sisters always what a little sister needs.

(Kate giggles. D.W. sniffs the air and notices a bad smell)

D.W.: (retracting from the stink) PEEEEEEEEYOUUUUU!!

(Transition to shot of outside the reads house)

D.W.: that and a clean diaper. MOM! Kate Pooped again!

(Transition to closing titles)